What will be, will be
by PablosGirl
Summary: Sirius and Remus live at number 12, not knowing that one evening a young witch with bubblegum pink hair will walk...or better tumble into their lives and change everything. But times are rough and dark and so they have to fight to keep their lives worth living. A story about an old friendship and a growing romance. Begins with Harry's 5th year. Male OC. RL/NT
1. new acquaintances

It was alsmost midnight. The dirty London road lay dark and quiet except for the sound of two cats fighting behind some dustbins and meowing miserably. Then suddenly a loud snap could be heard and a dark figure appeared, walked directly onto number 11 and 13 and seemingly disappeared again in the wall between them. The street was deserted and still like a few moments ago, as if no one just had appeared and disappeared there.

"I don't know either where he is, he should have already been here by now.", added Kingsley Shacklebolt to the murmur of voices in the kitchen of number 12.

"He will come, Kingsley.", answered a man with long matted hair who was sitting at the end of the kitchen table.

But at this moment Sirius Black spoke more to himself than to the Auror, because secretly he was worrying the most about his best friend, the only one he had left.

"You're right, Remus is reliable. But if he doesn't turn up soon, it's serious…", said the Auror.

An indefinable grunting noise was the only answer Sirius gave, when suddenly the doorbell rang.

Immediately the portrait of Mrs. Black started screaming und cursing everyone and anything that moved.

The order members exchanged nervous glances because usually no one of them would ring the doorbell…

But before anybody could have said anything, a young female Auror had already jumped up.

It was Nymphadora Tonks' first day in the order and she desperately wanted to do everything right.

But overly motivated as she was, not spending a single thought on possible danger, she ran into the hallway. (In her defence: no one of her colleagues had inducted her into the order's secret so far)

Her left hand was already on the door handle, when she tripped over the troll-leg umbrella stand.

She fell, pressed down the handle and landed on the hard wooden floor with a thump, while violet sparks emerged from her wand, sooting the already dark ceiling even more.

Bill Weasley and his father stepped over her to close the curtains and shut Mrs. Black's portrait up.

Behind her Sirius and Kingsley let down their wands again, as they recognized the person standing in the now open front door.

Remus Lupin looked puzzled onto the young woman on the floor and pulled the hood of his cloak from his head.

Suddenly remembering what she learned as an Auror, Nymphadora Tonks pointed her wand at him threateningly.

Lupin however just unimpressed raised his eyebrows, looked at Black for a second, who couldn't hold back a grin, and pulled Tonks onto her feet.

"Hello.", he murmured and shoved past her into the kitchen.

"WHO is that?", he asked Sirius back in the kitchen, so only he could hear him.

"You'll see, Remus…new order member.", Sirius grinned.

But Remus just looked at him, half amused, half unbelieving and sat down next to Sirius at the end of the table.

"Knew it was you.", Mad-Eye Moody grumbled.

"Could have told us then.", Kingsley replied slightly annoyed.

" See? That's the only reason I ran to the door…", Tonks tried to explain sheepishly while she tried to get rid of the dust on her robe. "Just because Mad-Eye didn't say anything…that's it…"

"I think, now that we are all here, we can begin our meeting!", Albus Dumbledore announced while Molly Weasley let some beverages float to the table. "First things first! I am very happy to introduce you all to our newest member, Miss Nymphadora Tonks. She's fully trained Auror and will help our work in the future. And I am sure that Kingsley and Med-Eye didn't pick her for no reason…"

The headmaster smiled lightly and Tonks couldn't stop the heat anymore from rushing into her cheeks, turning them fire red, just like her hair that changed from candy-pink to tomato-red.

Ashamed Tonks lowered her eyes.

_What a great start_, she thought.

"That's your second cousin, Andromeda's daughter!", Remus said quietly to Sirius, as he saw how the colour of her hair changed.

"Oh yes, that's her…that's her to a tee.", Sirius smirked.

Tonks heard them mumbling and looked over to the end of the table but Remus looked away as soon as their eyes met.

So did she and yet she often caught herself looking in his direction during the meeting.

There was something about him…he looked old and yet young. He must have been about Sirius' age and just like him, he looked older than he was.

His skin was pale and he had dark shadows under his eyes, giving him a sickish look. His light brown hair had some grey streaks in it and all in all he gave a rather exhausted, if not powerless, impression.

"…and this is Remus Lupin!", said Dumbledore, ending his round of introduction, and Tonks flinched as the man suddenly nodded to her.

_Remus Lupin…,_ she thought and somehow this name rang a bell, but she couldn't remember where she had heard it before.

"Let's start with your report, Remus. There's nothing of interest for us in the Ministry at the moment.", Kingsley suggested and all eyes were on Remus.

He swallowed hard at the thought of the last weeks…

"Well…I don't have good news, Albus.", he said seriously. "More and more approve of his views and want to join Greyback in his cause… they think he's right."

For a few seconds Remus hesitated but then continued his report.

"His attacks on wizards are rising…and he doesn't even exclude Muggles anymore. Some of them even volunteer to participate in the attacks. He seldomly does it himself anymore…unless the targets are children…he attacks them, infects them…and kidnaps them to train and raise them in his favour.", Remus explained quietly.

"Greyback bites children and raises them in his pack to obey Voldemort and hate anything contrary.", Kingsley whispered so Tonks, who looked at him questioning, would understand.

"Is that all, Remus?", asked Dumbledore with raised eyebrows, as he saw how Remus' eyes gazed through the table into the nothingness.

"Sorry? Uh, yes…", Remus said puzzled and Sirius frowned.

Something was wrong with his old friend, he knew Remus long enough to know…

"There's still hope. He is new in the pack…Ben Thompson. I've observed him, he hesitates and looks mistrusting whenever Greyback holds one of his speeches. He avoids him and his most loyal followers, hardly speaks at all and keeps the contact to a minimum. And I don't think it's just because he's new. Maybe he could become an ally, but I can't be sure yet. That's…that is all."

But Sirius still had the bad feeling, that Remus left something out…


	2. conversations

**Hello everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Feedback is very welcome, no matter if positive, negative or suggestions.**

**I am not a native speaker but I hope there aren't too many too bad mistakes in there. ;) **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

One after another, the order members left number 12, until only Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and Tonks were left.

They were chatting and drinking a glass of red wine, which made Tonks even more sleepy.

All day long she had been at work at the Ministry, nervous and excited about what this mysterious "something" might be that Kingsley and Moody wanted to introduce her to.

Now she knew and it gave her a good feeling to know, that she would be able to do something against Voldemort and his Deatheaters.

At the other end of the table Sirius and Remus, who both permanently lived in number 12, sat without talking to each other.

Sirius looked at his old friend from the side, who seemed to be lost in thought and sighed from time to time.

Finally Sirius quietly addressed him: "Moony, I know you are always worn-out when you come back, but this time there has to be something else. What's wrong?"

Sadly Remus looked back at him and said: "It's not easy…you know."

"I know!", Sirius answered. "But…I mean you rang the doorbell. You know the password and I know that you're not like that…at least usually. You've been sitting here for half an hour, staring through the table!"

"Well…there's this one kid. He can't be older than 12…he was kidnapped by Greyback some time ago. And now he wants him to attack someone for him…and I just can't forget the look on his face, when he told him…he nearly panicked.", Remus explained frustrated.

"Bloody coward…sends kids ahead…knows exactly what happens…", Sirius growled. "What did the kid do?"

"What do you think?", Remus snorted. "He did what he was told."

"And now? Do you know what happened to him?", Sirius asked.

But Remus didn't say anything. Instead he just pointed at a small article in the Daily Prophet, which was still lying around on the table, and then proceeded to stare into his wine glass.

"Werewolf attacks wizard…caught immediately by the Ministry…brought to Azkaban by Dementors…now awaiting-", Sirius read whispering but Remus already finished his sentence without looking up.

"The dementor's kiss or a lifelong prison sentence.", Remus said flatly. "And there's nothing I could do for him."

"It's not your fault and you know that!", Sirius protested.

"I know Padfoot, but you know what's even worse? That I can't change anything about it!", Remus answered frustrated.

A few minutes they both remained silent, until Sirius started to speak again, now a bit softer.

"You should go to sleep, Remus.", he said and looked up, as something pink shifted itself into his view.

"Sleep? Sounds great Sirius!", Tonks said, looking rather tired.

Smiling sheepishly she stood in front of the two men.

"You said I could live here for a few weeks, remember? I mean…only if it's still okay. I…I won't break anything, I promise! At least I'll try to.", Tonks said clumsily.

"I'm sorry Tonks, I totally forgot about that. Of course you can live here until your new apartment is ready. I'll show you your room.", Sirius said smiling. "Come on, Remus."

Everyone had already gone to bed and the house was scarily silent, when Tonks left her room to go to the bathroom.

Her hand reached out for the doorknob, as a creaking noise startled her and she turned around.

"Lumos!", she said and the light from her wand fell onto Remus Lupin, still in his normal clothes, who stood in the hallway and looked at her.

"After you.", he smirked and gestured at the bathroom door.

"Merlin! You scared the shit out of me!", Tonks nearly laughed and exhaled deeply.

"Oh, I didn't mean to do that. Sorry!", he said and really seamed to mean it.

"Why are you walking around the house without any light, Remus? That's creepy!", she laughed and then thought about what she had said. "I mean…Mr. Lupin. Sorry."

Smooth as always, Tonks, she thought and blushed a little.

"I…know the house quite well by now. That's all. Don't worry, no need to be formal, Remus is perfectly fine for me.", he said quickly. "Nymphadora, right?"

"Oh, please no! Not that name!", Tonks said and cringed dramatically.

Remus, who had sat down on the steps, looked at her in confusion.

"It's just…I hate my name. just call me Tonks, okay? An now, I have to go somewhere.", she said and disappeared into the bathroom.

_Strange fellow,_ she thought while looking in the mirror.

When she left the bathroom, Remus was still sitting on the steps.

"You can go in now, if you want.", Tonks said smiling clumsily, since Remus still looked as if he would fall asleep any second.

"Thanks…and, uh...welcome to the order again!", he said.

"Looks like it's going to be exhausting, huh?", she thought aloud and looked at Remus who stood in front of her with his worn out clothes, tangled hair and looking bleary-eyed.

Tonks already feared he might be offended and smiled apologetically, but Remus just looked down at himself and smiled for the first time this evening.

"Well, you're right, I should really change into something more comfortable. In this point you're ahead of me.", he said jokingly and now looked at Tonks who stood there in her girly sleeping clothes and thick, cosy socks.

"So what…that's…very cosy and I need something cosy!", she replied acting offended. "I'll go back to sleep now."

"Good night, Tonks!", he said smiling.

"Good night!", she said and closed her door behind her.

_Strange fellow_, she thought and crawled back into her bed...


	3. hot tea

The rest of the week seemed to fly by, at least for Tonks, who worked all day.

While Sirius, who was stuck in number 12, and Remus, who didn't have to do any missions for the order, had nothing left but to clean the house and make it habitable.

And so it got Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and eventually Saturday.

Tonks finally could sleep in because she didn't have any shifts this weekend and so she strolled down into the kitchen to eat breakfast. Lost in thought she went to the kitchen counter and made herself a cup of tea, one of the few things she was capable of in the kitchen without risking to set the house on fire.

"Morning!", someone suddenly said behind Tonks, startling her.

"Oh, good morning!", she answered and smiled at Remus, who had been sitting at the table with the Daily Prophet and a cup of tea.

"Where is Sirius? I thought he would be here, too?", Tonks asked to hush up her jumpiness.

"He is upstairs with Buckbeak.", Remus answered, keeping his eyes on the newspaper.

After his missions he was always very reserved and more suspicious than necessary. Therefore he would have preferred to leave the room right now instead of chatting with the young witch, but he already finished the newspaper and so he willy-nilly had to put it aside.

"So…already feel at home?", he began to talk to his own surprise.

"Well, it's a bit lonely, isn't it? Bit empty, so depressing…", she answered.

"It is…but it's okay in the living room in front of the fireplace.", Remus said, not knowing what he was talking about at all.

"Naaah, I better skip that…making this tea here was already risky enough for me.", Tonks joked and pointed at the steaming cup in front of her. "I' m afraid I would set the whole room on fire, or did you forget my first evening here?"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, you've already achieved a lot if you are already a fully-trained Auror…at your age, I mean.", Remus said and Tonks got the hint.

"I'm 22, if you want to know…and you?", she said smiling slyly and leaned back in her chair, the cup of hot tea in her hand.

Remus wanted to answer, just as Tonks spilled her tea over her hand.

"Ouch!", she squeaked as the hot tea ran down her hand.

She already wanted to take out her wand, when Remus suddenly was by her side.

"Let me take a look, convalescence-spells aren't said to be your specialty…", he said calmly.

"Kingsley!", she guessed right and Remus couldn't hide a small smile.

"Just give me a few seconds…", he murmured, more to himself than to Tonks, and carefully took her burned hand into his.

"Ssss!", she hissed, as he lightly touched her burned skin with his wand, which seemed to make him twitch a little.

But the pain in her hand was instantly eased and she looked up at him shyly.

"Thank you…I think I'll go up and change my clothes…", she said sheepishly and quickly left the kitchen, while Remus just looked at her smiling and lightly shaking his head.

One hour later Tonks was putting on her cloak to go to Diagon Alley, since she still had some errands to run.

"Sirius, do you need anything from the Magical Menagerie for Buckbeak?", she asked, as she entered the living room.

"Hmm…", he just grumbled and sank back into the cushions.

"Hey…is everything alright?", she asked.

"Yeah, sure, everything's perfectly fine. I'm sitting here, day after day, observing how everyone around me is saving the world, while I'm beating Doxys out of the curtains. Couldn't be better!", he replied in a nearly angry tone. "I'm sorry Tonks, I didn't want to bark at you."

"You know…I'm just frustrated and worried.", he added because Tonks still didn't say anything.

"It's okay, what are you worrying about? Harry?", Tonks asked and sat down next to him. "He'll be alright. He can take care of himself and he's in Hogwarts, could he be any safer?"

"Oh yes, because he never got into any trouble during the last years…", Sirius said sarcastically.

Tonks didn't know what to reply...

"But it's not just Harry...I'm worried about Remus as well. Every time he returns from his mission he looks worse. He's not the one to be late or would even think about ringing the doorbell. He's a bloody diehard and always says that it's not that bad...have you seen him lately?"

"Well, I've only known him for a few days now...but he does look very tired.", was all Tonks could say and a long silence ensued.

"Hey! I have an idea! How about you accompany me as a dog, Sirius? So I won't have to go on my own and you'll get outside a bit."

"I don't think this would be a good idea.", a voice said, coming from behind their backs, where Remus leaned in the door frame with crossed arms. "Someone could recognize him, it's just too dangerous."

"You sound like Dumbledore again, Moony. I'm going crazy in here! Tonks is right, what of it?", Sirius said.

"Do what you have to do.", Remus just said and left the room without another word.

Later that day Tonks and Sirius, who really looked much more relaxed, entered number 12 again.

"See? Told you it would be good for you to get a little bit of fresh air!", said Tonks hung her coat over one of the kitchen chairs.

"Okay, okay, you were right! I can't wait to show this to Buckbeak, he'll go nuts over it!", Sirius grinned and waved a squeaking rubber-rat in front of Tonks' face. "Maybe I'll catch Remus, if he hasn't crawled away again."

Then he left the kitchen and Tonks alone.

_Nice to see Sirius so relaxed for a change, _Tonks thought. _Remus could use some relaxation, too. But what of it? It's none of my business..._

The same night, Tonks just couldn't fall asleep.

She tried to count sheep. No effect. She tried to relax. But this didn't help either.

_I don't believe this!, Why can't I fall asleep for Merlin's sake? Aw, stuff it, at least I should use the time productively..._

And so Tonks took her incomplete reports for the Aurors' office and went down into the living room.

"Incendio!", she said, waving her wand at the fireplace.

_Well, could be worse_, she thought as a small but warming fire appeared.

But only a few minutes later there were just a few small, miserable flames left of it.

At the same time upstairs in his room Remus woke up with a jolt. He had cold sweat on his forehead and was breathing heavily. "Lumos!", he whispered and his room lit up.

He exhaled a little bit calmer and sank back into his pillow.

Only a few moments ago he had been surrounded by complete darkness, running around, screaming for the others. But the only thing he had felt was the bad feeling that there was someone or something behind him. And every time he had turned around, he looked into complete blackness.

_I won't go back to sleep now anyway,_ Remus thought, stood up and headed for the living room.

"What the...?", he whispered as he entered the room.

Tonks turned her head around and smiled friendly at him.

"Hey! Still awake, too, huh?", she said.

"Yeah, well...more like again...so yes.", he stammered. "What are you doing here?"

Remus was confused. Until now he had always been alone here late at night.

"Well, I couldn't sleep and so I grabbed some paper work, made a fire and sat down here...sooo...", she answered.

Remus only nodded and walked past her to the fireplace to transform the tiny flames into a big warming fire again.

_What a strange sight, Remus without his shirt and cloak_, she thought watching him.

He was wearing long pajama pants, a simple black longsleeve shirt and...

"The socks are from Molly.", he said, following her gaze to his feet. "Just wait till Christmas and you'll get your very own pair of Weasley socks. Weren't you freezing without a fire?"

"Nearly without fire, if you please!", Tonks joked to cover up how embarrassed she was because of her pitiful fire.

"Okay, nearly without a fire.", Remus said and sat down next to her on the sofa.

His hand moved towards her and Tonks already wanted to move away from him, as he picked up a blanket from the back rest and offered it to her.

"Oh! I hadn't seen this. Thank you.", she said smiling and wrapped herself up in the cosy plaid. "Nightmares, right?"

"Hmm? What?", Remus woke up from his thoughts and looked at her shocked. "Why are you asking?"

"Well, I guessed, no need to worry!", she answered quickly to calm him down.

"Well yes, let's call it a nightmare.", he said and they both just looked into the flames for a few moments.

"Let's get your mind off that...", she finally suggested.

"What do you mean?", he asked nervously and blushed a little and Tonks couldn't keep back her laughter.

"No! Not what you think! Just a bit of talking, to get to know each other better.", she smiled at him. "Let's see...what's your favourite colour?"

Remus slightly tilted his head and looked at her in doubt.

"Oh come on, Remus!", she encouraged him.

"Fine...brown."

"Brown?! That's no colour! ", she laughed.

"So? What do you think?", he said.

"Well, real colours...like yellow, red, pink..."

"Especially pink, right?", he grinned, surprising himself with his sudden change of mood.

"So?", she said, lightly punching his shoulder.

"Okay, okay! Let's see...which was your house in Hogwarts?, he asked and instantly regretted his question. His childhood and life were the last things he wanted to talk about now...

"Hufflepuff...probably because of my clumsiness.", she answered.

"Or because of your good nature...I was in Gryffindor by the way."

"Yes!", Tonks said when suddenly her memory came back. "You went to Hogwarts with Sirius and Harry's dad, right?"

"Yes...", he said shortly.

"Oh...oh, I'm sorry.", Tonks said sheepishly.

"Chocolate?", he asked after a few awkward moments of silence and held a bar in front of her.

"Of course, thank you? Where did you get this from so quickly?", she smiled and took a piece of chocolate.

"Itsh good!", she mumbled with her mouth full.

"Remus?", she eventually asked after they had chewed on their chocolate in silence for a few moments.

"Hmm?"

"I think I know what you are now.", she said and Remus instantly felt as if he was having a heart attack and started to cough.

_This can't be! Sirius promised not to tell her and he always managed to wriggle out when she asked something suspicious..._

"You're a woman in disguise, aren't you? Only women eat chocolate to get over their feelings!", she grinned.

But Remus only smiled after this shock.

After a while Tonks got more and more quiet and Remus quickly realized why.

Just as he looked at her, her eyes shut, although she tried to keep them open desperately.

Like a little child, who doesn't want to go to bed yet.

"Tonks? Hey, Tonks!", he whispered and slightly shook her shoulder.

"Hmm? What's wrong?", she asked sleepily.

"Don't you think you should go to bed? We have to go get Harry tomorrow, remember? Let's go to bed, okay?", he asked gently.

_What am I doing here?,_ he thought as he caught himself smiling.

"If need be...", she murmured, stretched a little and shuffled to the hallway. "Good night, Remus."

"Good night, Tonks!", he said.

She was almost at the door, when Remus plucked up courage.

"Tonks?", he called.

"Yes?"

He crossed the distance between them, wondering about his own behaviour again.

"Thank you...I mean, for cheering me up.", he said almost shyly and stood there a little bit lost.

_Should I shake her hand? Way to formal...great, now I'm standing here like a bloody idiot_, he thought, but Tonks already took that off his shoulders, placing her arms around his neck to hug him.

At first he was totally surprised but then he embraced her, too, and lightly stroke her shoulder with his thumb.

"See you tomorrow!", she said, and smiled at him, before she went upstairs.

"See you tomorrow.", he murmured and took a deep breath.

A warm sensation had spread inside him, as the young witch had hugged him...


	4. confrontation

Hello everyone! :)

Here's the new chapter for you! If there are any mistakes or something else, just let me know wo I can improve it!

I hope you enjoy it and I appreciate every review! :)

* * *

Still being a little bit sleepy, Remus walked into the kitchen.

To his relief only Sirius was there and so he directly started to talk about what worried him.

The shock, Tonks might have learned of his lycanthropy still gripped him to the marrow.

To be honest he didn't even know why he still hid it from her, sooner or later she would find out anyway.

Maybe he was just afraid it could complicate their work for the order...at least that was the lie Remus told himself...

"Sirius, I have to talk to you.", he said seriously.

"Sure, what's wrong? Has anything happened?", Sirius answered, looking up from the Daily Prophet.

"Not directly...it's just...you haven't told Tonks-", he began, checking the room again for her. "You haven't told her about me...about my little problem?"

"Which one? The inability to speak your mind aloud?", Sirius said grinning.

"Sirius, I mean it!"

"No, of course I haven't! Why should I? It's up to you, we already made that clear a long time ago.", Sirius said.

"Thank you...", Remus said relieved.

"Although I really don't know where your problem is.", Sirius murmured, more to himself than to Remus.

Sighing, Remus sat down on the chair he had been leaning on before.

"It's just nice to get to know each other without any prejudices for a change, you know...", he said tiredly.

"Tell me about it! I'm a hunted mass murderer, who betrayed his best friends to Voldemort. It's hard to get to know anybody like that!", Sirius huffed but instantly regretted what he had said.

There was a deep silence between the two friends.

"It's not your fault, Sirius. You had no chance to stop him...he ran into the sewer."

"And even that wouldn't have brought them back...I know.", Sirius said frustrated and rubbed his eyes. "Remus, do you really think Tonks is someone to be guided by prejudice? Neither will your furry little problem impede your work together, nor will it stop her from building up a friendship."

"Yeah maybe, but-", Remus began but Sirius interrupted him.

"What's more, she's an Auror, Remus! She's got access to all the records in the Beast Division! And she definitely knows who Greyback is. Eventually she'll put one and one together, Remus! You're gone once a month, you're completely exhausted and tired at the same time. You go to the Werewolves as a spy!"

"I know, Sirius! But it's not easy, you know?", Remus sighed.

"I mean, how long did it take us to discover it back then?", Sirius said more softly. "I think it would be worse for her to realize that you were hiding it from her and lying to her than to be completely honest with her. Tonks is a good person and she's a loyal friend, trust me. And now eat something, your clothes need something to cling to."

"Maybe you're right...", Remus said, rubbing his forehead.

"Who is right with what?", asked Tonks, who had just come into the kitchen yawning.

"Nothing! Sirius just said I should eat something.", Remus said quickly before Sirius could say anything.

"Thatsh right! You're all shkin and bonesh, Remush!", she mumbled again with her mouth full of cereal.

"I'm going to look after Buckbeak for a while.", Sirius said more enthusiastically than necessary and left the kitchen...but not without a last urgent look at Remus.

"Are you good at flying? On a broom I mean. Mad-Eye wants to get Harry by broom.", Tonks asked, snapping Remus out of his thoughts.

"Er, yes. I mean, it's good enough. I was never as good as Sirius or James, but it will do.", Remus answered.

"Remus? Can I ask you something?"

"Er, sure...", Remus tried to say as calm as possible but his skin got a bit pale.

"I'm working with someone from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures..."

_Oh no_, Remus thought but tried to keep his head.

"...but I just can't manage one of his reports. It's about Werewolves, you know, and...is everything alright?", she asked as she saw how pale Remus had gotten and how he bit his lip in tension.

"Yes!", he said a bit too quickly. "I just have sore muscles. Nothing serious."

"Er, okay, if you say so...", she hesitated and looked at him in confusion. "Well I was wondering if you could help me with the report."

She looked at him smiling.

"Of course, but...why are you asking _me_?", he asked nervously, waiting for Tonks to let him know she knew...

But the young witch only looked at him all confused.

"Well, er, wasn't it you, who taught Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts?"

Remus exhaled deeply in relief and could literally feel the weight falling off his shoulders.

"Oh, I see...yes, that was me...when should I help you?", he said.

"I'll let you know!", Tonks said, still a bit puzzled. "You should really eat something, Remus."

Then she left the kitchen.

_I knew it, strange guy, _Tonks thought.

As soon as she had left the room Remus sunk back into his chair.

_Sirius was right, she'll find out soon. All the more, if I keep behaving like I'm surrounded by Dementors every time she touches upon it..._, Remus thought and went upstairs into his room.

A few hours later, Remus hesitantly opened the door to Tonks' room and entered.

"Okay, I just got a few books...", he said.

_As if I needed them_, he thought frustrated.

"So we can...Tonks?!"

"What?! I'm already at it Kingsley, I...Remus? Oh, I must've dozed off.", Tonks said sleepily and looked at Remus with red cheeks.

"No problem...you...", he said and wiped over his own cheek with a thumb.

Tonks imitated him hastily and her thumb got ink-blue.

"Oh no! I'll be back in a minute! Just take a seat!", she said and hurried into the bathroom.

But Remus didn't sit down, he wouldn't even have known where to take a seat. Her room was chaotic. Her clothes were scattered everywhere. Short skirts, bright tights and over a hook hung her purple coat. The only free seat was the one Tonks had sat on only a few seconds ago and he didn't want to sit on her bed either. Not only because he would feel uncomfortable doing it, but also because he didn't want to crinkle the clothes on it even more.

"Here I am, ink-free. It won't take too long, I promise!", she said as she entered the room again and sat down in front of her desk.

"My biggest problem is this passage here: yada yada yada..._if you ever have to arrest a werewolf, who is under the influence of the Wolfsbane Potion, then the best time to do so is the transformation itself. Like that you will have time until midnight to locate it and thanks to the potion it will be pain-free and thus better to control._ Yes, that's the passage. But there's something wrong, isn't it? Why until midnight?"

_Pain-free...pain-free my arse! What kind of amateur wrote that?_, Remus thought and even got a bit angry on the inside.

"You're right, that's wrong. The transformation begins as soon as the Werewolf sees the full-moon or as soon as it has risen completely."

"Ah, thank you!", she said and smiled at Remus, who had bent over her to see the text better.

Only now he realized how close he was to her and straightened up again a little.

_She smells good_, crossed his mind and he cursed his keen wolf-senses.

"Do you see anything else I should correct?", she asked without looking up.

So he leaned in again, forcing himself only to look on the text.

"Well...", he just said and contemplated.

"Yes?", she asked smiling and turned around to him again.

She was so close to him that she could see the fine scars in his face and the pattern of his grey eyes.

Remus instantly stood up, crossing his arms.

"Well, the point with the potion, it's not one hundred percent correct. They still suffer pain, it's just more bearable. So they stay dangerous.", he said.

"Well, then I'm glad I have an expert.", she smiled at him before she corrected the passage.

"I'll leave the books here, in case you need to look something up. I'm going to get ready. We have to leave soon.", Remus said and left the room in a hurry.

"Thank you!", she yelled after him and started to pack her stuff, too.

Another two hours later a handful of wizards were standing in the Dursley's hallway with illuminated wands. Everything seemed to be silent, until another light appeared at the stair head.

"Who are you!", Harry said suspiciously.

"We're here to collect you, boy! , grumbled Moody up the stairs.

Slowly Harry came down the steps.

"Professor Lupin!", he said honestly happy as he recognised his old teacher.

"Hello Harry! Forget about the professor...just call me Remus, if you want to. Nice to see you again...", Remus answered smiling but was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing his throat behind him. "I get it Mad-Eye...I have to ask you a question, Harry, just to be sure: what shape does your Patronus take?"

"A stag, why...", Harry began puzzled but Remus had already turned around again.

"It's him Mad-Eye!", he said and everyone seemed to relax.

"Professor...er, Remus? Can I ask you something, too?", Harry asked and went on after Remus nodded invitingly. "What form does a Boggart take for you?"

After hesitating a few seconds, Remus leaned in a bit, so only Harry could hear him and whispered: "The full-moon."

Two broken glasses and even more "sorrys" by Tonks later, they struck off to number 12.

Tonks flew slalom a few times although Moody was grumping again, while everyone else seemed to be amused.

Against expectation there weren't any problems during their journey and so they went back to number 12 unharmed and in time to hold an order meeting which the other teenagers, who had arrived at number 12 in the meantime, didn't attend.

Sirius and Remus were the first ones to leave the living-room and enter the kitchen.

"Do you hear that?", Remus asked, as they sat down at the table.

Sirius listened concentrated and eventually nodded.

"That's Harry.", he said.

"Why is he yelling? I don't know him like that.", Remus said pensively.

"I guess he's angry because he didn't hear anything from us all summer. At least nothing that was of use for him...I would be angry, too, if someone postponed the date again and again. He just wanted to get out of this bloody hole.", Sirius answered.

Slowly the kitchen crowded with the other members because Molly had invited them to stay for dinner.

They actually wanted to celebrate Harry's birthday this evening, Hermione's and Ron's idea, but now Sirius wasn't too sure anymore if Harry would appreciate it.

But as the three walked into the kitchen a bit later they seemed to be quite relaxed. Yet Sirius wanted to talk to Harry in the hallway.

In the meantime Hermione and Ron greeted the others.

When they got to Remus, she asked him how he was doing and Remus knew what she actually meant.

"All in all quite well, thank you, Hermione! But please just call me Remus, the professor makes me sound even older, don't you think?", he smiled at his former students.

"Come on, sit down everyone! Dinner's ready!", Molly yelled over the murmur in the kitchen.

"Did he calm down?", Remus asked whispering, as Sirius sat down next to him at the end of the table.

"Yes, just as I said. He's just angry and disappointed with us all.", Sirius answered, while Remus gazed through the room.

Everyone seemed to have forgotten about the current situation in the wizarding world for a moment and they were chatting and laughing.

Kingsley and Mad-Eye were talking about their work at the Ministry.

Molly asked everyone if the food was good.

And then Remus' eyes caught on Tonks, who was joking and laughing with Fred and George at the other end of the table.

"You still haven't told her, right?", Sirius asked quietly.

"No. I just can't find the right moment to tell her, but it somehow stresses me. Today she asked me to help her with a text about Werewolves. I nearly got a heart attack, I thought she knew.", Remus replied. "You know, it just doesn't feel right, if someone's so nice to you while you are hiding from them that you're a monster...she doesn't even know who she's talking to, really."

"Oh come on! We talked about that a million times, Remus! But you made one good point there. It wouldn't be fair to hide it from her any longer. And you know that doesn't have anything to do with you being dangerous or some of that shit you've been telling yourself all your life...", Sirius said and raised his eyebrows.

After a few minutes he tried to convince his old friend again.

"On top of that you aren't doing yourself no service! You say you don't want to hinder your teamwork. But as long as you don't tell her, you're hiding yourself away again. And then you're just standing in your own way, nothing else!", Sirius said.

"I got it Padfoot!", Remus hissed, rubbing his temples as if he was having a headache.

But Sirius already stood up, patting his shoulder one last time, and went over to Kingsley and Mad-Eye.

Remus however stayed there alone, racking his brains.

After a while the twins started to play music from a magic radio.

As it got later and the blood alcohol level got higher the atmosphere got even more jolly.

Sirius sat down with Remus again, who, against Sirius' hope, hadn't moved.

Silent but smiling they observed the other celebrating guests.

Fred and George spun Tonks around the kitchen while Molly and Arthur were dancing and laughing, too.

Harry himself didn't quite have the courage and so he sent Ron ahead, when Hermione asked if he wanted to dance.

Still staggering a bit from all the spinning, Tonks flopped in a chair next to Sirius.

"Oh Merlin, everything's spinning!", she laughed. "Why are you two just sitting here like that?"

"You know, our Remus here needs someone who shoos him a bit, that's all.", Sirius said grinning and winked at her.

"Well that shouldn't be the problem!", she said, jumping up, and stood in front of Remus. "Oh come on! Let's dance a little and hope the wine eventually goes to your head!"

Remus had to laugh but then he shook his head and proceeded to look at the other guests.

But Tonks wasn't one to be shaken off easily.

_I'll get you_, she thought.

So she cowered in front of him, pouted, looked at him with her big brown eyes and wound her pink hair around her finger.

"Pleeeeeease!", she said sulkily, nearly breaking out into laughter.

"I can't dance Tonks, don't do that to yourself!", he answered pleadingly.

She stood up again, faux-ashamed, and took Sirius' hand.

"Come on, Sirius! We're going to dance now!", she said.

The two went away laughing and Remus observed them dancing with a sad smile on his lips.

"Is everything okay, dear?", Molly Weasley asked, suddenly standing next to him. "You don't look quite happy."

"Just a bit tired, that's all Molly. But thank you for the delicious food!", he smiled, moving his glass of wine around on the table, and looked away again.

Molly understood his gesture and went to the others again.

_Sirius is right. I have to tell her, it's just fair, and if I'll wait any longer it'll just get worse. If I only knew how...,_ he thought.

It got later and the first guests had gone home, as the music started to get more quiet and slow.

Tonks left Sirius alone with Kingsley and headed straight towards Remus.

_Oh no, why now, of all times?, _he thought nervously and looked into his wine, hoping he would become invisible.

But Tonks already sat down next to him, one leg tucked up.

"Hey slowcoach! What's wrong, Remus? You've been sitting here alone all evening! And I thought I would've brought you out of your shell a bit.", she said smiling at him worriedly.

"Tonks, I...", he began but broke off again, looking at her with a mixture of guilt and sadness in his eyes.

Then suddenly a bright smile spread on her face.

"Come on, let's dance. It'll cheer you up!", she said, taking his hand and pulling him up.

"Tonks, I really don't know if that's a good idea...", Remus said, but it was a miserable attempt to stop her.

In the middle of the kitchen she stopped and turned around to him, looking into his eyes.

"Don't be a coward", she grinned.

Remus heart literally screamed for running away, just to get away from here, as he heard the slow music and saw the smiling young witch in front of him.

But there was something in her smile that flipped the switch inside him.

He started to relax and stepped closer to her.

Remus took her right hand in his left one, she gently put her left one on his shoulder and eventually he conquered his shyness and put his right hand gently on her side.

They moved slowly to the music.

Remus wasn't completely relaxed, especially because he frantically tried to remember the time in school when they had learned how to dance, but all in all he felt more comfortable than expected.

"See, it's not that bad to dance with me, is it? You're doing very well!", she said, all smiles.

But everything Remus could return was a crooked smile.

He spun her around and when she spun back to him with too much momentum, he caught her, his hands now both on her sides and her hand on his shoulders.

She wasn't too close to him, but then he smelled that smell again...her smell. And now he smiled with her.

"Now that's better!", she laughed.

At first he kept smiling but then his remorse crept back into his head and he looked past her, the smile vanishing from his face.

_What is it now?,_ she thought, watching Molly clear the tables from the corner of her eye.

She didn't know why, but it worried her that she could never really cheer him up.

Looking back into his eyes she saw that he looked somehow...apologetically now.

_But what for?_

"Remus, have I done anything wrong? What's going on? If you've got something on your mind, then...", she started but this time it was him to interrupt.

"Tonks, I have to talk to you...", he said weakly and stopped moving.

Then he took her by the hand und left the kitchen, heading to the living-room and gently pulling her with him.

Only Sirius seemed to have noticed their disappearing and he looked after them over Kingsley's shoulder.

He frowned, knowing how hard this was for Remus every time and especially this time.

Tonks had brought so much life and happiness into this house and now he feared to destroy it by telling her the truth.

As soon as they had entered the living-room, Remus let go of her hand and lit a fire in the fireplace.

She closed the door hesitantly and slowly stepped up to Remus, who was still facing away from her.

But as she saw how he was kneading his hands, she stopped.

_What on earth is wrong with him?,_ she thought knitting her brow.

Slowly Remus turned around and the painful look on his face nearly startled her.

"Remus...what is wrong?!", she asked obviously worried.

At first he hesitated but finally started to speak...

"I think you better sit down. Tonks, I...the reason why...I...damnit!", he murmured, getting more and more quiet and running his fingers through his hair.

On the one hand, Tonks was happy that he would finally tell her what was wrong. But on the other hand she was afraid of _what_ he might say...had she done anything wrong?

He shifted away from her on the sofa and started to speak after a long sigh.

"Tonks, please believe me what I'm about to tell you now and believe me...it's not easy for me..."

_I can see that_, Tonks thought and she tilted her head a bit, telling him to go on.

"...the reason why I recently acted so...strange...", he said, but his usually calm and deep voice got rough and fragile.

"Yes?", she asked invitingly, gently putting her hand onto his, which was resting on his knee. "Just tell me, you'll feel better afterwards!"

Remus just looked at her hand, resting warming on his ice-cold one.

Then he worriedly looked into her brown eyes again.

"Do you remember your first night here? You asked me why I was walking around the house in complete darkness. I lied to you."

Tonks didn't understand.

"And when you wanted to take Sirius with you to Diagon Ally and I was suddenly standing behind you in the doorway..."

But Tonks only looked at him in confusion and so Remus continued with a sigh.

"You still remember how I reacted when you said "I know what you are." last night, don't you?"

She nodded but didn't look much smarter.

With every memory he brought up, his fear grew, the fear of the moment she would realize what he was trying to tell her.

But right now she was still too puzzled to put his hints together.

So he took a deep breath and continued.

"On your first evening here at the order...I came back from a long mission..."

He swallowed hard.

"A mission _only I_ could accomplish."

Slowly a blank expression took over on her face and Remus took all the courage he had left in both hands.

"Tonks...when you asked me about the Werewolf document today...because of the potion...it had nothing to do with my time as a teacher, that I could answer you...", he ended with nothing more than a whisper and he didn't dare to look up at her.

_How could I be this blind? It was so obvious! I'm a bloody Auror, I must've seen it...but I didn't...all along...,_ she thought in shock, pulling her hand back unwittingly.

"Why?", was everything she could say and slid away from him a bit more.

Finally Remus dared to look up, but what hurt him the most was the feeling of fading warmth on his skin where seconds ago Tonks hand had been.

"Remus!", she said whispering and stared at him with a mixture of anger, confusion and sadness.

For one second she thought she had seen tears in his eyes but then he already jumped up and walked to the door.

"I'm sorry...", he just said and left the room.

When he passed the kitchen, Sirius, who was sitting at the table all alone, looked after his friend.

_Oh no..._, he thought and slowly walked into the living-room where a thunderstruck Tonks awaited him.

"Why didn't I see it all the time?", she asked tonelessly and Sirius thought that she, more than anything else, was angry with herself...


	5. retreat

Hey there! Here's the new chapter, I hope you like it!

Thanks to remusdora for all the reviews so far! I really appreciate the feedback! :)

Have fun reading! :D

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"Hey, is everything okay with you?", Sirius asked quietly.

"No…it's so obvious! I mean, he goes on a mission to the Werewolves and is startled if I ask him for help with the topic. An I always thought I would recognize something like this much quicker…I'm an Auror…", Tonks said, leaning in to Sirius, who sat next to her.

"I know…when you find out about it, it just seems so…obvious. But Remus really made an effort to hide it this time.", Sirius sighed.

"But why? And why didn't you tell me about it then? You just said he would be living here with you and that you are old friends.", Tonks said.

"I promised him. A long time ago we agreed upon him, and only him, telling everyone about his condition. And it's his right. But I think you should ask him yourself, why he was hiding it from you for so long.", Sirius said sadly.

They both remained silent for a few minutes and Sirius put his arm around her.

"I mean, if I'm being honest…I don't know if I would've been that easygoing towards him if I had known it from the start…", Tonks said thoughtfully.

"See…"

"And now that I slowly made friends with him, I'm confused because I feel like he lied to me. He's so different than the common picture of a Werewolf. Dark figures, embroiled in criminal acts…he's so nice, attentive and calm. I just don't understand it, Sirius…"

And as she thought about what she had just said again, she somewhat understood Remus behavior.

She straightened herself up and looked at Sirius.

"That's what he's afraid of, right? That's why he was so torn apart?", she asked but it more sounded like a statement.

Sirius nodded slowly.

"Yes, I think so.", he said.

Again they both didn't say anything for a while and yet they didn't notice how Remus noiselessly entered the hallway behind their backs, looking into the warmly illuminated living-room one last time, before he quietly left through the front door…

The two still sat there for half an hour before Sirius could talk Tonks into going to bed. Thanks to the alcohol she fell asleep surprisingly quickly and slept all through the night.

Sirius however, was worried about Remus and so he climbed out of his bed again, crossed the hallway and knocked on Remus' door.

"Remus? Is everything alright? Can I come in?"

But nobody answered and so Sirius opened the door and looked into the empty room.

"Moony?", he asked again, as if he was hiding somewhere.

"Damnit!", he murmured.

He knew Remus far too long to panic right now.

Instead he thought about the moment the Sorting Hat had sent him to Gryffindor, finally leaving his parent's house behind, and said: "Expecto Patronum!".

A big black dog made out of silverish fog broke from his wand, shook his fur and turned to Sirius, wagging his tail.

"I'm worried, Remus!", Sirius said as if he was talking to his old friend.

The dog barked silently and ran through the window into the night sky.

Sirius turned around and sank down onto Remus' bed.

He looked around the room and a bitter laugh left his lips, as he realized he had just thought about the moment he escaped his parental home _while_ he was stuck in it again.

But then something silver in the corner of his eye snapped Sirius out of his thoughts.

A foggy, silver wolf had appeared, shyly walked towards him and then Sirius heard Remus' voice: "You know where I am, Padfoot, so don't worry about me. But please, leave me alone for a while, okay? I'll be back soon."

Then the wolf once again perked up his ears, looked Sirius directly into his eyes and dissolved.

Sirius slowly went down the stairs and sat down on the sofa in front of the fireplace.

What's the difference if he stays up all night? He was useless for the order anyway. So, no reason to be well rested…

When Tonks woke up the next morning she already felt sad, at first not knowing why.

But then Remus' confession crept back into her mind.

_I wonder if he's angry with me? It's really a bit strange that he's a Werewolf…but I still like to have him around. He must be feeling awful after my reaction…I have to talk to him, next time I see him,_ she thought and went to the bathroom to get ready for work.

"Morning!", a tired Sirius said, as she entered the kitchen.

"You look tired…didn't sleep well?", she asked and sat down with a cup of tea.

"More like not at all…don't ask.", Sirius replied smirking.

"Where are the others?", she asked.

"Harry and the others are still sleeping."

"And Remus?", she mumbled worriedly.

Sirius sighed, which made Tonks tilt her head.

"Not here."

"What does that mean, not here?", she asked puzzled.

"Well, he's not here. Must've gone when we were still in the living-room last night.", he answered and sipped on his tea. "Don't worry, he just has to take his time. He has to get outside then, otherwise he won't find any piece of mind. Trust me, he's fine, I know him."

"Don't worry?!", she said unbelievingly.

"Tonks, listen! I know quite sure where he is, but he needs to be alone. Don't rack your brain about it.", Sirius assured her.

"Sure?"

"Yes Tonks, sure! But believe me, if Remus wanted to disappear into thin air, he could. We didn't even here him as he went.", added Sirius and then attended to his tea and the newspaper again.

"Okay…I have to leave for work now. Send me a message, when he comes back, okay?", Tonks said.

"Promise!", Sirius smiled.

Many miles away, Remus was sitting in an old, rundown house on a dusty, mothy canopy bed.

Just as his friend before, he now laughed bitterly, thinking about how the same place he had been hating for so long, now was kind of a safe haven for him.

He stepped in front of one of the boarded up windows and looked into dawn. In the distance the silhouette of an old castle stood out against the foggy skyline, its towers looming high into the low lying clouds. As yet its windows weren't illuminated but soon they would gleam with warm light. In the foreground, much closer to him at the foot of the hill, the little village awoke and the first people were scurrying through the alleyways.

Slowly he turned around and went down the stairs.

Five minutes later the Whomping Willow seemed to be blowing in the wind for a few seconds.

Remus stepped onto the copious meadows in front of the castle and headed towards the lake.

It was summer, but in the morning it was still quite brisk in Scotland, and so Remus covered his head with the hood of his cloak.

He was only a few metres away from the lake, as he heard a noise behind him.

Reflexively he took out his wand and turned around, just to look at a big, slobbering dog, which seemed to be more startled than him.

Relaxing again, Remus let down his wand, cowered in front of Fang and ruffled him behind his ears, which he thanked him with a deep grunting noise.

A few seconds later Remus recognized two men walking towards him.

_Is there nowhere to have little peace?_, he thought, stood up and greeted Dumbledore and Hagrid.

The gamekeeper just quickly said hello before walking into the Forbidden Forest with his dog, while Dumbledore waited until he was out of earshot.

"What's wrong?", the headmaster asked Remus with a knowing smile.

"Nothing.", Remus tried to lie, looking over the lake.

"You've never been a good liar, Remus. Not even when Sirius and James had messed something up again.", Dumbledore replied.

So Remus sighed and surrendered.

"I...just needed to get out a bit...have a little space. I told Tonks what I am, yesterday."

"So?", Dumbledore said.

"Well, what do you think? She was shocked and flinched.", Remus said, watching the wind draw little waves into the surface of the lake.

"Just take your time. But believe me, she's not the one to relent quickly.", the old man said and walked back into the castle.

Remus sighed again and sat down on the gravel by the lake. Every time he was here, he was torn on the inside. On one side, there were all his happy memories of his schooldays. But on the other side it hurt him that he had lost nearly everything and everybody since then and that he would probably never be as happy again.

It was already late afternoon, when Remus walked back to the borders of the school grounds to disapparate back to number 12.

At the same time, Sirius went downstairs to help Molly in the kitchen, when the front door opened.

"Remus!", Sirius greeted his friend with a crooked smile.

"Hello.", he answered.

"Well, time to inform Tonks...", Sirius said as casually as possible as he walked to the kitchen.

"Is she already back from work?!", Remus asked nervously, still standing in the hallway.

"No, but she was worrying about you and I had to promise her I would tell her when you come back.", Sirius said and then entered the kitchen.

Remus was confused and still standing in the hallway, before he walked upstairs into his room.

At the Ministry Tonks was still working on some paper work. Actually she could have already been done with her work but she just couldn't concentrate today. Her thoughts always returned to Remus. On the one hand she felt sorry for her reaction but on the other hand she didn't understand why he had lied to her all the time.

And lost in her thoughts and work as she was, she didn't notice the little message a small tawny owl had left on her desk.

One hour later she was in her room at number 12, changing into something more comfortable.

Tired and hungry she stepped into the hallway to follow the delicious smell of Molly's food, as she bumped into Remus Lupin...


	6. closeness

**So, here it goes, the next chap! :) I hope you enjoy it! **

**As always: thank you for any kind of feedback and reviews.**

nezie: Thank you very much for your review! I'm happy you like my story so far :)

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"Remus!", she nearly whispered in surprise, as she recognized _who_ she had bumped into.

But he had only mumbled something that sounded like "sorry, my fault" and disappeared upstairs.

Great, now he's avoiding me..., she thought saddened, but her growling stomach made her go into the kitchen first.

Harry, the Weasleys, Hermione and Sirius were already sitting at the table and scooped Spaghetti onto their plates and so Tonks, still looking a bit puzzled, sat down next to Sirius.

"Is everything alright?", he asked instantly in a quiet tone, so only she could hear him.

"Yeah, well...I just ran into Remus upstairs but he cleared off before I could say anything."

"Hmm...I think he is still confused. He may seem reserved, but it does afflict him, believe me.", Sirius mumbled and then scooping pasta into his mouth.

"I know...it hurt him. I saw that and I'll talk to him. It can't go on like that!", Tonks said and started to eat, too.

After dinner she already felt much better and went upstairs into her room, to take a nap.

She had just started to doze off, as someone knocked on her door...

Remus closed his door and sank to the floor where he sat in front of the wooden door.

_What am I doing? I already hurt her feelings and lied to her...I have to talk to her_, he thought.

He stood up again, changed his shirt for a hooded sweater and chucked his shoes into the corner of the room...something he would usually not do.

He sat down on his bed, thinking about how he could start the conversation. But the more he thought about it, the more obvious it was for him that he had failed her. At least he had to try and apologize...

One floor below him he heard a door closing.

_Tonks...,_ he thought and he instantly felt a lump forming in his throat.

He stayed a while on his bed, until he eventually convinced himself to get up.

As slowly as possible he walked down the stairs, waited a few seconds, and then knocked on her door.

_Who's that again?_, she thought sleepily and yelled "Come in!", without getting out of bed and looked at the door.

_Remus?!,_ she thought surprised, as the door slowly opened.

At first he just stood in the doorframe and looked shyly into her room.

_Remus in a sweater? But it suits him...,_ crossed her mind as she looked at him and she was surprised by her own thoughts.

"Oh...I'm sorry! I didn't want to disturb you. I can come back some other time...", Remus said hastily already wanted to leave again.

_Great, now you're also disrupting her sleep, you idiot!_, he thought.

"No, it's okay, really! I wanted to talk to you anyway, Remus.", she said quickly, sat up in her bed, the blanket wrapped around her, and patted the free space next to her.

Remus tried to smile, closed the door behind him and slowly walked up to her.

When he finally sat down, Tonks already took a breath to say something but then remained silent.

Instead she shifted back in her bed until her back leant against the wall.

Remus imitated her reluctantly because otherwise it would've been impossible to look at her properly.

"Tonks...", he began with a throaty voice, which startled Tonks a bit. "...I don't know how to tell you...but all I can say is: ...I'm really sorry! I didn't want to scare you and I should've been honest with you from the start."

As he dared to look up, she looked at him with a small smile.

"It's okay...but I don't understand why you tried to hide it in the first place. Sooner or later I would've found out anyway...I mean, I'm an Auror. So why did you lie to me?"

The word "lie" made Remus flinch on the inside.

"I...I guess I didn't want it to stand in our way...concerning our work together, you know?", he mumbled.

"And what's the real reason?", she asked with a smile.

Now Remus had to smile, too. She knew this wasn't the reason, or at least not the most important one. He hesitated.

"You know, I always waited some time before I told a new member. But you lived here and were always so nice and endearing towards me. I was afraid to lose that and risk our friendship.", he admit and before she could say anything he added: "But I know it wasn't much better to lie to you...quite the contrary...I'm sorry Tonks."

When he had finished he felt tired and looked at her but she just smiled warmly.

"I'll gladly accept that, Remus! I'm happy, you told me. At least it explains your strange behaviour!", she laughed but then got more serious again.

"But I'm sorry, too, Remus...", she said to him, making him wrinkle his brow. "I mean my reaction. At that moment I was shocked and disappointed, above all by myself. I mustn't have drawn back from you."

And with these words she shortened the distance between them and took his hand, just like she did last night.

Remus stared at their hands at first and then looked back into her brown eyes.

"I'm not afraid of you!", she said smiling.

"Thank you.", was everything he could say.

"Come here, you big, bad wolf!", she said grinning and hugged him before he could've reacted in any way.

_Finally...he smells good, she thought_, allowing the thought now. _It's just a statement..._

Her arms were tucked around his neck and shoulders and she hugged him so firmly that he could feel her breast in his chest.

Thank Merlin it's still a few weeks until full-moon, Remus thought.

After a few seconds he wrapped his arms around her, too, and sighed with relief.

He gently stroked her back with his hands and lightly leant his face against her pink hair.

After a few moments the let go of each other and Remus caught himself inhaling deeply one last time and instantly missed the warm feeling.

"When did you leave, last night? I didn't notice.", Tonks asked, wrapping herself up in her blanket again, and seemed a bit saddened.

"You were still sitting in the living-room, Sirius and you. That's when I went.", Remus said quietly.

A short silence ensued and Tonks smoothened the blanket with her hand.

As she looked up again, her eyes were shining suspiciously.

_Are those tears in her eyes?_, Remus asked himself worriedly.

"I was so worried, when Sirius told me you had left...", she said with a shakily voice, not looking up.

But Remus could hear a single tear falling onto her blanket.

_She was worried? Because of me?!_, he thought confused.

"Come here Tonks, please don't cry. I can't bear the sight of that.", he said and pulled her into his arms without an hesitation.

She was leaning against his chest and sobbed into his sweater a few times, but it didn't bother him at all.

"Shhh...", he tried to comfort her. "What's wrong? I don't know you like that."

He gently put his chin onto her head and stroked her back with his thumbs.

"Well...you've got your time of the month...and women got theirs...", she mumbled ashamed into his sweater.

Then someone knocked on the door and Sirius entered the room.

_What the...,_ he thought as he saw the two of them, arm in arm, on her bed.

"Great, isn't one person enough to see me cry...", she muttered into Remus' chest.

Remus had looked at Sirius in the meantime and shook his head with a smile.

Sirius understood and left them alone again.

"Where have you been all night anyway?", she asked, turning around and leaning her back against his chest now.

"Do you know the Shrieking Shack?", he asked tonelessly.

"Yes, it's said to be haunted.", she said puzzled and turned her head so it was incredibly close to his.

Remus sat up a little, bringing more space in between them, although he secretly enjoyed being so close to her.

"No, the only one who was ever howling in there years ago was me..."

"What do you mean?", she asked.

"Only thanks to Dumbledore I was able to go to school, you know. He had the shack built and connected it with the castle through a secret tunnel. The Whomping Willow was planted on top of its end. Like that I had a place to transform once a month without endangering anybody.", he told her while she gently leant her head against his chest.

Then suddenly she sat up and looked at him in shock.

"That means you must've been no more than 11 when you got infected?!"

"I was 8.", he said sadly and watched her face reflecting her feelings like a mirror.

"I didn't know...", she said sadly and looked into his eyes.

"And you don't have to say anything now, Tonks!", he calmed her down as he saw how she frantically searched her head for the right words. "Anyway, I still go there from time to time, whenever I want to be alone."

Tonks yawned but instantly apologized in the middle of her yawn.

"Don't apologize. You should go to sleep, I won't bother you any longer.", Remus said smiling and brought himself to stand up.

"Stop talking rubbish, I enjoy having you around me.", she smiled at him sleepily.

"Me, too.", he said honestly and closed the door behind him.

Slowly he went up the stairs and ran into Sirius.

"Well then, enough cuddling for today?", he grinned mischievously.

"What the hell are you talking about? I comforted her, that's all, okay? She did worry about me. And that's all!", Remus replied annoyed and went into his room.

"If you think...", Sirius yelled after him and grinned.

Remus took off his clothes and crawled into bed.

_But was that really all?_, he thought in secret but he shook his head to dispel it.

For a few minutes he listened if he could hear anything from downstairs but eventually fell asleep.


	7. I can't

**Hello everyone! Welcome back! :)**

**Thanks to your reviews I'm so motivated right now to keep udpadting! Thank you! **

**So here it goes, the next chap, I hope you like it.**

remusdora: Thank you very much for your feedback! :) I hope you also enjoy the next chapter, which is again focused on Tonks and Remus and his doubts. But there's going to be a bit more action outside number 12 after this chap. ;)

jesstlupin: I'm glad you like my little ff :D The OC actually already appeared, but only by his name. I think he'll be introduced in the next chapter after this one and he'll play an important role throughout the whole story. I have to admit that my OC wasn't planned to play an important role at first but then I started to like him so much, I couldn't let him go again ;)

PablosGirl

* * *

The next morning, Remus woke up quite late but with a smile on his lips.

He didn't remember what he had dreamt but it must've been the first nice dream for him in a long time.

He looked at the clock.

"10:30." He murmured to himself, put on some clothes and wanted to go down into the kitchen to eat something as he met Sirius, who looked rather worried.

"Do you know, if Tonks swapped her shift?", he asked seriously. "I haven't seen her in the kitchen this morning but I didn't hear her leave either."

Now Remus was worrying, too, and so they went upstairs together again and knocked on Tonks' door.

But when nobody answered, Sirius opened it and went inside.

"Tonks? Don't you have to go to work today?", Sirius asked.

Remus was relieved...at least she was there.

"What? Oh no, I must've over-", she said hastily but broke off again and sank back into her pillow. "I've already been awake...I totally forgot. I called in sick."

Now Remus entered the room, too.

"What's wrong?", Sirius asked.

"Why didn't you tell us? We would've made you tea or something.", Remus added.

"My back aches and my belly is killing me.", she said sheepishly into her pillow, while Remus and Sirius looked at each other knowingly.

"How about I make you some tea, coz?", Sirius asked, smiling compassionately at the pile of pillows which had swallowed Tonks.

"Okay...", the pillows said and Sirius went into the kitchen.

Remus stood there, not sure, what to do, then he went over to her and sat down on the edge of the bed.

Tonks turned around and brushed a flick of pink hair out of her face.

"Hey!", she tried to smile but it was obvious she was suffering.

"Hey...", he replied concerned. "It's good you stayed at home. How about a hot water bottle?"

"Or two?", she asked, looking at him with big eyes. "One for my belly and one for my back..."

"Okay, I'll get you two.", he smiled and left the room.

When he came back two minutes later, Sirius was already by her side with a tray full of tea and toast.

"Don't be embarrassed, Tonks!", Sirius reassured her, as Remus entered the room.

"Embarrassed of what?", he asked without thinking and regretted it instantly.

_Bloody idiot...ask her what she is embarrassed of...what's wrong with me?,_ he thought.

"Tonks thinks it's embarrassing we care for her because of her strawberry days.", Sirius said.

"Strawberry days?", Remus grinned while Tonks hid under her blanket. "What's the matter? That even sounds cute! Once a month _I_ grow a fur, I'm starving for rare steak and feel the urge to howl wherever I hear music!"

This lured her out from under her blanket again and Sirius had to grin, too. He hadn't heard him talk about his condition in such a casual way in a long time. To care for Tonks seemed to do him good...she seemed to do him good...

"I actually wanted to clean up the old cupboards in the last rooms, but if you want to I'll stay.", Sirius said to Tonks.

"No, it's okay. Thank you for the tea!", she smiled at her second cousin.

He brotherly brushed a strand of hair out of her face, so it wouldn't end up in her tea, and stood up.

"Should I help you, Sirius?", Remus asked, still standing there with the hot water bottles in his hand.

"Oh no, the more I have to do, the less I'll be bored.", Sirius said hastily. "But you can look after Tonks for a while."

Winking at him, Sirius left the room, ignoring Remus' annoyed look.

The Werewolf sat down on her bed and watched her lean forward with a painful expression on her face.

"Here...it'll be better in a few minutes.", he said and put the hot water bottle behind her back.

"Here!", he said again, offering her the second one, but Tonks had already leant back and lifted her shirt from her belly.

"Hello? Remus? Never seen a belly before?", she joked and smirked, as she took it off him and placed in on her skin herself.

_Less often, than you think...and never one that beautiful..._, he thought.

"I...I'm sorry.", he said and blushed.

"You're so shy, how cute.", she laughed and put the blanket back over her body.

_Beautiful?! What are you thinking?! That's Tonks, just a friend of yours, a colleague...but a beautiful belly?!,_ Remus got annoyed at himself.

"You haven't had have many girlfriends yet, right?", Tonks asked without any prejudice or mocking. "No offense!"

Remus slightly shook his head silently.

_Damnit! You're the biggest dork in all of London, if not all of England! I should've known it would be embarrassing for him..., _Tonks thought and got annoyed by her big mouth.

"It's okay Tonks.", Remus said, sitting down next to her, and yet he looked a bit saddened.

"I'm not the easiest friend, am I?", she mumbled apologetically and rested her head on his shoulder, looking up at him with a smile.

The light shadows under her eyes made her look tired and exhausted and so did her only pale-pink hair.

He looked into her eyes with a small smile on his lips.

_He still looks so tired...and full-moon is already approaching again...,_ she thought, looking into his grey eyes, which had dark circles around them, too.

Remus didn't quite know what he was doing, as he brought his face even closer to hers, when they both suddenly were startled by a scratching noise on the window.

He immediately stood up and let the owl into the room.

Although she didn't know what would have happened, Tonks was sad that they were interrupted.

Remus however, seemed to have forgotten everything around him, once he recognized the fine, sloping handwriting on the envelope, which was addressed at him.

He actually knew what he had to expect from the letter and yet he read Dumbledore's message carefully while his face got pale and expressionless.

"What is it?", Tonks asked.

"Werewolves.", Remus answered brusquely and swallowed hard.

"I thought you would have to go back in a few months at the earliest?"

"Change of plan.", he just said because now something completely different crept into his mind.

_Why did he get so close to her? There hadn't been much more than a palm between their faces...and why hadn't she drawn back?_ Remus got a headache..._he mustn't do that...he mustn't give in to such whims, under no circumstances._

"Remus?", Tonks asked for the third time now and finally snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Just call me, if you need anything.", he said and left the room.

But not to go into his room, but to look for Sirius...

He found him in Buckbeak's room. The hippogriff cried happily as he saw Remus and started begging for food, but Remus didn't react.

"Do you have a second, Sirius?"

"What is it again? Did Kreacher-", Sirius started but stopped in the middle of the sentence when he looked at the pale Remus.

"Come on.", he said and Remus followed him into the living-room. The Weasleys and Harry had gone to Diagon Alley and so they could talk freely.

Sirius knew the look on Remus' face and was glad, if he didn't see it too often because it always meant that he had serious problems. At least in his eyes...

"Shoot!", Sirius said quickly, so Remus wouldn't change his mind about telling him.

But it was already too late.

"I don't know, I don't want to bother you with it, Padfoot.", Remus said nervously.

"Come on Remus, the last time you looked like this was in year seven. And it was because Sarah Crawler had told you she had a crush on you.", Sirius tried to ease the situation.

But as he saw, how Remus flinched, his jaw dropped.

"Shut your mouth, Padfoot!", Remus said annoyed.

"It's about a _woman_?!", he asked and stressed the word woman unbelievingly.

He tilted his head, looking like the dog he transformed into.

"I wouldn't have a problem if it was about some random woman!", Remus hissed, ran his fingers through his hair and started to walk up and down the room.

"Huh?", Sirius said completely confused.

Remus stopped, rubbed his face and growled out of despair.

_If I tell Sirius, there's no way back. I won't be able to bury it inside me...but he's my best friend, if I can't talk to him...to who else?_, Remus thought and let his hands sink down again.

"Sirius, I have to move out.", he said tiredly.

"What?! Remus, would you be so kind and explain to me what the fuck is going on here?", Sirius said, louder than necessary.

Remus stood in front of him with sagging shoulders, while Sirius looked at him in total confusion, waiting for an explanation.

"I…I got a letter from Dumbledore. I have to go back in two days. There's a rumor they might be planning an attack."

"That's not it. Go on.", Sirius encouraged him quietly and saw how difficult it was for him to talk about it.

"I don't know Padfoot…right before the owl arrived…I was with Tonks.", he said and looked at his old friend with lines of worry on his forehead.

Then Sirius facial expression seemed to freeze and the realization crept into his head in slow motion. He leant back on the sofa, not knowing if he should look serious or smile.

"So it's about Tonks…", he said smirking.

"Yes…I…she…"

"Relax, Remus! One thing at a time. You've been with her, when the owl arrived. Go on!"

"I brought her the hot water bottles, she pulled her shirt up…I'm usually not like that, you know me, Sirius!", Remus said in despair.

"Remus John Lupin, you bloody ladykiller!", Sirius laughed, although he knew exactly, that honthing that serious could have happened.

_Not Remus_, he thought.

"Oh, cut it out!", Remus snapped but couldn't prevent smiling over Sirius' joke.

But then suddenly he got more timid again and blushed.

"I just looked at her, thinking about how good she looks…", he said and ducked his head, afraid Sirius might want to rip it off his shoulders.

Sirius understood.

"Moony, I might be here cousin and yes, she's like a little sister for me. But that doesn't make her a nun…is that all?", he asked but Remus started to blush again and Sirius grinned mischievously.

"She joked about it…if I'd never seen a belly before…and guessed I didn't have many girlfriends in my life. But I can't blame her…", Remus said quietly.

"And what exactly was that big bang now, that made you all confused?", Sirius asked jokingly.

Hesitantly Remus went on.

"We were sitting side by side, she leant against me, looked at me…", Remus said and hat to swallow. "I looked into her eyes…"

"Spit it out, Moony!", Sirius said invitingly.

"I…inched closer to her and our faces were only a palm apart. Then the owl arrived and I got up…I don't know what got into me, Padfoot. It's still a few day until full moon. I just don't know, how to deal with it.", Remus said powerless and looked at Sirius seeking help.

But Sirius only asked: "What did she do?"

"Well, she didn't back away…maybe, she even came closer a bit herself…but that's nonsense.", Remus said confused.

"Why, Remus? Is it that incredible for you that a women could be interested in you? Where's your problem?", Sirius asked but instantly regretted his last question because he knew what was coming now.

"You know my fucking problem, Sirius!", Remus snapped.

The black haired rubbed his temples. Yes, he knew Remus' problem. He was afraid of commiting to a relationship, even if the woman already knew about his condition, like Tonks did. He was terrified of the idea of hurting someone or even worse…

"I can't Sirius, you know me! What if it gets worse? I can't avoid her, I see her all the time! She smiles at me, I can smell her…a few days ago I had to close my eyes because she was walking up the stairs in front of me!"

"Not too many details, please. The little sister thing, remember?", Sirius interrupted him, smiling about Remus being so upset by totally normal things.

"Sorry…", Remus mumbled.

They both were silent for a few moments because Sirius knew, that Remus would deny anything he actually wanted to say.

"Take your time, Moony. You'll be gone for more than a week in a few days. Enough time to mull over it. Just try to find out what you want and what you actually would deserve.", Sirius said calmly.

"I'll do that…thank you Sirius, for everything!", Remus said quietly and patted his shoulder.

"What? Bullshit. If you move out, I'm lost! I'm only aiming for my own benefit.", Sirius joked and smiled with his friend.

Then suddenly Tonks' voice came down from upstairs: "Remus, do you have a minute?"


	8. news

**Hello everyone! :) **

**I'm back with the next chap! It's quite short, I know, but I already translated the next two chaps, so you won't have to wait too long.**

**I realized I used the direct speech incorrectly and mixed it up with the direct speech of my first language, whoopsie ;) **

**I'll try to revise the recent chapters as quickly as possible and I hope it didn't confuse you too much. **

**But now, have fun reading! :)**

remusdora: First things first: Thank you for your feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed the chap. I really like ending my chapters with a cliffhanger ;) I think it makes it much more exciting for the reader, at least I always feel like that if I read a story with a good cliffhanger. Enjoy the next chap!

* * *

Remus looked at Sirius in shock, as he heard Tonks from upstairs.

"Maybe she just needs something, Moony!" Sirius laughed and hoped, Remus would keep his head together.

"Yeah…you're probably right, I told her she should let me know…" he answered and went into the hallway.

"Remus?" Sirius said and Remus turned around again. "Just be you, okay? Maybe it's all not that dramatic, use the two days."

_I hope he gives in to it…she does him good, I can see that. Maybe I should just bank on the wolf inside him…_, Sirius thought and sank back into the cushions.

One floor above Sirius, Remus entered Tonks' room.

_Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm mistaken and her face wasn't even that close…,_ Remus thought and mirrored Tonks' smile.

"Hi...do you need anything?" he asked, standing in the middle of the room.

"Why did you leave so quickly?" Tonks asked.

"Iiii…had to talk to Sirius about the mission," he lied.

"And I already thought I would've run you off with my nosiness. Your private life is really none of my business, I'm sorry. I just wanted you to relax…but it backfired, didn't it?" the young auror said apologetically and suddenly looked tiny in her big bed.

"It's okay Tonks, really…"

"I've got a quick tongue, you know…" she grinned.

_There's nothing suggestive about that…,_ Remus persuaded himself.

"If you say so…" he just said and stood there a little bit lost.

"Are you busy?" she asked and looked at him with her big brown eyes.

Remus started to search his brain for any credible cop-out, but instead he just said "No!" and cursed his inner voice, which had piped up again. Full moon was approaching, no doubt.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her and before he could think about it he was sitting on the edge of the bed again.

"I'm alright. My belly's better but my back is still killing me."

"I can get you another hot water bottle, if you want," he said gently.

"No, it's okay, thank you, Remus. I asked Kingsley to send me some work…I had a bad conscious because I called in sick."

"You don't have to feel bad about that. You're not feeling well."

"Well, maybe…but I could need your advice again… another Werewolf-report. It's about a known Werewolf, who isn't registered yet," Tonks explained and looked at him. "I mean, only if that's okay for you."

"No problem, now you know…I'm glad I can help, at least something positive," he smiled.

"Okay," she said and smiled brightly.

She actually wanted to tell him that his knowledge wasn't the only good thing about him, that he was worth much more than he always thought.

But instead she went on with the report.

"The Ministry is hunting him, but we can't find him. Do you have any idea, where a fleeing Werewolf could be? And what do we have to expect, if we find him. I mean, he never did anything suspicious or illegal. But he doesn't want to be registered either."

Remus sighed.

"Well, Werewolves prefer the unspoiled countryside. Old woods, heaths…but I can't tell you what kind of a person he is or how he might react. And yet I understand him."

Tonks tilted her head, telling him to explain himself.

"You know, it doesn't seem like he wants to harm anybody. Otherwise he could've already done something. But a registration would risk anything he might have. His reputation, job or home. Theoretically anybody who knows his name could learn he's a Werewolf. His social existence would be gone…forever. Maybe he's living a normal life right now, except from full moon of course."

"Hmm…" Tonks said and looked pensively on her papers.

"But I can't exclude him having bad intentions. I just don't know."

"No…I think he's innocent. But the problem is…if he doesn't cooperate voluntarily any time soon, he'll be arrested," Tonks said and looked at Remus, who was stunned. "My hands are tied, Remus…"

He remained silent for a few moments, looking at the floor and thinking about what Azkaban had down to Sirius…

Then he looked up again.

"Tonks? Could you tell me one last detail?" he asked carefully.

"You want to know his name, right?" she lightly smiled understandingly.

Remus nodded.

"Ben Thompson," she answered and directly looked into his eyes, which instantly widened.

"He's threatened to be imprisoned into Azkaban?!" he nearly whispered.

Tonks only nodded sadly.

For a few moments they both didn't say anything, until Remus started to talk again.

"Just keep working normally. I don't want anybody to get the idea you had contact to a Werewolf. But I doubt you will catch him before full moon…I'll try to talk to him the day after tomorrow," he said seriously.

"The day after tomorrow?" she asked in confusion.

_You haven't even told her yet!,_ crossed Remus' mind.

"Yes, I'm sorry I haven't told you…but I have to go on a mission again. There's no help for it," he said regretfully.

"Just take care, okay?" she said and smiled worriedly.

"Promise!" he replied and smiled back. "Are you sure you don't need anything else? Otherwise I would go and pack my stuff."

"Do that. I'll still see you tomorrow after work," Tonks said in a breathy voice.

Remus was already at the door, when two arms wrapped around him from behind his back.

He turned around in the hug, directly looking down into Tonks' face.

He caught his breath. She was so close to him. Why was she doing that? She only met him about two weeks ago. He could feel her warmth, hear her slightly quicker heartbeat and smell her.

The wolf inside him seemed to grunt with pleasure and he felt magically attracted to those brown eyes…

Tonks looked up into his tired, blank expression, his grey eyes, which stared directly into hers.

She didn't know why, but she somehow wanted to hold him back, do anything, so he wouldn't leave.

She had the strange feeling that she had to keep him from going.

A few seconds long she was only staring into his eyes, when she suddenly noticed that her face had moved closer to his.

Suddenly the wolf in Remus drew back .

He blinked, wrapped one arm around her back and gently pulled her head onto his chest with his free hand.

"What if something happens to you?" she mumbled into his shirt, which suddenly seemed to be very thin because she could fell his warmth and also his chest hair on her cheek.

"Shh, nothing's going to happen to me. I'll be back in one piece, I promise," he said quietly and gently pushed her away from him.

Tonks instantly missed his body warmth.

"Don't worry, okay?" he said smiling and gently stroked her cheek with his thumb.

Just as if he wanted to whisk off the memory of his chest from her cheek…

She nodded and Remus convinced himself to turn around and leave.

"See you," he said and left.

"Yeah…see ya," she said as he already had left…


	9. goodbye

**Hello again! **

**I actually don't have anything to say but: enjoy the chapter! **

**PablosGirl :)**

remusdora: Yes, you are right, it's really a bit early for them to "feel something" for each other. But I have to say that my story only roughly follows the books. For example Tonks lives with Remus and Sirius at number 12, which is different to the books. And there will be some other changes, too. But don't worry, Remus will still take a while until it gets serious with Tonks ;) Thank you for your review! I hope you enjoy the next chap and yes, it will be happier again :)

* * *

It was still quite early when Tonks got up and went into the bathroom.

_Remus will leave tomorrow,_ she thought sadly. _What was that yesterday, anyway? Why do I suddenly feel so drawn to him, I barely know him…_

When she entered the kitchen Sirius greeted her with his mouth full.

"Hey there coz, how are you doing today?" he munched jolly.

"Empty your mouth, Sirius!" she laughed and punched his arm.

"Ouch! Hermione! Tonks is hitting me!" Sirius said whiningly.

Hermione, Ron and Harry, who were eating breakfast, too, started to laugh.

"One could think you are ten" Harry laughed but was happy to see his godfather so relaxed.

"I think I should leave before Sirius loses it," Tonks grinned, went into the hallway and stepped out of the front door, where she disapparated.

At work Tonks was too busy to think about Remus' upcoming departure.

Only when she held the report about Ben Thompson in her hands again, she thought about it again.

She sighed and continued with her work heavy-heartedly.

In the meantime Remus still hadn't eaten breakfast.

Instead he went to Buckbeak's room to clear his mind, because the only one who could barge in there would be Sirius.

The hippogriff nervously flapped his wings, when Remus entered the room.

He already realized a while ago that Buckbeak could feel the wolf approaching inside him, which always made him nervous.

Yet he bowed down in front of the hippogriff, waiting for its answer, which was alarmingly long in coming.

But eventually Buckbeak bent his forelegs and bowed down, too.

"Hey there, big boy…" Remus mumbled absorbed in thought and patted Buckbeak's feathered neck.

After he had thrown a few dead rats to him and Buckbeak was starting to chew away on them happily, Remus sat down leaning his back against the wall.

_I can't deny it any longer, there's more than friendship…I'm glad I'll be away over full moon. _

_The wolf's already got too much influence on me…_

_I just can't allow that, I have to distance myself from her…but it felt so good, to be near her…_

_Damnit! What am I thinking?!_

_I have to stop somehow…_

_But if I'm close to her, I feel so different…the wolf is so…content._

Remus rubbed his face with both hands.

The confusion in his head wore him out even more than the full moon would…

On one hand, he would like to give in to those whims and feelings, just to see what would happen.

But on the other hand he knew perfectly well, that mustn't do that.

He was a werewolf, he mustn't fall in love, he just mustn't allow it.

Aside from that…as if Tonks would be interested in him.

She was young, intelligent, pretty, confident…and attractive.

Yes, Remus couldn't deny it.

During the last weeks he hadn't only been looking at her face…

Why should she care about him? Someone much older, poor and dangerous.

Moreover, she was a successful women, an Auror at the age of 22.

Any connection between her and a Werewolf could destroy everything.

Her reputation, her career.

Eventually Remus stood up with a sigh and left to pack his last things for the mission.

A few hours later Tonks packed her stuff and left the office.

"Bye, Kingsley!"

"See you tomorrow, Tonks!"

The very thought of the next day gave Tonks the collywobbles.

Only 24 hours from now, Tonks would return to number 12 and Remus would already be with the Werewolves.

She pushed it to the back of her mind and apparated to the Grimmauldplace.

As soon as she opened the front door, the delicious smell of Molly's food reached her nostrils.

So she followed it into the kitchen and already wanted to set the table, when Molly interrupted her.

"Why don't you sit down a bit, dear? You just got home from work! I'll see to that, what am I a witch for?" she smiled at Tonks and turned around to her pots again.

And so Tonks went into her room for a lie down until dinner.

Of course, she could have looked for Remus.

But she didn't want to bug him all the time.

It was enough she had fled into his arms so often during the last days.

And even more so yesterday…did he notice that she had moved closer to his face?

Or did she really just imagine it?

He was a friend, he was Sirius' age…even if she felt more for him than friendship…

He was so calm, sophisticated and something about him, be it his slightly grey hair or his wolf-like, reserved movements, made him appear elegant.

Why should he care about a young woman like her? And a hectic, clumsy one at that!

The only thing he saw in her was a good friend, like a little sister maybe…

Remus had spent the last hours keeping his mind clear somehow.

He didn't want to think about all that anymore right now, he would have more than enough time for that during the next days…

The very thought of spending the next days in the woods and caves, surrounded by Greyback's, thus Voldemort's, criminal supporters, was already enough for him.

Slowly but surely his stomach made itself felt since he hadn't eaten anything since midday.

When Molly called for dinner, the whole kitchen was crowded.

In the meantime Arthur Weasley had returned from work, too, so besides him also Ginny, the twins, Molly, Ron, Hermione, Harry, Sirius, Remus and Tonks were sitting at the table.

Tonks and Remus had sat down next to each other and talked about their day, sparing their thoughts about the other one obviously.

After dinner the others didn't stay in the kitchen very long and so only Sirius, Remus and Tonks were left.

After they had cleared the table, where Tonks undertook the simpler charms, they went into the living-room.

"When exactly are you leaving tomorrow?" Tonks asked and looked at Remus.

"Around ten o'clock, I guess," he answered, looking into the fire fixedly.

"Hey, don't worry Remus!" Sirius said, instantly understanding his look. "You'll manage it. You're well prepared and it's not your first time. Only ten days, then you'll be back. Home sweet home!"

Sirius pointed at the walls around them with a sweeping gesture.

"Yeah, you're right…" Remus mumbled smirking.

"We'll miss you, Remus!" Tonks said into the silence and looked wistfully at Remus, who now turned around to her.

"I'll miss you two, too, believe me," he smiled.

"Oh yeah, err, Remus?" Sirius said hesitantly.

"Hmm?"

"Well, did you read the Daily Prophet today?" Sirius asked. "They announced they'll toughen the Werewolf-laws after this woman had been attacked in Dover…so brace yourself for riots."

"Oh…okay," Remus only said.

For a long time they just sat there in silence, watching the fire.

But when Tonks' eyelids dropped more and more, Sirius nudged her.

"Hey Tonks! Go to bed, you'll have to get up early tomorrow," he whispered.

"Wanna say good bye to Remus…not tired…" she mumbled drowsily.

"You'll still have enough time for that tomorrow, go to sleep," Sirius laughed and shook her shoulder.

"I fell asleep, right?" she asked and blushed at the thought of what she had just said.

But the two men only nodded and grinned.

"Okay, okay…" she said yawning and stood up.

But before she left the room she hugged the two men from behind over the backrest, which made Remus blush a little.

Only a few minutes later the two old friends decided to go to bed, too.

The next morning, Tonks awoke with a jolt.

She had overslept and now she had lost 15 minutes to get ready.

Well, there goes my cup of tea, she thought and went downstairs after she left the bathroom.

Remus and Sirius were already sitting at the kitchen table.

"Morning!" she greeted them. "So, ready to go, Remus?"

_Ready to go? READY TO GO? Couldn't have thought of anything dumber, could you?,_ Tonks thought annoyed of herself.

"Well, I guess…" Remus answered smiling and yet appeared a bit sad.

"I wish I could've eaten breakfast with you! I'm so sorry!" she said honestly. "But I have to go right now."

At the thought of only having a few minutes left with Remus, a deep sadness overwhelmed Tonks.

And Remus didn't feel any different.

"I'll come to the door with you!" Remus said and stood up, while Sirius considerately looked into his cup as if he was looking for gold.

He knew how they felt…

"Well, I should go…" Tonks said and now she didn't care anymore if Remus could hear her sadness.

"I think so…come here," he said and pulled her into his arms.

He cautiously smelled her hair and tried to memorize the feeling of holding her in his arms.

"Are you sure you got everything packed?" she asked, when they moved apart.

"Yes, I'm sure," he smiled ruefully.

"Didn't forget anything?"

"Tonks!" he laughed.

"Okay, okay! I'm just going to miss you…take care!" she said and Remus thought he saw a tear in the corner of her eye.

She hesitated for a moment, but then she stood up on tiptoes and gently kissed his cheek.

Remus didn't know what was happening for a moment. The spot where her lips had touched his skin got warm and tingled a bit.

The wolf inside him seemed to stretch contentedly and he couldn't help but blush and so he smiled at her shyly.

And Tonks' face had goteen some colour, too.

How much he would have liked to kiss her forehead, but he controlled himself and hugged her again instead.

He mustn't allow it…

And the good feeling of being in conformity with the wolf inside him was gone again.

"Bye!" Tonks whispered and disengaged from his embrace reluctantly.

Now the tears in her eyes were clearly visible.

"Bye!" he replied sadly and watched her turn around and wave at him again, before she disapparated.

Remus sighed loudly and went back into the kitchen.

"Only ten days, Moony!" was everything Sirius said, because he knew that it hurt Remus more, than he dared to admit...

* * *

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	10. interrogation

**Hi everyone! **

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* * *

A wistful feeling overwhelmed Remus when he closed the door of number 12 behind him.

Over the last weeks this house had more and more become his home...especially because of Tonks.

He concentrated, thought about the wood glade he had already seen too often to his taste, and disapparated.

"Ey, Lupin, back again? Told ya! You come crawling back again and again. There's no life for us out there, do you get it, man?", a shabby looking Werewolf greeted him.

But he wasn't one of the worst ones, Remus knew that.

And so he only nodded shortly and headed to the cliff, which stuck out into the forest.

One of the caves in it was still empty; none of the camp beds was taken.

So he only deposited his bag and went outside again.

Maybe he could find out more about the planned attack.

.

In London, Tonks was sitting in the Aurors' office and did some paperwork, like she had been for two hours.

It was actually a good sign, if there wasn't any field work, and yet it got boring after some time.

While she organized her reports, her thoughts ran off to the night before last.

She remembered the feeling of his chest against her cheek and his arms on her back.

She had felt so secure.

Of course she also felt good when Sirius hugged her, but it was different...

And this morning...she wished she had held him back and hadn't gone to work.

She was worrying about her friend...friendship? Was that really just plain friendship, that had developed between them?

So you kiss a good friend on the cheek, when you say good bye?

Yes...

But do you feel his heart beating and a tingling sensation in your stomach?

Rather not...

The young Auror was confused but, from one second to another, she decided to find out about it as soon as Remus got home.

.

Late in the evening, Remus went back into his cave.

He had actually been happy to have the cave to himself.

But then no less than Ben Thompson himself, who had just arrived, stepped into the cave.

"Is this bed taken?", he asked hesitantly.

It was actually not common for Werewolves of different rank to share a cave.

Remus had ascended to a higher rank during his last visits, while the newcomer Thompson was still at the bottom of the ladder.

"Sure!", Remus answered and for an instant he saw the wonder about his openness flash in Thompsons eyes.

How should he start the conversation? How find out, which side he was on?

Eventually Remus tried it the easiest way: straightforwardly.

"Hey Thompson...why are avoiding the rest of us, huh?" I mean, why are you here, if you don't like Greyback?", Remus asked in a suspicious tone.

_Asked the spy...,_ Remus thought.

"Why should I have anything against Greyback?", Thompson asked, whipped around and looked at Remus in panic.

Outside the cave, around the others, he seemed to be unapproachable but in private this facade got some cracks.

"Well...", Remus began but broke off again as he saw in the corner of his eye how Thompson's hand slowly moved to his wand.

Within one second Remus stood up from his bed, pushed Thompson against the wall with his forearm and pointed his wand at his throat threateningly.

"Don't you try to shit me!", Remus growled and suddenly realized how hard he was actually holding Thompson back, while he looked at him in shock.

So Remus relinquished his grip a bit but kept pointing his wand at his throat.

So close to full moon and surrounded by so many other Werewolves, Remus' emotions often boiled over.

The wolf inside him felt the transformation approaching and wanted to surface.

.

Then suddenly another Werewolf appeared in the cave's entrance. It was the same guy, who had greeted Remus a few hours before. He looked at them for a few seconds but then he just nodded and left again. Threats of any kind were common at the camp, especially towards the low-ranked ones.

Thompson still looked at him with his eyes and mouth open wide.

Remus could see the fear in his eyes.

"Veritas!", Remus growled and let go of Thompson who touched his throat with his hand.

"Are you a spy?", Remus asked directly.

"No!", Thompson told the truth, alarmed by the words that had just left his lips.

"What do you think about Voldemort? Do you think our situation will better under him?"

"No! The giants already allied with him and nothing has changed for them!", Thompson answered and couldn't do anything but listen to the words leaving his lips by themselves.

Remus sighed.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because there's no place else I can go on full moon without anybody noticing."

"Finite!", Remus said, pointing his wand at Thompson.

The other Werewolf backed away from him.

"What are you going to do now?", Thompson asked with fear in his voice.

"Nothing, for now...I just wanted to make sure you're not a spy. Sorry!", Remus said and sat down again.

"I...I don't quite understand...", stammered the other one.

"Sit down. I won't snitch on you, for one simple reason. I don't like Greyback either."

Now Thompson looked even more puzzled.

"During the last month I've never met anybody as sceptical as you."

"Was it that obvious?!", Thompson asked

"If someone observed you very carefully, yes.", Remus said. "I'm Remus by the way."

He offered him his hand and smiled.

Thompson shook his hand very reluctantly and introduced himself.

"Ben..."

.

"I'm sorry, if I just scared you.", Remus said apologetically.

"Well, you might say that...but it's okay.", Ben smiled insecurely.

"To be honest with you...there's still something else.", Remus said slowly and thought about how exactly he could tell him...

"What is it?", Ben asked and stepped back again.

"Don't worry! No more interrogations today!", Remus smiled. "It's more of a...personal concern."

"About what?", Ben asked curiously.

Remus sighed.

"I'll just keep it simple. You're not registered, are you? I am and yes, I know what this means, but..." Remus said and raised his hand, when Ben wanted to interrupt him. "...but you should know that the ministry is hunting for you. Don't ask me how I know about it, I couldn't tell you anyway. But they are sending out the Werewolf Capture Unit to find you. If you keep refusing to get registered, they'll arrest you."

Ben had just sat there in silence, his mouth slightly opened in shock.

"I...that's impossible, Remus! I've got a job, I'm living amongst other wizards, they think I'm a nice, polite neighbour. I'm fine except for full-moon! If I get registered...I'll lose everything.", Ben said desperately.

"I know, it's risky. But believe me, if you weren't in danger, then I hadn't even touched the topic.", Remus said calmly.

"Just...give me a few days to think about it, okay?", Ben said quietly.

Remus nodded and went to sleep.

.

The next morning, it was still almost night, Remus stepped out of the cave.

He was freezing a bit and so he decided to go for a walk.

After he had thought about his conversation with Ben for a while, his thoughts went back to Tonks again.

He missed her...her and Sirius.

But it was different with her.

He missed Sirius' cheerful laughter and his jokes.

But concerning Tonks he felt...desire and he just wanted to get back to her.

Back home, to number 12.

He wanted to put his arms around her.

The urge to protect her had grown, just like the wish to feel her warmth.

And it wasn't only him, but the wolf inside him had been much calmer, too, back in London.

Could it be that his own desire blended with the wolf's one?

No, it couldn't...

Then he suddenly remembered how often Tonks had told him to take care and how much she worried about him.

And so he lifted his wand and thought about when Tonks had told him she wasn't afraid of him.

"Expecto Patronum!", he said and a big, silverfish wolf appeared in front of him, perking his ears up.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me. Take care! Moony.", Remus said to the wolf, which turned around and swiftly disappeared between the trees.

Remus, however, sighed and returned to his cave.

.

In London, Tonks, Sirius and the others were eating breakfast, as suddenly something silver appeared through the window.

"Remus.", Sirius said and his face got pale.

The wolf slowly and timidly walked towards them and eventually raised its head.

After they had heard Remus' message, the wolf turned around and dissolved into silver fog.

"Thank Merlin!", Molly was the first one to speak again.

Slowly the conversations started again and Tonks turned to her cereal again.

Although she smiled because of Remus' message, her worries quickly returned to her thoughts.

But at this moment, she couldn't know that her worries weren't unfounded at all...

* * *

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	11. wolf

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* * *

The next days went by agonizingly slow and uneventfully.

Remus was torn between anticipation of his return to number 12 and the prospect of another painful transformation, surrounded by criminal, insane Werewolves.

It was the night before full-moon, when Ben found a thoughtful Remus in the cave.

"Is everything okay with you?" he asked.

"Yes..." Remus replied. "I'm worried about Greyback's plans...and about tomorrow night."

"Hm," Ben grumbled partly approvingly, partly thoughtfully.

"From what I could pick out from their conversations, everything points to an attack," Remus mumbled and stared at the dusty floor.

"If I can do anything, just say something. I'm going to stretch my legs a bit," Ben said, not knowing what else he could say.

The possibility of a Werewolf-attack shocked him.

And so Remus was alone again, leant his head onto the stone wall behind him and exhaled deeply.

He was worried.

He now knew that there was going to be an attack, but not its target.

What if it was the Ministry?

What if Tonks was in danger?

.

Many miles away Tonks dropped herself on her bed.

Her shift had been exhausting.

She was worried because tomorrow would be full-moon...

Of course, she had never witnessed it, but she was sure Remus would suffer under his transformation.

Outside the raindrops drummed against the window and she wondered where Remus was right now.

Was he freezing?

Was he alright right now?

Did he even have any protection from the weather?

Dozens of questions crossed her mind and the fact that she couldn't answer them increased her sorrow even more.

.

Remus hadn't moved from his bed, when the next morning of full-moon broke.

As he stepped up to Ben, who was standing in the clearing with his arms crossed and looked towards Greyback, he could feel the tension all around.

"Did he already say something?" Remus grunted with a sullen voice.

"No, but he'll start soon, I guess," Ben answered.

And only a few minutes later Greyback climbed onto a huge rock and turned towards the assembled Werewolves.

"Today is the day...we will pay them back! Those, who subject us, call us monsters and want to see us all dead!" Greyback yelled and paused portentously.

And some already mumbled approvingly.

"Tonight, after we've transformed, we'll sally and finally take revenge. They are completely unprepared and that's our advantage!" he yelled and sneered. "And as everyone of us knows, Diagon Ally is pretty crowded these days...until moonrise, no one's going to move! We don't want anybody here to get cold feet and prattle away!"

.

An angry grumble rose, which clearly wasn't meant for Greayback.

Remus tried to hide his shock, and he did a lot better than Ben.

He looked around.

All around them he saw approving nods and grinning faces.

But here and there he saw a hint of doubt and disbelief, what gave him at least a little bit of hope.

"What are we supposed to do now, Remus?" Ben whispered desperately.

"We can't do anything but wait right now," Remus answered quietly.

.

At number 12 Tonks said goodbye to the others to go to work.

But before she left, she looked into the kitchen again.

"Sirius? I'll be home a little later, I still have to get some stuff. So don't worry! Bye!" she said.

"Just don't be late for the order meeting, okay? Half past nine!" he yelled after her and went upstairs to feed Buckbeak.

He was worrying.

He knew how Remus could be during his transformation, even with the Wolfsbane-potion.

"Hey there, big boy!" he greeted the hippogriff and offered him a portion of rats. "Only two days, then uncle Remus will be back! Are you excited?"

The hippogriff squealed gleefully and then turned to his meal.

.

All day long Remus and Ben were sitting at one of the camp fires and watched the sun wandering the sky with horror.

Remus suffered.

_What if the kids are at Diagon Ally as it was often the case during their last weeks of summer holidays._

_What if Tonks was still at work and had to fight the attack?_

Pictures appeared in his mind he immediately tried to suppress again.

The sky slowly turned orange and Remus wished this all would just be a bad dream.

.

At the same time Tonks clocked out.

She apparated to the Leaky Cauldron and entered the crowded Diagon Ally through the brick wall.

_Merlin, where do all these people come from?!,_ she thought as she looked at her watch. _I better hurry. It's getting dark anyway...stupid clouds. What a summer..._

And so she quickened her pace a bit and entered the pharmacy.

.

At the clearing the Werewolves got more and more nervous because the sun had just disappeared behind the treetops.

"Half an hour at most..." Remus said more to himself than to Ben.

The latter exhaled deeply.

The minutes seemed to slip through his fingers like sand.

Eventually he couldn't take it anymore either and stood up and paced up and down.

He clenched his fist again and again and his knuckles bulged whitely.

Slowly the darkness enveloped them...

.

Sirius was sitting in the living-room with a fire-whisky and stared at the clock.

Where the heck was Tonks?

But his thoughts quickly returned to his old friend.

_I hope he rides the night out...he was still so exhausted anyway_, he thought.

Then Sirius heard the front door open behind him, but it was only Kingsley.

"Oh, hello Kingsley," Sirius said nearly disappointed and looked back into the fireplace.

"Well, I can leave again," Kingsley laughed with his deep voice.

"I didn't mean it...I'm just waiting for Tonks to come home."

"She's probably still at Diagon Ally, but don't worry. She'll be back in time," Kingsley said and sat down.

"Any news concerning the Werewolf-attack?" Sirius asked.

"No, unfortunately not," the Auror replied.

"Hmmm," Sirius grunted.

.

The first Werewolves were already beginning to transform around Remus.

He heard their screams of pain and felt the wolf inside him fighting itself to the surface.

It seemed to feel the other wolves around it and Remus felt his bones deform under his skin at pains.

The pain grew excruciatingly and he instinctively fought against the transformation.

But he lost like every full-moon before and let out an agonized cry.

Suddenly everything turned black and when he was in charge of his own senses again, he got up.

He was still wobbly on his paws for a few moments but when he looked around he noticed Ben next to him.

His fur was of a brownish black and he was lying in the grass breathing heavily.

Remus nudged him with his nose and looked around.

By now, everyone had transformed.

.

Greyback, now as a grey wolf, climbed the rock again and let out a long howl and many around Remus joined in.

He himself fought against the urge to howl and helped Ben get up instead.

The wolves stepped closer to Greyback so that Remus and Ben had to follow them so they wouldn't stand out.

A long silence occurred and Greyback looked around.

Remus could feel the tension with all of his senses.

He was afraid.

What should he do?

Turn away and be torn to shreds by Greyback's supporters?

Or follow him and watch these beasts attack innocent people?

Greyback just wanted to jump from his rock and fire the starting shot, when the decision was suddenly taken from Remus.

Several loud pops were heard and about a dozen masked Deatheaters encircled the Werewolves.

They got nervous and looked for a way to escape.

"Well, well...so you want to do your own thing now, Fenrir? Not with us!" Macnair yelled threateningly and the Deatheaters lifted their wands...

.

"I'm bahaaack!" Tonks warbled and shut the front door of number 12 behind her.

"Finally!" Sirius said relieved.

"I'm not late, we still have half an hour!" Tonks protested and dropped her bags. "I'm upstairs, if you need me."

.

The Werewolves pushed closer together as they realized that they were trapped.

Then the first bright curses, which illuminated the night sky in green and blue, were the final straw.

The wolves fled in panic into every direction and Remus started to run, too.

Away, just away from here, from all this noise and hazard.

He ran and his paws drummed on the forest floor.

He had lost Ben in the chaos and he had already almost reached the forest edge, when he saw him in the corner of his eye.

Ben was limping and seemed to be hurt.

And only a few metres behind him a Deatheater had detected him.

Remus froze for a few seconds.

Everything inside him screamed to run away, to save himself.

But then he started to run towards Ben and rammed him in the side.

They both tumbled over the mossy floor and a green curse hit the spot where Ben had been standing only seconds ago.

They still heard the Deatheater cursing but they had already ran off into the woods.

.

After they had run for what felt like an eternity, they stopped for a short break.

Remus whimpered and nudged Ben again with his nose.

"Are you alright?"

"I guess...I'm not far from home, maybe we should better go on alone. Thank you for everything, Remus!" the grey wolf whimpered back and ran off eastwards.

Remus didn't move for a few moments.

He was tired, but the wolf started to run again...it didn't seem to allow exhaustion.

For Remus, everything felt like a bad dream...what had actually happened?

Everything had gone so fast and now he, or better the wolf, ran towards an unknown destination.

.

Tonks was sitting in the kitchen.

The meeting would begin any minute.

But her thoughts wandered back to Remus again.

Was he alright?

_He'll be back soon_, she tried to cheer herself up.

Through the window the full moon cast its light into the kitchen.

Sirius watched it, too, from the other side of the table.

"Well, let's begin!" Kingsley said and snapped both of them out of their thoughts.

.

Remus ran and ran...

He saw landscapes fly past him.

Hilly fields and meadows, bordered with low stone walls, small villages...

And yet everything felt so unreal and he felt as if he was just watching the wolf run, unable to control it.

He didn't knew how long he had been running already.

Did the wolf even have a destination or was he just hunted by its panic, the sudden appearance of the Deatheaters, all that noise and flashes...was he just running for the sake of it?

His paws drummed on the ground and Remus felt incredibly tired.

The landscape around him changed, got more urban.

Small alleys turned into streets and farms into residential houses.

The wolf became more careful, only trotted and stayed in the buildings' shadows.

At some point it turned into a dark street with even darker old brick buildings and the haze in front of Remus conscience rose a bit.

Didn't this place look somewhat familiar?

On and on the wolf trotted through the streets and Remus nearly doze off again, without being afraid of it.

Then suddenly, the wolf stopped in front of a dark door, only dimly illuminated by the street lamps.

It was just too much for him...where had the wolf led him?

Maybe for the first time in his entire life, Remus did something he had always rejected categorically before:

He trusted the wolf inside him, leaned against the door with his last ounce of strength and it magically opened...

.

"...until now, there hadn't been any-," Moody broke off in the middle of the sentence. "What the heck?!"

His magic eyeball had turned away, staring through the wall towards the front door.

"What's wrong, Mad-Eye?" Kingsley asked, but Moody only hissed and bid the other to stay silent.

And then, they heard it...

A quiet rustling came from the hallway and the front door fell shut almost inaudibly.

Immediately all of the Aurors took out their wands and hurried into the hallway.

Sirius followed them, but when they suddenly stopped in shock, their wands pointed towards the door, he shoved past them.

His jaw dropped, as he saw who or what had just entered number 12.

"Remus!" he whispered schocked...

* * *

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	12. home

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* * *

The wolf perked its ears up and Remus slowly looked up, when he heard the familiar voice.

Several wands were pointed at him and Sirius was standing in between them, looking at Remus with a worried and puzzled expression.

"What the fuck happened?" he whispered and looked down at him with big eyes.

Now, that Remus knew he was safe, another wave of exhaustion flooded him.

And the wolf seemed to give in to it eventually.

_It really brought me home_, Remus thought and felt a sudden rush of liking for the wolf inside him.

His eyes glazed over and Remus finally gave in to the urge to lie down.

For the first time that night he felt his whole body aching and the blood dripping from his fur...

.

One of the wands slowly sank down.

_Merlin, what happened?,_ Tonks asked herself, as she noticed all the scratches and wounds in the wolf's fur. _Why is he even here?_

It was really Remus, she recognized the colour of his fur ...and the look in his eyes.

She already wanted to step closer, when the wolf lifted its head and bared his teeth silently...

_Tonks?,_ Remus thought faintly, when he noticed a blurry figure approaching him.

But his keen sense of smell didn't lie.

She mustn't get near me!, he suddenly thought worriedly and bared his teeth without growling.

That made an impact and Tonks immediately stopped.

Kingsley and the others pointed their wand directly at Remus again.

"Don't!" Sirius hissed and morphed into the shaggy black dog.

Slowly, so wouldn't startle the wolf, he trotted towards Remus, whimpering quietly.

"What happened?" he asked like that and carefully started to lick Remus' wounds.

"I don't know..." the wolf growled back.

After a while Remus stood up and turned to the stairs with shivering legs.

Slowly but steadily he climbed the steps until he reached his room, where he exhaustedly dropped onto his bed and fell asleep.

Sirius had followed him, morphed back and locked his door.

He knew how much Remus always worried about everybody else's safety during his transformation.

.

The Aurors however had watched the scene with wonder and scepticism.

When Sirius returned downstairs, Tonks looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"What's going on here? What happened? Why is he hurt?" she asked, trying to hold back her tears.

Remus' condition had left her in shock.

"I don't know, he couldn't remember. He's sleeping right now..." Sirius answered with a grim expression.

"But...what about his injuries?" Tonks interrupted him and now tears ran down her cheeks.

"Looks worse than it is. He's just extremely exhausted and tired, that's all. Don't cry, okay? We'll see to him tomorrow," Sirius replied patiently because he was used to this picture since their school time.

"Merlin..." Molly whispered and placed a cup in front of Tonks. "Drink this dear, you're in a complete tizzy!"

Obediently Tonks drank the sweet fluid and quickly felt tired.

"Come on, I'll bring you upstairs," Sirius said and put Tonks to bed.

He went into his room, too, but he was lying in his bed wide awake.

What had happened? Why didn't Remus send them a message?

A fight between the werewolves?

Who or what had hurt him?

And what on earth could have made him return to number 12 in his wolf form?

But Sirius wouldn't be able to answer all these questions all too soon.

.

The next morning Tonks woke up around nine o' clock.

She had a day off today and already wanted to look forward to Remus' return, when the memory of last night crept back into her mind.

She jumped out of bed immediately, wearing only her pyjama shorts and oversized old T-shirt.

"Is everything alright?" Sirius asked, when she bumped into him in the hallway.

"Yeah...how's Remus?" she asked worriedly.

"He's alright, just brought him the wound tincture. But he didn't want me to help him...bloody pighead," Sirius said and had to grin.

"Do you think I could see him?" she asked and he could see the despair in her eyes.

"I don't know..." he hesitated. "You know, he's got many injuries and he doesn't like it if anybody sees him like that. Aside from that he can be quite moody so shortly after full-moon."

Sirius saw the resolute look in her eyes with concern.

"I'll just knock on his door, maybe I can convince him," she said, smiled at Sirius and went back into her room to change her clothes.

In her hurry she just put on what was lying around on the floor and so she went upstairs to Remus' room a few minutes later.

.

Remus was standing in the middle of his room.

Every movement hurt him.

On the one side it was the wounds but on the other side it was a terrible stiffness in his arms, shoulders and legs.

He put on his boxershorts and pants and then wanted to see to scratches on his upper body.

Where did all these scratches come from?

He must have gotten under some claws and teeth, at least that was the only explanation he had right now.

He was just reaching for the tincture, when someone knocked on the door.

"I'm fine, Sirius! I already, bloody, told you!" he snarled annoyed and was surprised when another voice answered from outside his room.

"It's me, Tonks! Can I come in?" she sheepishly asked.

_Tonks? What is she doing here? I growled at her and she wants to see me?,_ Remus wondered.

And when she didn't get an answer, Tonks carefully opened the door and hesitantly stepped into the room.

.

"Oh!" she said, when she saw that he was half naked.

She blushed and immediately looked down.

But Remus still hadn't moved at all.

Why was she here?

He looked at her in confusion.

She was wearing a crinkled pink shirt, a short jeans shirt, teal tights and...two different socks?!

"Should I come back later?" she asked awkwardly and slowly lifted her head again.

Only then Remus realized how he was standing there.

He hastily grabbed a shirt, which had been hanging over his chair and quickly put it on.

"N-no, it's okay. What are you doing here?!" he asked more deadly than he had intended to.

"Well, I was just so worried about you..." she admitted and seemed to be intimidated by his tone.

"No need to be worried!" he answered softer but hissed painfully as he wanted to step up to her.

"Really?" she smiled with worry.

Remus just sighed.

"You scared the shit out of us last night, you know?" she said heavy-heartedly.

"I'm sorry...I didn't want to snarl at you..." he said and looked at her apologetically.

"What? Oh that! No, no problem!" she smiled.

"I just didn't want you to get too near to me... I never know how the wolf will react..." he added.

"Remus..." Tonks said softly and stepped closer to him. "...if I was afraid of you, I wouldn't be here right now."

She gently lay her hand on his arm and smiled at him.

Only now, Remus noticed _how_ short her skirt was.

_She's young, she can wear it...,_ he thought. _And you're an old creep, who likes it..._

Tonks just looked at him for a while.

He was standing barefooted on the wooden floor, only wearing fawn pants and the hastily put on light-blue shirt.

He had only barely buttoned it up so that Tonks could still see some of his bruised skin.

And yet it attracted her gaze...

His face was covered in smaller scratches, too, and his messy hair was brushed away from his forehead.

He wasn't shaved either, but this didn't bother Tonks...on the contrary.

But when she looked up into his eyes again, she flinched because he was staring into hers and his gaze nearly mesmerized her.

.

He looked into her eyes, literally stared at her.

Remus was struggling with himself because the wolf tried to manipulate him again.

He wanted to be near her, pull her into his arms until not even a sheet of paper would fit between them.

But Remus fought against it and clenched his fists, while the look in his eyes turned into something...hungry.

.

Tonks forced herself to break the eye contact and looked down at his arm, on which her hand was still lying.

He tensed up his muscles unwittingly and she took her hand off his arm again.

"What...did you want to ask me originally?" he asked quietly and resisted the urge to embrace her...if not even more.

_Bloody full moon...,_ he thought.

The wolf inside him growled at him angrily because he didn't let him win this time, but Remus wasn't sure anymore how often he could manage to control it again...

.

"Well, I thought I could help you treat your wounds," she said shyly.

"Okay," slipped out of his mouth, before he had thought about it.

_Damnit!,_ he thought.

But she had already taken the tincture off the shelf, poured some of it on a clean cloth and lifted it up to his face.

Remus tried to smile as relaxed as possible and turned his head a bit so she could reach the scratch on his cheek better.

As soon as the damp cloth touched his skin, a nasty burning sensation spread through the wound.

He hissed in pain and Tonks quickly withdrew her hand again.

"I'm sorry!" she said in surprise.

"That's normal..." he said with a crooked smile.

After she had treated all the scratches on his face, she took a step back and looked at him.

Only seconds before she had gently touched his chin, to turn his head, which had sent a warm chill down his spine.

"You're wearing two different socks, you know that, right?" he smirked, to ease the mood a bit.

She immediately looked down on her feet and started laughing.

"Oh no, how embarrassing!" she laughed and looked back up at him.

He laughed silently and shook his head.

"Thank you." He mumbled and lifted his arms to finally button up his shirt completely, but again a sharp pain rushed through his chest and he couldn't suppress a small groan.

.

"Let me do that...you're almost falling apart," Tonks said, stepped up to him and started to unbutton his shirt instead of closing it as Remus had intended to do.

Only then she realized what she was actually doing and looked up at him, her hand still on the thin fabric.

He stared from her eyes to her hands, but was unable to say anything.

Instead he inhaled her smell again and the wolf inside him seemed to grunt happily.

And so she opened button after button until the fabric revealed a narrow strip of skin.

The wolf inside him wanted to embrace her, pull her closer and kiss her...feel her skin.

Then suddenly Remus grabbed her upper arm and struggled with himself but eventually gently pushed her away from him a bit more.

He didn't want her to get any nearer and neither did he want her to see him like that...

All this dried blood on his skin and his old, dreadful scars...

.

"I don't think this is a good idea," he croaked out and looked at her, partly scared, partly pleadingly.

Tonks understood and thought she even understood something more.

"Don't be stupid, Remus! You're injured and that's not your fault. Just let me help you," she said and smiled at him.

Remus still looked rather sceptically and so she stepped closer to him again.

"The wolf's a part of you...that's just you, Remus."

He was completely shocked.

Did she know, what was going on inside his head?

Or did she hide that she was capable of Leglimency and knew what he had been thinking all the time?

Maybe...she was just right and what he always thought of to be the wolf's whims were actually his own desires...

.

Without another word Tonks started to open the last buttons.

Her fingers were slightly shivering, when she got on her tiptoes to remove the shirt from his shoulders.

She smiled at him but Remus only closed his eyes.

On the one hand, to calm himself down, and on the other hand, so he wouldn't have to see her reaction, when she looked at his bruised body.

_Now it's too late, she'll see all these scars and all the blood and run off...,_ he thought and waited for a gasp or some other shocked noise...

"Are you alright, Remus?" she asked softly but worried and surprisingly close to his ear.

She was taken aback, when she had seen the pained expression on his face.

"To be honest with you...no," he admitted after hesitating for a few seconds, took her hand and sat down on his bed with her.

The wolf inside him seemed to throw his paw up in horror...

"Did I hurt you?" Tonks asked in confusion.

"No...I...you know, so shortly after full moon I'm not quite myself. I want to be honest with you, Tonks..." he began to explain himself, which obviously wasn't easy for him.

But Tonks only looked at him curiously and so he went on.

"If you're standing so close to me like that..." he said and quickly looked at her clothes. "...then It's just pretty hard for me to stay...calm, you know? And I don't want any full moon whims to jeopardize our friendship."

The last sentence stung himself.

_Just be honest with yourself you idiot! Friendship isn't what you want anyway..., _he thought.

"Oh!" Tonks said, smiled understandingly and blushed a bit. "Maybe it'll help you to look at my ridiculous feet."

She grinned and moved her toes inside her different socks.

And it seemed to work because Remus smiled.

But on the inside he thought, "She looks great anyway...".

"Well...that's not everything. I...don't want you to see me like that," he mumbled embarrassed looked down on the floor.

"What do you mean?" Tonks asked honestly confused and tilted her head.

_He looks great...,_ she thought.

"Well, my scars aren't the most beautiful sight," he said quietly, his eyes still locked on the floor.

"I'm not here to look at your scars, beautiful or not. I'm here to help you with your wounds and you obviously need help. What are you even afraid of?" she asked softly.

.

That you might back off from me!

That you realize you're worth much more than me!

That I see nothing more than friendly care in your eyes!

That I lose control and ruin everything...

He really wanted to tell her all this, but he didn't get the chance because at that moment a silver wolf floated through the window.

"Ben!" whispered Remus and stood up.

"I'm in London, John! I know I already owe you so much. But I need your help! They want to cage me up in Azkaban! I'm at the Leaky Cauldron. Benjamin," the wolf said with Ben's desperate voice and Remus froze.

"John?" Tonks asked and looked at him in confusion.

He turned around to her and said "Yeah...safety measure...".

Then he suddenly closed his shirt again hurriedly.

"I have to go!" he said resolutely.

"Remus, you can hardly move!" Tonks protested worriedly.

_Why does he always have to care for others first?, _she thought.

But Remus had already put on his shoes and cloak.

"Bye..." he mumbled and left a puzzled Tonks on his bed.

.

Everything felt so unreal.

Remus is hurt, but doesn't want me to see him.

But his eyes tell a complete different story...

Or am I mistaken again and it's really just "the wolf" as he says?

And what about me?

Why did I just take off his shirt without waiting for his permission?

Well...to treat his wounds, of course...

But deep inside her, Tonks knew that this couldn't have been her only motivation.

She was fascinated by this man, who had stood in front of her.

Unshaved, with shaggy hair and barely dressed.

Was she allowed to think like this?

Was she allowed to find Remus, her older friend, attractive?

To feel attracted by him?

After having brooded over it for quite a while, she came to a conclusion:

_Why not, if he felt the same way for her..._

_ ._

In the meantime Remus had arrived at the Leaky Cauldron.

Ben was sitting at a table in a dark corner.

He was looking down at the table so he was barely recognizable.

Remus slowly went up to him and sat down.

"I knew you would come. I'm so sorry, Remus!" Ben said desperately and looked at him apologetically.

"Don't worry, I know how serious the situation is. You have to do something about that, Ben!" answered Remus.

"I do...I drink," he said with a wry smile and Remus smirked.

"We should go to the Ministry and get you registered, you know that."

Ben only nodded...

.

At number 12 Tonks was going up the stairs, when Sirius bumped into her.

"Hey! I just wanted to go to Remus. Did you patch him up?" he asked grinning.

"What? Er, no. He's not here anymore."

"WHAT? Where did he go again?" asked Sirius and looked at his little cousin in confusion.

"He got a patronus from this other Werewolf. Ben Thompson, the one he had told us about on my first evening here," Tonks explained. "He needs his help because the Ministry is after him. He's not registered."

"And Remus tries to help him, right?" Sirius asked and smiled a wry smile.

"I guess so, why?"

The young Auror curiously looked at him.

"You know, Remus is my best friend I know him very well. He would never let down a friend in need. And I don't know how to describe it, but...I think it's something different with another Werewolf. If Remus trusts this Ben, then he won't rest before he has helped him. You could say he somehow belongs to his pack."

Now Tonks understood better.

That's why had left so quickly.

He must have undergone a lot with this Ben during the last weeks.

.

"Is everything alright, Tonks? You look so distant," Sirius said and tilted his head.

"Yeah...can I trust you, Sirius?" she asked and looked into his eyes.

"Sure, what's wrong?" he replied worriedly.

"It's about Remus...but it would be awkward to tell you. I mean, you're his best friend," she stammered.

They had gone into the living room by now and so they both sat down on the sofa.

"At the moment I'm your big cousin. So, shoot!"

Sirius hoped she would tell him something similar like Remus...

.

"Well, during the last weeks, Remus and I have gotten along very well. We've become friends, you know. But...I more and more feel the urge to be near him and I don't know why..." she explained nervously.

Only just she had still been so sure about taking things as they come.

But when Sirius had talked to her, her self-confidence had burst like a bubble.

"I don't want to talk you into something, Tonks. But maybe you just like him...if you know what I mean," Sirius carefully hinted.

"I would love to find out about that...but..." she said.

"But?"

"What if he laughs at me, Sirius? He's much smarter and more mature than me! Why should he want with a young, clumsy witch with pink hair like me? I can't even cook!"

Tonks looked at her cousin doubtfully while he couldn't hold back a laugh.

"You really think he would laugh at you? Tonks, I know you don't know each other that long. But I don't know anyone, who's more polite and understanding than Remus. And aside from that: how does he behave, when you are near him?" Sirius said and looked at her attentively.

"I don't know...at least not rejecting. But he's always so hesitating, as if he has to bring himself to embrace me..." she said sadly.

"I can't tell you more than that Remus is often struggling with himself. He struggles with his careless feelings; he never allowed something like that. But for the wolf part inside him there is no right or wrong, no doubts. But Remus is very rational. If he sees a risk in anything he'll rethink it ten times, especially if it affects others. Listen to your heart, Tonks, and just wait for his reaction. You are a young and beautiful witch, that can't be the problem," Sirius said softly and winked at his cousin.

"Thank you, Sirius!" she said and hugged him.

.

"I don't know if that's really a good idea," Ben said shaking while he stood in an old phone box in London.

"Got a better idea? Without Dementors and a life as a wanted person?" Remus said jokingly and pressed the numbers on the phone.

When they arrived at the entrance hall of the Ministry, Remus pulled Ben out of the phone box and he followed him past the golden fountain.

Ben had to swallow hard and looked around the busy hall.

They were surrounded by hectic Ministry workers and office witches.

Paper plane messages and tiny owls flew above their heads.

Remus looked around, too, and noticed how they were watched by several mistrusting eyes.

They were both unshaved, tired and moved in this peculiar nimble and gentle way...

But Remus was already used to these looks and didn't even regard them anymore.

Ben, however, got paler and paler.

The lift stopped, a little bell rang and a voice said: "Aurors' office".

"I thought we wanted to go to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures?!" Ben hissed nervously.

"In a moment. At first we should tell them you're here now and willing to register. Or do you want to be shocked in the middle of the Ministry because they identified a wanted Werewolf?" Remus said and dragged Ben behind him.

.

He knocked on the door and entered.

"Yes?" asked a dark-skinned, tall Auror and looked up from his desk.

Ben thought he would have seen a strange look in his eyes for a second.

But Remus had already started to talk.

"We're here to register Ben Thompson. It's not necessary to hunt him anymore," Remus explained with a calm voice and pointed at Ben, who stood behind him completely intimidated.

"There we go!" grunted an old wizard with a wooden leg and a rotating light blue eyeball.

"Good, I'll bring you to the rooms of the Beast Division," Kingsley said and eyed Remus up.

The Werewolf couldn't hide his pain completely.

Slowly the three men walked through a corridor and entered another lift.

When they arrived, Ben was again surprised.

"Ah! Remus! How are you? Haven't seen you in a while, boy!" an old man in a white gown said happily and shook Remus' hand.

"Well, according to circumstances, Jeffrey!" Remus smiled back. "I brought somebody with me."

"Ah, Thompson, am I right? They already told me you would come. Well then, let's draw some blood!" the wizard said buoyantly.

"Remus?!" Ben said frantically.

"I know him, don't worry! He's one of the good ones. I'll stay with you, don't be afraid," Remus said smiling and pushed Ben into the next room, because he could almost smell his fear.

Inside the room Remus sank into a chair.

He knew the procedure, which lay ahead of Ben.

It was quite unpleasant, but not very painful.

The worst part about the regular screenings was the exposure and the feeling of being treated like an animal...and to be one in other people's eyes.

But Jeffrey made it much easier for him...and he always had.

He knew Remus since his parents had come to him, completely devastated and desperate, over 20 years ago.

For Remus, he was something like a mentor.

He had never seen him as a beast, only as a patient.

Remus had learnt to trust him and thus didn't suffer from the screenings that much.

.

Ben, however, didn't know all this by now.

He flinched, when Jeffrey drew his blood and often turned around to Remus, as if he wanted to make sure everything was alright.

When Ben had come through the whole procedure and apparated home with Remus, a bad conscience overwhelmed Remus.

He knew that the registration had been the only option for him.

But when all his neighbours greeted Ben friendly and told him to get well soon, Remus realized that all this could soon be over.

They both exhaustedly sat down in his small flat.

Ben was covered in smaller and bigger scratches and bruises, too, but Jeffrey had already treated them.

.

"Thank you, Remus!" I don't know what else I could say..." Ben smiled.

"You're welcome. I grew up with all that, so not a big deal."

"I'm not only talking about today...until you approached me at the pack, I thought I would be alone with my scepticism. I always waited for somebody to lynch me. And last night you saved my life! If it were not for you, I would still be hiding somewhere or already sitting in Azkaban. I owe you, a lot," said Ben quietly and Remus could hear the gratefulness in his voice.

"It's good to know that there's still hope. I'll take you back on your offer someday," he answered and closed his eyes.

"I hope so!" Ben laughed. "Is everything okay with you? I mean, I had over a week to watch you and I feel like something's worrying you. Maybe I can give you some advice."

He looked at him, motivated to return the favour as soon as possible.

"I'm just a bit confused about...my feelings," Remus said honestly.

"A woman, right?" he smirked.

"Yeah..." Remus said and raised one eye brow.

"Well, I don't know what else could bother an outsider who has to camp in the woods surrounded by criminals," Ben grinned. "What's the problem exactly?"

"It's one big problem in general! You know, we got to know each other during the last weeks and became friends. And on top of that she's got a good job, is successful and any connection with me could risk that. Aaand I'm much older and she's just gorgeous. I'm dangerous, I could hurt her...or even worse..." Remus explained and looked at Ben thoughtfully. "All in all: I'm a Werewolf."

"I understand...but let's just assume she knows what you are and honestly returns your feelings...then the rest won't be an obstacle for her," Ben explained as if he was talking about tying your shoes.

"Hmph..." Remus grunted and looked at the clock.

It was already half past five.

"I think I should go home...I still haven't treated my wounds."

"Well, it's about time, then," Ben said. "Thank you, Remus!"

They friendly embraced each other and Remus disapparated.


	13. hint

**Hello again! I'm back with the next chapter! **

**And yes, it's going to be much more Remus/Dora-ish this time. **

**I hope you enjoy it! **

**Leave a comment, if you did :)**

PablosGirl

Is A Bell X3: Well, in this chapter they'll get a bit closer again ;) I hope you like it and I promise to update soon!

remusdora: Don't worry, this chapter they will get closer again. But I'm afraid it will take a while and some more drama until they are really together. ;) I hope, you enjoy!

* * *

When Remus arrived back at number 12 he immediately bumped into Sirius.

"I was-" he already wanted to explain exhaustedly, but Sirius interrupted him.

"Tonks already told me. And it obviously went well, unless you wouldn't be here, right?" Sirius smiled. "Go upstairs and get some rest, Remus!"

The Werewolf just nodded and slowly went up the stairs.

But when he opened the door to his room there was already somebody waiting for him...

.

"Tonks?" he asked surprised.

She lifted her head and smiled at Remus, who melted away again on the inside.

"I wanted to look after your bruises before I go to bed," she said, determined to watch his reactions carefully.

"Okay..." he said shyly.

_Why not? Why shouldn't she see him like that?_

_At least it would end her potential crush on him..._

.

He slowly stepped up to her and began to open his shirt with shivering fingers.

But one button still refused to be opened even after Remus' third try and so Tonks smirked and stood up.

"And I always thought I was the scatty one in this house."

Remus let his arms sink in exhaustion and watched Tonks' small hand open the last button with ease.

He felt her fingers through the thin cotton and got goose bumps.

The wolf inside him woke up again, but something had changed...

She slowly walked around him, took the shirt from his shoulders and hung it over the chair.

Remus didn't turn his eyes off her for a second and he was shivering, although he wasn't cold.

She had looked at his scarred chest without flinching.

_How could that be?,_ he asked himself.

.

"This looks bad! You should've better looked after it earlier!" Tonks said looking at his body.

Quickly Remus looked down.

_I knew it, why did I even think she wouldn't mind? Even in near darkness this looks awful..._, he thought.

When Tonks noticed him biting his lip, she quickly shortened the distance between them.

"I'm sorry Remus, I didn't mean it! Really!" she explained and lifted his chin so he had to look at her.

A rueful smile had spread across his lips and he said "I can't blame you, Tonks".

The wolf seemed to let its tail droop and lowered its head...

"Don't be stupid, Remus! I meant the scratches and bruises. If they're not treated soon, they are going to become inflamed. What's the matter anyway, I mean..." she said softly and Remus looked up with knitted eyebrows.

_What does she mean...could she...no...,_ he thought confused.

The wolf slowly lifted its head again...

"You've got many scars, yes. I can't deny that," she smiled.

_Mental slap number one...,_ Remus thought but kept looking into her eyes.

"And there are probably Infere which look healthier than you", she nearly laughed.

_Number two..._, he thought but had to smile at the same time.

He knew she didn't mean it and a strange warm feeling rushed through his body.

"But if you want to hear my opinion as a woman..." Tonks said and now she was the one to get nervous. "...then you should know...that you are more attractive than you think."

.

What the...?

He knitted his brows and looked at her as if she was crazy, while the wolf seemed to do somersaults inside him.

"Don't look at me like that!" she said and blushed. "So what? I think you are handsome...and I've seen men with less brawn...okay, maybe you are just way too thin, but..." Tonks mumbled and looked down, twiddling with her fingers.

"Are you kidding me?" was the only thing Remus could say.

She wasn't really telling him she found him attractive right now, was she?

Tonks looked up at him in surprise and saw that he really didn't believe her.

"No! I mean...you are tall...well-built...in general..." Tonks stuttered and her face had turned tomato-red by now.

"You really mean it, right?" Remus asked and had to smile as he saw her more than healthy complexion.

"Yes, why don't you just believe me? Instead I'm talking myself into trouble like a bloody idiot..." she said and looked at him again.

.

His cheeks had reddened, too, but he honestly smiled at her and sighed.

"Tonks...you're a young...attractive woman...you're beautiful, if I'm being honest..." he said and blushed even more. "And then you tell an old, exhausted guy who's completely scarred like me that he's attractive. Do you know, what I mean?"

Tonks had to grin.

"Don't call yourself old, that sounds as if you were 80! Just believe me...you could be more confident with yourself," she said and smiled at him. "Oh and about the scars...they can make a man look even manlier, you know."

With these words she turned away to get the tincture from his desk...and to hide her bright red face for a few seconds.

.

Remus however, was still waiting to wake up.

She really just told him all that, he couldn't believe it.

He stood there, half naked, and didn't feel the urge to hide...at least not that much anymore.

Because Tonks had just pushed that aside with her words.

Instead he nervously waited for the wolf inside him to fight for control again.

But it didn't...

Could it really be that it only got in his way, when he fought against it?

Maybe it was really he himself who secretly wanted to be touched by Tonks and be near her?

Or why else should the wolf just curl up all relaxed and wait for Remus to do the rest?

And what exactly was that "rest"?!

Maybe Tonks was right...just like his friends had been all these years.

Perhaps he should just accept it as a part of himself instead of fighting it all the time...

.

Then suddenly the burning pain of the tincture on his scratches snapped him out of his musing.

Tonks carefully dabbed the remedy on the bruised skin, trying to hurt him as little as possible.

Yet Remus couldn't suppress a painful hiss from time to time.

"I'm sorry, maybe I'm doing something wrong?" Tonks asked worriedly and drew back.

_I just want to help him_, Tonks thought and the sight of his bruised skin stung her.

"No, you're doing it very well. This stuff just burns, that's normal," Remus quickly replied to cheer her up.

"Okay..." she mumbled and carefully touched his cool skin with her left hand while treating the wounds with her right one.

.

The feeling of her warm skin on his' sent a pleasant chill down his back.

He had to concentrate so he wouldn't just follow the urge to turn around and pull her into his arms.

And this time, Remus was sure, it was not the wolf feeling this...

When she turned to his front again, Remus exhaled tremblingly.

"Are you freezing?" she asked and looked up at him with her big brown eyes.

A strand of pink hair fell into her face and Remus felt the impulse to brush it away, but she had already shook it away again.

"No..." he answered.

_Great! You idiot!_

Tonks grinned silently.

"It's been a long time since someone touched you like this, hm?" she said winking and quickly stroked his chest with her flat hand.

Her touch and her look took his breath away for a second...her warm skin had felt more than good on his bruised body.

And if he didn't err, he even let out a quiet growl.

_Is she playing with me?,_ he asked himself and didn't quite knew what to think about it.

.

_What are you doing, Tonks? Are you playing with him?!,_ the young woman asked herself at the same moment. _But it didn't feel wrong..._

Remus' deep, wolf-like growl sent a chill down her spine.

But the grin stayed on her lips and so she took the tincture again.

"I think I better continue," she said and winked at him, making herself concentrate on treating his wounds again.

.

Remus however, still stared at her unbelievingly.

Tonks, this young, beautiful woman, who had caused Remus so much headache during the last weeks, had admitted that she found him attractive, touched him and obviously flirted with him...all during the last thirty minutes.

The wolf, which had been so still up to this point, now couldn't resist anymore and made itself felt again.

_Oh no, not that!,_ Remus thought desperately, when the urge to pull Tonks closer to him and kiss her threatened to overwhelm him.

.

"That's it!" she said only one second later, gave him a beaming smile and offered him his shirt.

"Thank you!" he said shyly and put the shirt back on without closing the buttons.

"And I don't want to hear you say anything negative about yourself ever again, okay?" Tonks said faux-seriously and placed her hands on her hips.

"Alright!" Remus answered smiling.

"Good to have you back," she beamed at him.

"Good to be back," he smiled and gently pulled her into his arms.

_For once...,_ he thought and pulled her a little closer.

Tonks huddled her cheek against his chest and gently stroked his back with her fingertips.

Remus swallowed another pleasant growl, while she felt the hair on his chest against her cheek and just enjoyed his closeness.

She slowly but surely felt the urge to lift her head and kiss him, but somehow she didn't want to let this happen...not yet.

.

"Let's go downstairs and eat something. I'm starving!" Tonks suggested and dragged the surprised Remus, who hastily closed his shirt, behind her into the kitchen.

But to their disappointment, Sirius and Harry, Ron and Hermione were already sitting at the table.

"Well then, everything patched up, Tonks?" Sirius grinned blatantly at the two.

They both blushed instantly and quickly turned to the kitchen counter to get some food.

Ron and Harry just looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and continued playing Exploding Snap, while Hermione watched the two adults a bit longer.

.

"Enjoy your last holidays, you won't have that much time to sit around soon," Remus said with a crooked smile to cover up Tonks' still reddened cheeks.

"Just because you always buried yourself under books, doesn't mean that others have to do so, too, Moony!" Sirius grinned and Hermione blushed.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, Hermione. At least you went to the ball last year. Our Mister Lupin here weaselled himself out of it," Sirius explained casually.

"There was a Trimagic Tournament during your school time? You never told us about that," Ron said and Harry dropped the idea of finishing the game.

Remus started to cough and sent Sirius a nasty look.

Tonks had leant back in her chair and waited smiling for Sirius to tell the story.

"Yes, yes...our Remus has always been a bit shy. But we had no Tournament; Dumbledore just got the idea to host a Halloween Ball. We even had to take dancing lessons. And Remus did pretty well, to be honest..." Sirius told them and his grin got outrageously wide.

"That's why you did so well on Harry's birthday party!" Tonks laughed.

"Go on, laugh about a poor little Werewolf," he smirked and leant back in his chair, too.

Even Sirius' mocking couldn't drag him down today, not after what had just happened between Tonks and him.

"And how did he manage to cop out, then?" Ron asked curiously and now even Hermione looked up from her book.

"I don't know, maybe you should hope for Remus' grace and let him finish the story," Sirius laughed barking.

.

Remus sighed, when five grinning faces looked at him.

"Okay, okay...I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but I'm a halfblood. My father is a muggle-born and my grandmother taught me to play the piano. And because they needed a half-decent pianist for the evening, I gladly volunteered. That's how I prevented embarrassing me on the dance floor," Remus said.

"Why should anybody learn to play the piano, if you could just enchant it to play on its own?" Ron asked confused.

"Well, I could convince Dumbledore it would look much better if someone actually played it," Remus said grinning.

"For Muggles it's a talent to play an instrument," Hermione added.

They still sat in the kitchen together for quite a while and chatted and laughed, before one after another, the exhausted Remus as the first one, left the kitchen to go to bed.

And the look he gave Tonks before he left the room reminded Sirius of the old Remus he hadn't seen for a long time.

The Remus of their time as Marauders.

Of Moony...


	14. discovery

**Hey there! **

**I decided to upload another chapter today, because you liked the last one so much! :)**

**It's not romantic or fluffy, but in this chapter something very, very important happens! **

**But don't worry, the next double-chapter will be all about Tonks' and Remus' feelings again :3 So stay tuned!**

**I hope you enjoy! Leave a review if you did...or if you didn't. **

** PablosGirl**

Is A Bell X3: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it :) I'm afraid the fluff will have to wait a bit, but later on there will be more little fluffy Dora/Remus moments

remusdora: Am I repetitive, if I say thank you for reviewing again? ;) I really appreciate it. Yes, it will change things between them but I'm afraid there are many "Oh god Remus, what are you doing?!"-moments ahead of you. Did I make you curious? ;)

danadanaBATMAN: Welcome to my little story and thank you very much for your feedback! By the way, is your name Dana? Your username is great! :D

* * *

The rest of the summer holidays quickly went by.

So did Tonks' week because she worked all day and fell into her bed tiredly every evening.

And so she didn't have much time to spend with Remus...especially not in private...

Remus however, spent much of his time with Ben.

He had confessed his secret to his landlord and his boss and they both were shocked, but didn't throw him out, at least until he would cause any problems...

.

And so the first day of the school year broke and the six teenagers bustled about number 12 to collect all of their stuff.

Fred and George however did everything so Molly wouldn't look into their cases...

"Morning..." mumble Remus when he sat down at the kitchen table.

"Got late again with Ben, huh?" Sirius grinned mischievously. "We want to get to know your husband-to-be, too!"

Tonks grinned, but a tiny part of her secretly hoped for Remus not to react suspiciously embarrassed.

"Yes, we hadn't finished the china painting and origami, yet...you git," Remus replied bloody serious but couldn't hold back his grin very long.

Sirius broke out in laughter while Molly Weasley darted an angry glance at him and cleared her throat.

Her children however, especially the twins, seemed to be amused by their little banter.

"You're both daft!" Tonks laughed and turned to her tea again.

"So, how's the plan for today?" Remus asked and smiled at her.

_Merlin, this smile...,_ thought Tonks and got infected by it.

"Uh, at first we'll escort them to King's Cross. Then I'll head to work and you're on sentry duty. And in the tonight there'll be another order meeting...sooo, a very relaxed day," she said sarcastically and rolled her eyes.

.

When the group, accompanied by Tonks and the Weaslys, arrived on platform nine and three-quarters, they were already running late and so everyone quickly said goodbye to each other.

"Take care, okay? Have fun and say hello to Hagrid from me!" Tonks said smiling to Hermione and Ginny.

"Sure! Have fun at Grimmauldplace..." Hermione winked at her and disappeared into the Hogwarts Express.

Well, that was odd..., thought Tonks, shrugged her shoulders and left to go to work.

.

Tonks had already been at work for a few hours, when Remus put on his cloak and pulled the hood over his head.

In the meantime it had started to rain heavily.

"Knockturn Alley?" Sirius asked him bitterly.

Remus just nodded.

"Take care, okay?"

"Sure," Remus said and left.

He apparated to the Leaky Cauldron and instantly several eyes were on him.

A quiet whispering began when Remus didn't take off his hood and just left into the backyard.

And it wasn't much different outside in Diagon Alley.

Everyone was hurrying to get out of the bad weather in into the next shop, but as soon as they noticed the hooded figure they gave him sneaking looks.

Most people knew where someone like him was heading towards.

.

When he arrived at the corner of Knockturn Alley, Remus took a deep breath and looked into the dark, narrow street in front of him.

It wasn't busy, even the dodgiest guys seemed to avoid the rain.

And so Remus slowly walked down the Alley, his hood pulled down into his face and his hand on his wand in his pocket, always ready to defend himself.

He wandered from window to window to look unsuspicious but the touted articles such as Vampire-teeth or Werewolf-paws made him cringe.

But when he looked through the window of Borgin&Burke's his heart skipped a beat because of something very different.

_That's just not possible_, he thought and stopped.

.

"Hey Sirius..." mumbled Tonks exhausted and let herself sink on the couch next to her cousin.

"Stressful day?" he asked and looked up from the newspaper he was reading.

"Hmmm..." she grunted.

"Molly will make dinner. Most of the members will eat here tonight. They should be here soon."

Tonks only mumbled something incomprehensible and went upstairs into her room.

She hung her dripping cloak over a hook on the door and dried it with a spell.

Thank Merlin it's Friday, she thought, not knowing what this evening would still bring.

.

It had to be him.

Remus could smell him, even here in front of the shop.

He constrained himself to keep calm but clenched his fists and looked at the clock.

Only half an hour more to bear...

He tried to understand what was said inside the shop but the noise from Muggle-London, which flew over the roofs, and the drumming rain made it impossible for him to understand a word.

A few minutes later the two figures left the shop.

"What are you waiting for, bloody blighter? Get moving!" snapped Lucius Malfoy at the other man as he stood in the rain thunderstruck, staring into the darkness under Remus' hood.

The man's face was slightly shaking, as he looked at him.

Keep your temper, Remus, thought the Werewolf while he took two steps towards the staring man.

He was so near to him, he could have easily grabbed him, but Remus frantically kept his hand by himself so he wouldn't go for his throat.

Instead he growled angrily.

The man stumbled back and followed Malfoy into the darkness...

.

Even when Remus entered the kitchen of number 12, he couldn't quite control his anger and excitement again.

Sirius immediately noticed and the others looked at the dripping wet Werewolf who had appeared in the door.

"Remus, what-" Sirius said but Dumbledore interrupted him.

"Ah, Remus. We've been waiting for you, or at least I did. The meeting will have to wait a few minutes longer because I have to talk to you first," said Dumbledore smiling and dried Remus' clothes with a whisk of his wand.

Remus looked at him in confusion and didn't find any answers in the others' faces either.

And so Dumbledore had dragged him outside and disapparated with him before he could've even asked what this was all about.

Tonks was the first one in the kitchen to find her voice again.

"Something must've happened during his sentry, right?" she asked and looked at Sirius worriedly.

But he only nodded with a bitter expression on his face...

.

"Albus, where-" Remus wanted to ask but broke off again as he recognized where he was.

They were standing in front of Ben's flat.

"I'm sorry I have to catch you off guard like this, but I thought it would be the best to bring him in as soon as possible," Dumbledore said smiling apologetically.

He rang the door bell and stepped back again so Remus was standing in the front.

Ben had been sitting in his living-room without a clue, when he heard the door bell.

He warily went to the door and looked through the peephole.

And as he saw Remus' absent expression, he immediately opened the door and froze.

_Albus Dumbledore?!_

He looked at Remus completely perplexed but he only said "We have to talk, Ben.".

"O-okay..." he stuttered after a few seconds and let the two men in.

.

"Err, I don't want to be rude or anything, Remus...but what the hell are you doing here at this time with Albus Dumbledore?"

Ben was completely baffled.

"I'm very sorry to bother you this late at night Mr. Thompson, but it's a very important matter," Dumbledore said and smiled at Ben.

"Yeah, okay...take a seat," he said tonelessly and plunked down into an armchair.

Remus looked every bit as confused as Ben himself.

"I think it would be the best for you to start, Remus, and tell why we know each other," Dumbledore suggested lively.

"Ben...I couldn't tell you yet, but I wasn't with Greyback's pack by my own choice. And there's a reason why I knew you weren't registered. Ben...I'm a member of the Order of the Phoenix," Remus explained and looked at Ben.

"Iiii...don't quite understand..." he replied hesitantly.

.

"The Order of the Phoenix is secret organisation. We don't cooperate with the Ministry, but we try to fight Voldemort and his followers as good as we can," Dumbledore explained patiently. "Remus is one of us. Our members are all kinds of wizards and witches. Everything secret, of course."

The old wizard nearly sounded jolly telling it.

"Remus told me a lot about you. About your reliability and views. So I wanted to meet you and ask you, if you would be interested in joining us," Dumbledore finally said.

"I should become a member?" Ben asked and looked at Remus unsurely. "But I'm not even an outstanding wizard or something like that..."

"That's not the point," Remus raised his voice again. "It's about you will to fight against Voldemort and your courage. But it's all up to you, it's your decision."

"Yes, of course! It's all a bit too much for me at the moment, but...yes. I always asked myself if there wasn't anything I could do...just call me Ben, Sir," Ben said and now looked much more confident.

.

"Excellent! Then you probably wouldn't mind us throwing you in at the deep end, would you?" Dumbledore said smiling.

"Okay..." Ben said shrugging his shoulders.

"Good...the others are still waiting for us. And we should start with the meeting."

With these words Dumbledore stood up and disapparated to number 12 with Remus and Ben.

When they arrived at Grimmauldplace he let Ben in on the secret of the headquarter and the three men entered the house.

Remus followed Dumbledore with mixed feelings.

On the one side he was glad to have Ben on his side from now on, on the other side he was still holding back his anger from the encounter in Knockturn Alley.

"I'm sorry you all had to wait so long, but now I can introduce a new member to you," Dumbledore said and pointed at the kitchen door.

All eyes were now on them, as Remus and Ben entered the kitchen.

"This is Ben Thompson!" Remus introduced him nodded encouraging at the intimidated Ben.

.

Ben shyly lifted his hand to greet them and looked around the room.

Not only Tonks noticed at this moment how much he and Remus resembled each other with their movements.

Just like Remus he had this reserved posture, while he looked at the order members.

Ben however recognized two of the Aurors from the day of his registration...and another person.

_Sirius Black?!_


	15. feelings (part 1)

**Hello guys! :3**

**Promising title, right? Don't worry, part two will be uploaded with this chap...so no waiting time, yay! **

**Although I have to say, that this would be a great cliffhanger :) But I don't want to torture you too much ;)  
**

**And again I really want to thank you for reding my story! I really enjoy posting it here and your reviews always give me the motivation to keep up the quick updates! **

**Enjoy! I'm curious about your reactions! **

** PablosGirl**

Is A Bell X3: I'm glad you liked my idea of introducing him to the Order. At first I didn't want to incorporate Ben that much, he just should've bring up another worry for Remus at the Werewolf-pack. But I started to like him so much and now he plays a very important role (I already wrote a second and third part of this ff in my language). I hope you enjoy the chaps :)

remusdora: I'm relieved you liked that Ben is now an Order member. And yes, in these next chapters there will be many Remus/Dora-moments :) I hope you enjoy and I'm curious about your review :)

pleione-x: Welcome to my story and thank you very much for your feedback! :) And yes, they will see each other much more in this chapter ;) Have fun!

* * *

Ben warily looked into Sirius' direction, while the Animagic watched him just as reserved.

"I'll explain everything later, just sit down," Remus whispered to him and steered him onto one of the free chairs.

One by one the order members told their smaller or bigger news to the rest, but Remus only listened half-heartedly.

He was just too nervous and didn't want to keep it to himself.

And even more than that...

He felt like he had to do something immediately.

And so he didn't even notice how Moody, Tonks, Kingsley and Sirius watched him from time to time.

Especially Tonks was worried.

She hadn't really seen him in days and missed him a lot.

To see him like that just saddened her.

Ben however had his hands full not to drown in all this information.

.

"Okay. Remus, how did your sentry go?" Dumbledore said and even his voice sounded slightly worried.

He hadn't overlooked Remus' mood either.

At the sound of his name, Remus snapped out of his thoughts and blushed.

How cute, Tonks thought and had to smirk.

"Yes...it was actually just the usual suspects. Macnair, Lestrange and Malfoy. But Malfoy's companion is the most important part," Remus explained hastily and suddenly had to swallow hard. "Pettigrew was with him."

Knowing looks were exchanged between the others.

Everyone inside this room knew of the special relation between Remus, Sirius and Pettigrew.

It had been him, who betrayed the Potters to Voldemort and caused their death many years ago.

And so Remus only looked at Sirius with clenched teeth, and his friend eventually understood the anger in his eyes.

.

"Where exactly did you see them?" asked Dumbledore.

"At Borin&Burke's. As far as I could see they didn't buy anything but I couldn't understand what they were talking about either," Remus explained. "Malfoy didn't suspect anything, but Pettigrew froze and stared at me, when they left the store."

"Did he recognize you?" Dumbledore asked inquisitively.

"I don't know. He couldn't have seen my face, but he might have recognized my smell. I'm sure it was him, I even smelled the rat when they were still inside," Remus said bitterly and clenched his fists again.

"I know what you are thinking, Remus. But I have to ask you to stay calm and don't do anything rash. Just keep observing. Any further steps have to be well thought out," Dumbledore said and looked into Remus' eyes.

The Werewolf only nodded silently and looked away again.

.

A few minutes later the official part of the meeting had ended and Dumbledore left number 12.

"Would you be so kind as to explain why Sirius Black is here?!" Ben whispered towards Remus, who was staring at the floor.

But when Ben looked at Sirius again he flinched because he looked directly into his eyes, which stared him.

"He's my friend. You can trust him. You can trust everyone in this room, because Dumbledore trusts them. It's a long story, I'll tell you the short version," Remus said tired and Ben nodded.

"We were best friends in school. Sirius, James Potter, Me and Peter Pettigrew," Remus said while he nearly growled the last name. "As you probably know, the Potters were betrayed to Voldemort. You know the rest of the story and their son had been living here until today. Sirius is his godfather and he's innocent. But nobody believes it. Sirius officially betrayed the Potters and killed Pettigrew and a dozen Muggles. But in reality Pettigrew blew up the whole street and disappeared into the sewer."

Ben looked at him in confusion.

"In the sewer?"

"He's a not registered Animagic, a rat. Just like James had been one. A stag. And Sirius, a big black dog," Remus explained and patted the side of the dog, which had just appeared from under the table. "This dog, to be precise."

Ben didn't know what to say and just shyly looked at the dog, while it sniffed his hand.

"They wanted to stay with me and help me during my transformation every month. Well, and now the whole world thinks that Sirius is guilty and dangerous. Nobody knows Pettigrew is still alive...that's the reason why I'm waiting on my chance to get my hands on him. So that Sirius will be free at last and rehabilitated...and this rat gets what it deserves. "

.

Ben exhaled deeply and sank back into his chair.

And so they sat there in silence until a young witch with pink bubblegum-pink hair approached them.

"Hello! Nymphadora Tonks! But please just call me Tonks," she said smiling and held out her hand.

"Ben. Ben Thompson! Nice to meet you," Ben replied shyly.

The young woman was now standing behind Remus and put her hands on his shoulders.

"You want to be left alone, hm?" she asked him and lightly stroked his shoulder blades with her thumbs.

But Remus just grunted and gestured indefinably with his hand without looking up from the black dog.

.

Tonks sighed.

Now she understood why he had been so rattled...it was all about Pettigrew.

How much she wanted to help him...

She would have loved nothing better than to embrace him and stroke his hair...

But instead she just suggested to go into the living-room.

"Okay..." Remus said and briefly brushed over her hand on his shoulder with his and looked up at her, smiling tiredly.

Even now, when the wolf was growling inside him, she calmed him down.

Ben had watched the two, just like Sirius, and thought he now knew what Remus had meant...

.

"I think I'll go home..." Ben mumbled and stood up.

He didn't want to impose on them, especially not after he had just stumbled into all of this only an hour ago.

"That's up to you!" Sirius, who had morphed back in the meantime, said friendly and Remus was sure that Sirius had accepted him now.

"I think I'll have to stomach all this..." Ben smiled and said goodbye.

"Nice guy," Tonks said, as they entered the living-room.

"Yeah, I'm happy I won't be on my own at the pack any longer," Remus said and dropped into the sofa.

"You look tired..." Tonks said softly and brushed a strand of hair out of his face without thinking about it.

Then she suddenly flinched, as she remembered that Sirius was in the same room.

"I think I'll go to sleep," Sirius said grinning and left without another word.

Remus looked after him and then at Tonks, who had blushed again.

"Are you okay?" he asked smiling.

"Yes...I'm fine," she said, smiling too, and relaxed again.

She slowly closed in a bit and leant against his arm.

_I would love to make him forget his worries, just kiss him..._

.

A smile flashed over Remus' lips.

_So she still seeks my closeness..._

He slowly calmed down a bit and just enjoyed to be close to Tonks.

She had just wanted to snuggle up to him, when he suddenly turned away.

"Is...everything alright?", she asked confused.

But Remus didn't answer. Instead he tried to sneeze as quiet as possible.

Tonks had to grin, when he turned around to her again and apologized.

"Bless you!" she said smiling and snuggled up to him. "Maybe you've been outside in the rain for too long. Didn't you use a rain-protection-spell?"

"No, I forgot about that..." he admitted.

"Well, if you continue like this, you'll get ill. And then I'll have to nurse you back to health..." she said.

"And you think now I will look after myself? After this offer?" Remus grinned jokingly.

"What's that supposed to mean, my friend?" she laughed and nudged him into the pillows while she landed over him...


	16. feelings (part 2)

**Here you go, part two and no nasty waiting time after the cliffhanger.**

**Enjoy and don't forget to review! ;)**

** PablosGirl  
**

* * *

Remus laughed quietly and looked up into her smiling face.

It was so incredibly close to his and so they just looked at each other in silence for a few seconds.

Tonks could feel his breath on her lips and see the dappled pattern of his grey eyes.

Remus looked directly into her brown eyes, which were framed by her pink smooth curls.

He suddenly felt the urge to be even closer to her, to kiss her...

Her face slowly inched closer to his and Remus' breath started to tremble.

_What is she doing?_

The wolf inside him came to life once again.

But instead of closing the gap between their lips, the wolf lead Remus' thoughts back to Pettigrew.

Even after several hours, he was just too angry inside.

The rats' nasty smell crept back into his mind and Remus reflexively turned his head to the side...

Soft lips brushed over his cheek...

.

Tonks drew back.

Oh no, I should've known better, she thought and sat up again.

Within seconds tears flooded her eyes...she just wept too easily.

But Remus' sudden rejection hurt her...

.

Only then Remus realized what had happened.

_She wanted to kiss you, you bloody idiot! And you get distracted? What have you done?_

He saw her tears and didn't know what to do.

"Tonks..." he whispered and sat up again, but Tonks just shook her head.

"I'm sorry..." she murmured, turned away, so he wouldn't see her crying, and wanted to leave the room.

But Remus was faster and held her back, grasping her hand.

_And I thought he felt the same way...how could I be that naive? As if a man like Remus would get involved with me..._

She closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to look at him.

Then suddenly his hand gently stroked her cheek and she opened her eyes again.

Remus was looking at her apologetically.

It hurt him to see her like that...and all just because he couldn't clear his mind for once.

_She was closer to you than ever before and you ruin everything, you mutt!_

"Tonks...I'm sorry," he said quietly

"No, I...I don't even know how I got the idea that-"

"No!" he interrupted her and now she looked at him.

.

_I have to tell her...if I keep hiding my feelings for her, I just hurt her even more._

_Werewolf or not..._

_The most important thing is that she doesn't think I don't want her._

_I just mustn't do it..._

_ ._

"Listen, Tonks..." Remus said and managed to steer her back on the sofa.

She had tried to hold it back, but now the tears ran down her cheeks again.

He looked at her guiltily and gently brushed the tears away.

"Tonks...I actually didn't want to tell you this. I wanted to bury it inside me and not give in to it. But it didn't work. I think you're more for me than just a friend..." he made himself say the truth.

The hope inside her rose again and so she looked into his eyes.

"Then why did you..." she asked sadly.

"There's just too much stuff preying on my mind..." he started to explain and suddenly blushed. "Besides...every time you are near me...the wolf takes action, and it was just still too occupied with the Pettigrew-thing, you know. I smelled him again...that's why I turned my head. I'm so sorry, Tonks!"

_I can't help it...he's so cute, when he apologizes_, Tonks thought and a small smile flashed on her lips.

.

"Does that mean...that you feel something for me?" she asked carefully and Remus' skin reddened even more.

"Yes...well, I'm not quite sure how to deal with it yet. I'm still trying to find out..." he admitted.

"Well, I'm not the only one then," she smiled.

All the disappointment at his rejection had suddenly gone.

"But I mustn't do this! Tonks, I mustn't fall in love with you! And you shouldn't either..." Remus said distressed.

But Tonks only looked at him in confusion.

It was just too much for her to handle.

At first he rejected her, then he didn't, and now he did it again?

"I'm a Werewolf...I'm dangerous, I would completely ruin your reputation, your career, everything..." he said sadly and looked into her eyes.

.

But she just pressed a finger on his lips, to stop him from talking.

"What are you talking about? Didn't we already talk about this? I like your nature, you're so kind, polite, sophisticated and...handsome."

The last word made her blush again and she felt the sudden heat rush her cheeks.

"Do you really think I care about what other people think? Do you think I would run around the Ministry with pink hair?" she smiled at him and he already wanted to object, but she didn't let him.

"No back talk! Remus...let's just try, please. Let's find out together. Look at me! Just forget about your doubts and listen to this," she said pleadingly and placed her hand on his chest.

Remus looked at her doubtingly, but the look in her eyes finished him off and he tried to listen to his heart for once.

A warm feeling spread in his body and even the wolf, which had just been outraged about Pettigrew, seemed to calm down a bit.

He looked insecurely at the smiling Tonks.

"What's going on?" she asked, took his hand and stroked its back with her thumb.

.

He looked down at their entangled hands with a wistful smile.

Haven't I been wishing for this all the time?

For her to feel the same way?

Although I knew I mustn't feel this way the whole time...

Merlin, if she smiles like this I just can't say no to her!

But I have to tell her, anything else wouldn't be fairl

He sighed and started to talk.

.

"I would just love to hold you in my arms right now, believe me...but I want to be honest with. I've tried to keep it under the whole time. On the one side, because I think that you deserve better...I'm just to dangerous-"

"I'm an Auror, Remus!" she interrupted him.

"If it comes to light that you're in a relationship with a Werewolf, what are people going to think about it?"

"Remus, didn't I tell you I don't care about that, five minutes ago?" she laughed desperately.

"Yes, I know...but I'm way too old for you!" he nearly begged now.

"What are ten years, if you love each other? You're only 35!"

"But I have nothing to offer..." he mumbled sadly.

"Remus, I'm a modern woman...I earn enough and what's even more important: do you see anything fancy or luxurious on me? Everything I want is a man, who makes me happy. I may be young, but that doesn't mean I haven't been in a few relationships before," she said and hoped to have convinced him for now.

She lifted his chin, so he had to look at her.

"Just let us try it..."

.

Remus smiled hesitantly but nodded.

She's right...I shouldn't always stand in my own way.

He felt like everything was in slow motion, when Tonks came nearer again, her face inched closer and she closed her eyes smiling.

Very gently her lips brushed against his and he had barely returned the tender kiss, when she drew back again.

"I didn't get around to do this...good night, Remus!" she said, still incredibly close to his face, and stood up.

"Night..." he mumbled unbelievingly and a bright smile appeared on his lips...


	17. stroll

**Wow...I'm really surprised by all those reviews! **

**Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked the chaps and I really appreciate your reviews! It just makes writing so much more fun and I'm always excited for your reactions! **

**You were all so happy about the two being together last chap, but I'm afraid our dear Remus is still a bit scared and Tonks will have to convince him ;) **

**This chap is not as romantic as the last one, but if you are looking for fluffy, sweet Remus/Dora moments, don't worry! There are plenty ahead of you in the next chapters.**

**So, I hope you enjoy this next chapter, too! I'm already looking forward to your reviews :3**

danadanaBATMAN: Ah, yes, I know that...nananananana BATMAN! :D But it would be great to hide your name in it, right? However, I like it, very creative. I just used my dog's name...my username is basically "I'm my dog's girl"...does that sound weird?!

the394thdauntlesscake: Whoa, I don't know if I'll be able to update even more ;) But I'll try my best to update daily or at least every second day. But now that you say it, I think I remember the name Siobhan :) So, no problem, as long as you like my story...and always leave a review *cough cough* ;)

jess: I think I'm a bit late with my review answer now, but anyway: I'm glad you liked it. Unfortunately some negative traits of Moony will be back with him, too...curious? Stay tuned :)

remusdora: I'm going to answer both of your reviews now ;) Yes, Sirius will do most of the teasing, but Ben and Sirius will have to bring Remus back to his senses a few times. I know, I didn't want to leave you waiting...what a charitable author I am, rigth? :D I'm happy I can keep you on the hook, it's great if a cliffhanger works out :) If the reviews keep coming and if you all keep liking it, I'll translate all parts (I'm currently writing the third part in my language). And no, I don't think you're crazy! I'm always looking forward to your feedback ^^

Is A Bell X3: Well, don't be too sure yet...Remus is quite shy and aaaalways worrying, remember? ;) But don't worry, there are plenty of sweet moments waiting for you in the upcoming chapters. And yes, I always try to keep a few chaps in reserve. That's the only way I can upload (almost) every day.** I originally wrote this story in German, my native language. So if anyone is waaaaay too curious, I can tell them where to find it in German.** Just imagine me reading this story in a German accent...no, don't imagine that, really...don't :D Naaah, I hope my accent is not that bad, but that's the great thing about writing :)

* * *

Remus was standing in a clearing, the bright full-moon above him and total chaos around him.

The place was full of wolves, which flew in panic into every direction.

They ran past Remus, some of them biting and scratching.

Screaming and howling could be heard and red and green curses flashed over their heads.

Then Remus suddenly started to run.

Only then he realized he was running on paws instead of feet...

.

In this night Remus lived through the events of the last full-moon again.

When he looked up into the wands of his friends pointing at him, he woke up panting.

He sat up in bed and wiped the cold sweat from his forehead.

After a few deep breaths he rubbed his temples and stood up to go to the bathroom.

_So that's what happened...how did the wolf find its way home?_

_ ._

Then slowly the memories of last night pieced together again like a jigsaw.

Pettigrew.

Ben's admittance to the Order.

The conversation with Tonks.

The kiss...

.

A smile appeared on his lips but at the same time he wasn't sure anymore if he had done the right thing.

Should he break the promise ha had made to himself after all these years?

Should he really give in to his feelings?

Or was it eventually only the wolf's instincts?

Remus shook his head and banned the thought from his mind for now.

At first he had to see to last moon's events.

.

_Only a cup of tea, then I'll go to Ben and ask him if he remembers the same..._, Remus thought when he entered the kitchen.

But there was already somebody sitting at the table...two somebodies to be precise.

"Morning, Remus!" Ben greeted him friendly and slightly lifted his cup, while Sirius grinned at his old friend.

"What happened? I actually wanted to visit you after breakfast," Remus said puzzled.

"Well, I didn't manage to talk about the failed Werewolf-attack at Diagon Ally yesterday because of all the confusion. And I hoped I could catch up on it before I go to work," Ben explained.

Then suddenly the scales fell from his eyes.

_The attack! Why didn't I remember that all the time?_

"Good idea...correct me, if I'm mistaken...but the Deatheaters appeared and everyone fled, right?" Remus asked with knitted brows and sat down with a cup of tea.

"Yes...I only remembered it yesterday, too," Ben said understandingly. "Unfortunately I already have to leave again, duty calls. You'll tell the rest of the Order about it, right? Okay. See you!"

Ben waved one last time and then left number 12 again.

.

"Nice guy..." Sirius said and took a sip of his tea.

"Yeah, he is..." Remus mumbled absently and stared into his tea as if he could find all the answers he was looking for in it.

"Tell me...did you have a nice talk yesterday, you and Tonks?" Sirius asked and raised his eyebrows.

Remus blushed, which made Sirius grin even brighter.

"Come on, tell me, Moony!"

"It's less spectacular, than you think. I almost fucked it up again..." Remus said quietly and his doubts crept back into his mind.

"What do you mean? Fucked up?" asked Sirius more seriously.

"I'll tell you the short version: she wanted to kiss me, I was distracted and thought about Pettigrew again and turned my head. She thought I was rejecting her. I could calm her down and we told each other about our feelings. Then she refuted all my doubts and kissed me. Then she went to sleep. And now we want to take things slowly and find out what to do," Remus droned out.

.

"So? Where's the problem? That sounds great, Remus! Why are you looking like that?" Sirius asked completely confused.

"Where my problem is? Are you fucking serious? How long do you know me, Sirius? You know, that you can't just talk my doubts away!"

"Do you want to reject her again now? You can't do that, Remus!" Sirius said angrily.

"I don't know what to do either, Sirius!" Remus said desperately and rubbed his temples again.

For a few seconds no one said anything.

Sirius knew that he mustn't go on and on right now...otherwise Remus would just close his mind.

"Remus...she does you good, I see it every day! I know you have doubts and I partly understand them. But why don't you just try it for once? Give her the opportunity to show you that she doesn't care about other people's opinions and that she doesn't mind what you are! Give her a chance, Moony!"

Sirius was on the edge of despair.

Of course he knew about Remus' fears.

If it would ever leak that he, for one thing, was a spy, and, for another thing, Tonks' boyfriend...then she would be their number one target.

"Maybe you're right...I'll be upstairs writing the report," Remus said and left the kitchen without waiting for Sirius to say another word.

_What am I supposed to do with this stubborn Werewolf?_, Sirius thought and rubbed his face with his hands.

.

Remus had already been writing his report about full-moon for quite a while.

But his thoughts again and again strayed to Tonks, who had still been sleeping in her bed a few minutes ago...

He thought about her adorable smile...and the threat he posed to her.

Her soft lips on his...and the risk she didn't seem to see.

He rubbed over his eyes with a sigh, when suddenly two little hands cupped his shoulders.

.

"Hey, you're already working again," Tonks said softly and stroked his shoulders with her thumbs.

"Hey..." he replied and looked up at her smiling face.

His doubts started to melt away again at her sight, but he forced himself to not forget them completely.

"What about a little break, hmm? Let's take a walk. The weather is great, I don't have to go to work and you could use some day light," she said cheerfully.

It occurred to Remus that he hadn't even looked out of the window once, even less gotten some fresh air.

"I don't know Tonks...we could be seen...I could be recognized," Remus tried to explain his doubt.

"So what, Remus? I just want to spend some time with you and enjoy the weather. I thought we made the deal to try it..." she replied saddened. "But if it helps: I wanted to go to Muggle-London. I haven't been in Hyde Park since forever! We could take Snuffles with us, too Come on!"

Remus hesitated at first, but then he agreed.

The urge to spend time with her was just too big and he mentally growled angrily about his indulgence.

.

"Okay, I give up. But I have to finish this first," he said.

"Great! I'll be in the kitchen!" Tonks said happily and embraced him from behind.

Remus blushed again and felt a tickling warmth rush through his whole body.

_ I have to tell her, that I can't do this. Maybe it's better, if we have time to talk outside this house...I mustn't give in again..._

.

Less than an hour later Tonks and Remus strolled through London's Hyde Park with a shaggy black dog.

The trees had already begun to lose their leaves, but Tonks was right, the weather was great.

The sky was blue and cloudless so they didn't even need their coats.

Snuffles jumped around next to them, barking happily, and startled the pigeons from time to time.

"You look like something's bothering you, what's wrong?" she asked him, looking at him from the side.

"I told you about my fears, didn't I?" Remus said.

"Yeeeees..."

"Tonks..." he said and stopped abruptly. "It can't be. Every time you're sad or smile at me, I forget about me worries...but that's not right, because they aren't unfounded!"

Snuffles slowly plodded back to them.

"What does that mean? Do you want to just stifle your feelings? And do you want me to the same?" Tonks asked desperately.

_What else do I have to do, to stop him from hiding_?, she thought.

"I don't know..." Remus said quietly, telling the truth.

For over 20 years he had managed to follow his principles.

And now his constancy crumbled.

He didn't even know how he should drown his feelings for her.

All the more ridiculous it would be to demand it of her...

And if he was dead honest with himself, he knew very well, that he didn't want that to happen.

.

Tonks embraced him and snuggled her face against his chest.

He put his arms around her, too, and placed his chin on her hair.

"I see that you don't really want all this, Remus...just listen to your heart for once. You always talk about the wolf, but I don't believe it. At least not the way you think about it. It's just a part of you, you're not possessed or anything. But anything it wants, you want, too! And I promise you that I don't give a flying fuck about what other people say. That will never be a reason for me to let you down. Just give me a chance to show that it could be fine..." she mumbled into his shirt.

.

Remus took a deep breath.

"Tonks, if my position as a spy leaks, I'm screwed! And I don't want to imagine what that would mean for you! If they'd know about us...and I get busted, then..." Remus tried to explain.

"Then? Then they would try to get me, as it already is, anyway...because I'm an Auror, Remus! I'm putting myself in danger every day!"

She's right there...but she can't imagine the scale of danger..., Remus thought and tried not to picture every single horror scenario in his head.

"Remus...this is my last try for today: I may be young, yes. I may be clumsy, damn straight! But that doesn't mean that I'm not fully aware of the risk. I beg you! Give us a chance. Everybody's in danger these days, Remus!" she said desperately and looked into his eyes.

Her hand slowly brushed over the stubble on his cheeks and eventually over his lips, too.

Remus got weak again.

"Just forget about your own rules, Remus! You deserve to be loved like anybody else...and who knows how long we still have in these dark times..." she whispered and looked at him with a little smile on her lips.

.

He didn't know why exactly, but at this exact moment, Remus left his doubts behind...at least for now.

Sirius had tried to tell him that the wolf was a part of him numerous times and that he had to accept it instead of fight it.

At least he had to try and be fair enough to give Tonks a chance.

He wanted to give her this chance...her and himself, how Sirius had said.

"Okay...as long as you don't get in any danger or trouble because of me, deal?" Remus surrendered and felt as if something heavy had been lifted from his shoulders...

He slowly tilted his head and gave her a kiss on her pink hair.

"Thank you!" she just breathed and beamed at him. "Let's go, Snuffles is waiting."


	18. autumn rain

**Hello everyone! :) **

**Here's the new chapter for you! I hope you enjoy it!**

**All I have to say for this (and probably the next) chapter: sick Werewolf + caring Dora ;)**

** PablosGirl**

danadanaBATMAN: I definitely have to find another phrase than "I'm glad/happy you liked it" :D How about this: I'm very delighted that you enjoyed the last chapter! At least your name can't be as bad as Nymphadora ;) I'm okay with my name, there are better ones, but also worse ones ;)

the394thdauntlesscake: Same goes here: I'm very happy that you liked the chapter and the story as a whole :) Thank you, I'm trying my best ;) I get the hint...upload every day, unless I'll have to please you with a loooong chapter full of awesomeness. Roger that! :D but at the moment it's no problem, because all your reviews keep me motivated.

* * *

In the evening, Tonks was sitting at the desk in her room.

She had just finished the last lines of her report and now looked out of her window.

The night sky was still cloudless and so the thin moon shined into her room.

_Soon it will be full moon again...,_ she thought saddened and tried to push the thought of a suffering Remus out of her mind.

_At least I could remove his doubts today...at least I hope so..._

_ ._

One story above her, Remus was sitting on his bed.

The walk had done him good, no doubt...but his mind just wouldn't come to rest.

He had already gone upstairs to go to sleep an hour ago.

He felt lousy, his head ached and he was completely exhausted.

And yet it was impossible for him to fall asleep...Pettigrew was still haunting his mind.

The wolf inside him didn't seem to calm down either because it recalled the rat's smell, appearance and the place they met again and again.

.

Remus secretly knew, that he wouldn't come to rest, until he had caught Pettigrew, handed him over to Mad-Eye and witnessed the verdict.

The fact that James' and Lily's murderer was on the loose somewhere out there, made him sick.

And not only him...with every day he was losing Sirius a bit more.

He was trapped in this house he hated so much.

Everyone believed he had betrayed the Potters...he, who had been James' best friend and Harry's godfather.

And everything he could do was to de-doxy old drawers and cabinets while he watched the other Order members fight the Deatheaters.

Remus knew, how much he suffered from all this...a blind man would've seen it.

.

He owed it to him...

Him, James, Lily and Harry.

And his conscience.

Tomorrow morning he would return to Knockturn Alley again.

But this time he would take one of the order's invisibility cloaks with him, anything else would be too conspicuous.

Slowly but surely, without realizing it, Remus dozed off and slept through to the next morning.

.

The following weeks were rainy and dark.

London's sky showed off its most beautiful grey again and Remus stood in the dark alley evening after evening.

Sirius and Tonks were already getting suspicious and especially Tonks was worried about the Werewolf, because he barely ate anything and was coughing in a muffled way all the time.

.

"Remus, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked him in the kitchen one evening.

"Of course, but I'll have to leave soon..." he said and grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket.

"That's the point..."

Remus knitted his brows.

"We're worried, Sirius and I. You are hardly at home, you look completely whacked and hide yourself away. And on top of that you're sick!" she said with a worried look.

"I'm not sick, Tonks..." he instantly said and nearly choked on the coughs he tried to suppress. "I can't tell you where I'm going all the time, I'm sorry Tonks..."

_I mustn't give Sirius hope and mess it up afterwards..._, he thought.

But Tonks wasn't only occupied by his daily disappearances or the cold he had coming on and ignored completely.

Remus saw it, now that Tonks wrung her hands and bashfully looked down at the table.

_I neglected her...everything I'm thinking about is Pettigrew..._

_ ._

When she noticed him watching her, she blushed and quietly started to stammer, "Remus...it's just...I know you need to take your time...I know that and I really don't want to hassle you!"

_Is she thinking...?_

"But recently...you shut yourself away and I've got the feeling...that you're avoiding me somehow..." she explained, while the blood rushed to her cheeks.

Now Remus realized and already wanted to answer, but Tonks began to whisper again.

"I just don't want to hope beyond hope..."

She looked down at her hands, so she wouldn't have to look into his eyes.

And Remus felt worse than he had in a long time.

.

As he thought he had seen a tear drop onto her hands, he was next to her within two seconds, squatting next to her so he could look into her face.

Yes, there were tears in her eyes and the sight stung him.

"Tonks, shhh! No, don't think that! I'm just...you know, my head's just too occupied by something very important. And I have to take of it, unless I'll never come to rest. Please believe me, I never wanted to hurt you! I'm so sorry!"

He carefully cupped her cheek with his hand and brushed away the wet trace of her tears.

"I know it may not mean much to you, but you just have to trust me, please. Be patient with me...and don't worry. And more than anything else...don't think that I don't want you anymore."

Remus blushed, lightening up her face with a small smile.

She sniffed once and looked into his guilty eyes.

"Only if you drink a cup of tea before you leave!" she said smiling.

Remus grinned, but did as he was told...

.

In the next few days, Remus made more time for her, greeted her with a small hug every morning and morosely let her cook him tea.

Full moon got closer and closer but he hadn't seen Pettigrew again since their first encounter.

Had he recognized Remus and didn't dare to come back now?

Had he forfeited his chance to finally catch him or was it just a coincidence that he didn't see him again?

And the persistent cough and constant headache didn't help him to answer these questions either.

Instead his poor health even forced him to stay at home on this October evening.

.

He had been trying to make himself some tea under a convulsive cough, when Tonks returned home after work.

"Hey, that doesn't sound good at all, Remus! Why aren't you in your bed? One of us could make you some tea. And why by Merlin's pants are you walking around the house in socks and a t-shirt?!" she gushed out when she spotted the sniffing Werewolf.

"You already sound like Molly! I'm old enough, I can-" he said but broke off to turn around and sneezed loudly.

"I'm sorry...I can make tea myself...besides, it was way too hot in bed with the jumper," he said tiredly with a nasal voice.

"I can see that!" she laughed and pointed at his cup, which held nothing but hot water.

"I forgot the teabag," he mumbled resigning and slouched his shoulders.

"Come on, go upstairs, I'll see to that and bring you everything," she said softly with a pitying smile on her lips.

Without any further backtalk he scuffled past her.

.

"Hey!" Tonks said quietly, when she entered his room with a tray full of tea, biscuits and cough candy.

"Hello..." a hoarse voice said from the bed.

"You're still only wearing a t-shirt!" she said, sat down on the edge of his bed and brushed some strands out of his eyes.

"You're feverish! Come on, put on the jumper. I'll get you another blanket."

Outside in the hallway she bumped into Sirius, who was carrying a steaming cup of tea himself.

Before she could've said anything, Sirius already started to talk with a throaty voice.

"So, did you convince him to go back to bed already? Yeah, yeah, I'm sick, too...shouldn't have stolen Remus' chocolate," grinned Sirius, who didn't seem to feel as bad as Remus.

"Great, now I have to care for two sick men!" Tonks joked.

"Every woman's dream, isn't it?" Sirius laughed and disappeared in his room.

.

When Tonks returned to Remus with another big blanket, he had already fallen asleep.

She cautiously tucked him in and enchanted the teapot, so its content would still be hot and fresh the next morning.

With a pensive smile on her face she sat on the bed and gently ran her fingers through his hair.

The dark circles around his eyes made him look even more tired.

His greyish brown hair was shaggy and small feverish sweat beads appeared on his forehead.

She sighed as she remembered that full moon was only two days away and that he would have to transform in this condition.

She was in love, no doubt...and it was bitter for her to see him like this.

Even in his dreams his worries didn't let go of him...

His eyes moved under his eyelids and a frown appeared on his face from time to time.

Though he calmed down every time she caressed his cheek, the peace didn't last very long...

.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting there like this.

But when she awoke with a start, she decided to go to bed.

With a last look at the sick Remus she quietly left the room.


	19. dangerous company

I hope you all have a nice sunday! :3

How about a hot chocolate and another chapter?

I have to admit that it's a bit cheesy and maybe some of it is rather unrealistic (even in a world of magic, where Werewolves love women with changing haircolours ;) ).

But I guess you could turn a blind eye on it, considering the Wolfsbane potion and the wolf's instincts...but anyway, just tell me your honest opinion, I'll appreciate it!

I hope you enjoy!

PablosGirl

Guest (10/25/2013; chap 9): Hello there! :) Since you left me a review I guess you're reading my story, so thank you very much! My native language is German and I already uploaded this story in German on another website.

Is A Bell X3: Yeah, right? Poor little puppies ;) I'll give you the link to the German version via private message because I don't know if it's okay if I post a link to another website here :) But don't stop reviewing it here, please! I'd miss your comments! *puppy eyes* And yes, I live in Germany and I often went on vacation to the Netherlands! Unfortunately I only know a few words like Poffertjes, Goededag, fiets and so on ;) So, we are neighbours :)

danadanaBATMAN: Well, I'm afraid our coward Remus will take a while until he really kisses her, but it will be nice, believe me :3 But before we get there he'll have to go through a hard time...curious? :)

remusdora: Thank you once again for your reviews! :3 Don't worry, there's plenty of awesomeness waiting for you ;)

* * *

Remus nearly slept through the whole following day.

Before Tonks left for work, she looked after the two men one last time.

Sirius' condition had worsened, too. He had picked up a proper cold, which didn't hinder him from making dirty jokes about sick Werewolves and nurses.

But when Tonks returned from work in the evening, he wasn't even in the mood for joking anymore.

Remus was sleeping again, endlessly hunting the rat through dark, dirty alleys in his dreams.

Slowly Tonks started to seriously worry about the Werewolf.

.

At the day of full-moon Tonks left work earlier and hurried home as fast as she could.

She had a problem and she still had found only one single solution to yet.

And she was sure, Remus wouldn't like it at all...

"Hey..." he whispered without opening his eyes, when Tonks entered his room as quietly as possible.

"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry," she said and sat down next to him.

The young Auror gently stroked his hair and suddenly hesitated.

"Why's your hair wet?" she asked confused.

"I took a shower..."

"You took a shower? Alone?!" she asked worriedly.

"Well, who should've showered with me?" he asked and an amused smile appeared on his lips.

Tonks blushed.

"I'm serious, Remus. You can barely stand up on your own! Where's Sirius, by the way?"

"Sleeping...he doesn't feel good at all, either," Remus answered and started to cough again.

.

Tonks sighed.

_How should he come through the transformation like that?_, she asked herself and looked out the window into the twilight.

He followed her gaze and was sure it was the full-moon she was worrying about.

"I can manage that, Tonks...it's not the first time I'm sick on full-moon," he said hoarsely, but Tonks still didn't look happy at all.

_Fair enough...,_ Remus thought.

After all, he had never been _that_ sick, when he transformed...

"I'd skip this full-moon somehow, believe me...but you know that I can't, Tonks."

"I know...but what if you need help? I just don't want you to be alone..." she mumbled.

.

On the one hand he was touched by her care.

He felt that it was more than friendly worry.

But on the other side he had a bad suspicion.

She didn't plan on staying with him, did she?!

.

"Tonks, I think I know what you're up to...but it's impossible! You can't stay with me!" he said as urgently as possible with his throaty voice.

"You're completely exhausted, Remus, you can't be alone during your transformation. And Sirius is sick himself!" Tonks tried to talk him into it, but Remus sat up and gently grabbed her shoulders.

"Listen! It's impossible! I'm dangerous! I could hurt you...infect you...kill you," Remus said desperately and Tonks watched how the look in his eyes got more and more scared.

He was afraid of what was inside him and that it could harm her...

Tonks inhaled to reply something, but Remus was faster.

"Please!" he whispered and looked at her pleadingly.

.

After he had stared into her eyes for a few seconds, he powerlessly sank back into the pillow.

Tonks eventually gave in.

"Okay...but if I hear my name, I'll be there in an instant, got that? Or if I notice something's wrong. I'll stay near your room, okay?" she whispered and looked at him sadly.

"I'll pull myself together...I don't want you to see me like that...that you have to watch this..." the Werewolf mumbled.

And yet he somehow felt relieved.

The certainty that she would be near him gave him a good feeling.

"You should go..." he said and nodded towards the window because it had already gotten very dark outside.

Tonks anxiously knitted her brows and stroked his stubbly cheek a last time.

.

The minutes Tonks sat on the steps outside his room and listened for any noise from his door, felt like hours.

She was nervous, twiddled around with her fingernails and looked at the door again and again.

If it was necessary she would spend all night on the stairs, she had the night shift tomorrow anyway...

.

Inside his room Remus tried to stand up to get rid of his clothes.

For that reason alone he didn't want her to be in here...

His whole body was aching from the flu and when he stood up completely a sudden, dull pain flashed through his head and everything around him seemed to turn and tumble.

He still wanted to hold fast onto something, but his knees already gave way and he crashed into his desk.

Tonks listened up.

Did this just come from Remus' room?

What had happened?

She stood up and knocked on the door.

"Are you alright, Remus?"

"Yeah...I'm fine...just knocked something over..." he lied.

Maybe she was right, he thought and slowly got up again.

His head was droning and he didn't know how much time he had left.

Ten, maybe fifteen minutes?

He already felt the wolf incredibly close...it wanted to finally get outside again...

Remus started to shake, because he was cold...and because he was terrified.

.

But it wasn't only him, who was scared...but the wolf, too.

_Why is it afraid?,_ he thought nervously and puzzled.

He wanted to run away and hide somewhere at the same time.

Remus nervously looked at his trembling hands and then at the moon, which appeared from behind the clouds.

Cold sweat ran down his forehead.

His bones began to deform and he gritted his teeth to hold back the cries of pain.

.

Behind the door Tonks sat down on the floor.

With her back on the door she listened to the silence.

Then she suddenly thought she had heard something.

Was it heavy breathing?

Was Remus suffering right now?

Had the transformation already started?

She didn't know...and to sit here inactively, unable to help him, wore her out.

.

Remus growled in agony because the pain got unbearable now.

And so did the inexplicable panic inside him.

Clenching his fists he uttered a single, muffled scream of pain and sank on his knees.

His view became blurred...he was unable to move and lay on the wooden floor motionless.

His mind however was dominated by this awful panic and now the wolf took control.

It wanted to stand up but Remus' body didn't obey...every single bone and muscle in his body was aching excruciatingly.

He wasn't completely transformed yet, but the beast, controlled by it panic, had already won.

Then suddenly Remus unwittingly called her name...

.

Tonks shut her eyes and forced herself to stay in her place, when she heard Remus screaming and growling from his room.

It broke her heart and she wanted to burst into the room to do something...anything...even though she didn't know what...

For a few seconds, which felt like an eternity for Tonks, she didn't hear anything.

But then, suddenly, she heard it. Quiet and yet audible.

She heard her name.

.

She jumped up, pulled out her wand and carefully opened the door.

Her heart was racing when she pushed the door open with trembling hands and entered the dark room.

At first she nervously looked around the room, but then she spotted him...it...on the floor.

"Remus!" she whispered and stared at the wolf, which was lying on the floor motionless.

"Remus? What's wrong?"

She cautiously approached him.

"I'll put you on your bed, alright? Don't get startled. I'm here, don't be scared. Wingardium Leviosa!", she said and gently let the wolf down on the bed.

Completely shocked, she just looked at him for a few seconds.

What am I to do?

He was dangerous, he could bite her.

But something inside her told her, that he wouldn't harm her.

And so she slowly stepped up to the bed and sat down next to the big, greyish-brown wolf.

Her hand gently stroked over the silky fur on his head.

.

Remus seemed to become conscious again through her touch.

Remus? Or the wolf?

Right now, Remus couldn't distinguish and he didn't care either.

Because all he felt now was the security created by her touch.

He slowly opened his eyes again to look at her.

She looked more worried than ever before and silent tears ran down her cheeks.

Tonks was just sitting there next to him, next to the beast and stroked its back as if it were a Corgi.

He didn't want to startle her, but even in this condition he couldn't bear to see her cry.

So he lifted his head very slowly and looked into her eyes.

Carefully so he wouldn't scare her off, he approached her face with his nose.

She could feel his sniffing breath on her skin and froze.

Then she suddenly felt the wolf licking her cheek.

The beast Remus was always talking about licked her tears off her face!

.

He couldn't stay upright very long and so he sank back onto the mattress exhaustedly.

But when he saw her smiling face and felt her hand caressing his fur again, the fatigue overpowered him and he dozed off with a content grunt.

Tonks was still smiling and, yes, she was somehow...happy.

He was alright...at least better than a few minutes ago.

Should she go now? Leave him alone?

No, she didn't have the heart to do it.

And so she covered the wolf with a blanket and lay down, too.


	20. morning

**Hello my dear fellow Remus/Dora-lovers ;) **

**I hope you all had a nice weekend!**

**First things first: Thank you all again for reviewing and reading my story, it really means a lot to me! Every single comment!**

**Here's a new chapter for you to overcome the fact that tomorrow's monday again. **

**And yes, as many of you requested: it's about the morning after full-moon and Remus waking up next to Dora.**

**Romantic? Yes, at least I think so. Fluffy? Maybe a bit ;)**

**Enjoy and leave a comment if you did!**

** PablosGirl**

the394thdauntlesscake: The thing with the tea is actually an interesting point! In my original version they are regularly drinking coffee, well, because where I live drinking coffe in the morning is much more common than drinking tea. And when I wrote this story I didn't think about the fact that drinking tea is much bigger in Great Britain (correct me, if I'm wrong!). So I changed it for the English version to make it a bit more...british :) But in these chapter Tonks wanted him to drink tea because he was sick. Where I live it's common to drink tea, if you've got a cold, chamomile tea for example. But you're rigth, Tonks got a bit obsessed about playing the nurse for Remus ;) And about Tonks being reckless: yeas, you're right. I wasn't quite sure if it wasn't a bit over the top that the wolf didn't bite her. That's what I meant when I wrote that it might be a bit unrealistic and cheesy ;) I'm glad you liked it anyway. Phew, I could've made an extra chapter out of this review-answer :D

Is A Bell X3: Awww, thanks for nice feedback! :3 So, here you go: a nice, fluffy wake-up scene! I hope you enjoy it!

remusdora: I hope you like the reaction scene I wrote! I tried to make it a bit more romantic after all these doubts and conversations :)

danadanaBATMAN: I'm happy you liked it. Hopefully you'll find the wake-up scene just as adorable ;)

* * *

The first pale beams of autumn sun came through the window, slowly waking up Tonks.

After a while she opened her eyes and started smiling...because the first thing she saw was exactly what she had secretly been dreaming about.

Remus was lying on the other side of the bed and was still sleeping deeply, while his eyes moved under his eyelids.

And her smile widened even more when they wandered over the man's body.

His upper body was naked, just like the rest of him.

The blanket only covered him from his belly down to his knees and Tonks had to pull herself together so she wouldn't just reach out and caress his scars.

They covered his body in more or less thin, silverfish lines.

_If Remus knew I can see all his scars...,_ she thought and remembered the day after full-moon, when she had treated his bruises.

Back then the light had been much dimmer and yet Remus had been vigilant about her only seeing him as long as necessary.

_He's so shy..._

At first she wanted to cover him properly, but he didn't seem to be freezing.

_Aside from that I'll just wake him up...and then I won't be able to look at him anymore..._

So instead she just breathed a quiet "Good morning!", more to herself than to Remus.

But he suddenly and surprisingly answered.

"Morning, Dora..." he mumbled.

Dora?!

She had clearly heard that!

He had given her a nickname...

And she even liked it!

.

But Remus wasn't awake at all.

Her words must have crept into his dreams.

In fact, he had been dreaming of her as "Dora" for quite a while now and sometimes it was hard for him not to call her like that.

But he didn't want to rush anything.

Apart from that, what if she didn't even like it?

But for now Remus was lying in his bed without any remorse and kept sleeping for quite a while, so Tonks could watch him sleep a little bit longer.

Only one hour later ha slowly went from deep sleep to dozing and eventually he awoke.

Her smell immediately reached his nostrils.

That's impossible..., he thought and tiredly opened his eyes.

But only after a few seconds he realized that the smiling woman in front of him was real.

He flinched.

_Okay Remus, everything's fine...she's dressed...,_ was the first thing that came to his mind. _But what is she doing here and..._

Then it eventually dawned on him.

_Last night was full-moon! She hasn't been here all night, has she?!_

.

"Hey!" she greeted him and his confusion made her grin unwittingly.

"What...why are you here, Tonks?! Don't tell me you've been here all night!"

"Yes, I have...something was wrong with you...I heard you screaming..."

Her face darkened and lines of worry appeared on her forehead.

But this was nothing compared to Remus.

He looked at her bewilderedly and she could virtually watch the horror enfold in his head.

His screaming had been another reason why he hadn't wanted her near him.

"I entered you room, I was careful, Remus, I promise! But you called me..."

"I called you?" he asked sceptically because he didn't have any memory of last night. "Did I hurt you? Did anything happen?!"

Now Remus was overwhelmed by the sheer panic he could have harmed her somehow.

"No! You didn't!" she quickly answered to calm him down. "You were lying on the floor as the wolf, I levitated you into your bed and covered you with the blanket. I was so scared for you..."

"I could've hurt you, Tonks...I could've killed you..."

"No, you wouldn't," she answered confidently. "Do you want to know why? I cried because you were just lying there motionless. I stroked your head and eventually you looked at me. I was so happy you were alright! You got up and licked my tears away...you didn't hurt me, Remus!"

While she told him about last night, tears started to fill her eyes again.

Remus couldn't believe what he has just heard.

She had been so close to the wolf and it hadn't harmed a single hair on her head?

It had comforted her?!

He decided that he wouldn't find an answer to all of his questions anywhere and so he sat up before the fear could take control of him again.

"Don't cry, Tonks! I didn't mean it. But do you understand now why I wanted to prevent you from being near me at all cost? Because all the screaming and my sight only hurt you!"

"But you got much calmer, when I was with you...I've seen it, Remus," she said and he didn't have anything to reply.

"Oh, and apart from that..." Tonks smirked. "Without me you wouldn't be covered right now..."

.

Only then Remus realized he was completely naked.

He was only, and by now more than sparsely, covered by a thin blanket.

His face turned dark-red and he hurried to pull up the blanket again.

_She was already awake...she saw the scars..._

Remus avoided her eyes.

He still couldn't believe that she didn't mind his scarred skin...if not even be disgusted by it.

"Hey..." Tonks said softly, as she noticed his shame and turned his chin so he had to look at her.

"No need to worry! Nothing potentially awkward was uncovered, when I woke up," she smirked at him, not knowing that he wasn't only worrying about more southern parts of his body...

"Yeah, sure, nothing but these nasty scars..." he grunted.

"Don't always call them nasty or disgusting!" Tonks said indignantly and unwittingly abandoned herself to an impulse.

She shuffled closer to him and pushed the blanket down to his belly again, while Remus flinched nervously at her touch.

_What's she up to?!_

He held his breath, when she gently traced the thin lines on his chest with her fingertips.

"I already told you, that I find you attractive just the way you are," she said without stopping to touch him, her eyes still on his skin.

.

Remus didn't know what to do and so he just sat there and unbelievingly looked from her face to her hands on his skin.

The wolf inside him stretched out contently and seemed to say "See? Where's your problem, mate?"

He slowly started to relax again, sank back into his pillow so Tonks was now rather hunched over him.

He closed his eyes and calmed down.

His breath became regular again and he grunted quietly.

Surprised by himself he flinched, opened his eyes again and looked at Tonks with a small, sheepish smile.

She only laughed quietly and stroked his belly one last time, getting precariously close to the blanket and his hips.

Tonks had relaxed again, too, and now she just wanted to tease him a bit to see how far she could already go...

"Don't worry, I'm content with your upper body for today..." she winked at him and looked grinning at the part of his body, which was still covered by the blanket.

.

At first Remus was paralysed, but the he returned the mischievous smile.

"Well, I hope so!"

"Well, you never know what a woman does if her hormones act up..." she grinned and hunched over him again.

Her bubblegum-pink hair framed her face.

He lifted his hand to brush a strand of hair behind her ear and gently caressed her cheek.

"Thanks..." was everything he could say at the moment.

Maybe it was his instincts, which controlled him even after full-moon, or Tonks' smile. He didn't exactly know what it was, which made him make this decision.

"Tonks...I can't carry on like this. I will always be scared for you and I will always make it a matter of conscience if it will work out between us. Because I'll put you at risk, no matter on which level. But I can't fight it anymore...I think I'm in love with you, Tonks."

He nearly whispered the last words and looked into her eyes, waiting for her response.

And although he actually knew how she would react, there was still an ounce of fear inside him, that she might reject him.

Tonks however, had leant her face against his hand the whole time and listened patiently.

Now she just beamed at him, unable to say words as meaningful as his.

"I'm in love with you, too, Remus!" she said and a smile flashed his lips, she had never before seen on him.

It was more honest and beaming than any one before.

She slowly lowered herself onto his chest, while he wrapped his arms around her more than happily.

The wolf's acceptance towards Tonks had turned a switch inside him.

"Oh, and you can call me Dora, if you want..." she said faux-casually, without looking at him.

"How...?" he thought aloud and craned his neck to look at her.

"You spoke in your sleep, sunshine," she grinned and winked at him.

Remus just shook his head with a smirk and pulled her even closer.

They stayed in bed like this and dozed the whole morning, before they got up to go downstairs into the kitchen...


	21. plans

**Hello everyone! :3**

**After this sweet moment between the two "lovebird" I'm back with a slightly more serious (no pun inteded) chapter. **

**It's a bit more about Sirius and Remus. But don't worry, there's a little Dora/Remus moment in it, too.**

**Thank you all again very much for your reviews! Am I sounding repetetive again? ;)**

**I hope you enjoy! I appreciate every comment.**

** PablosGirl**

**PS: I wrote a christmas oneshot because a little idea came to my mind while I was walking my dog. Would you be interested in reading it? Of course it focuses on Remus, Sirius and Tonks. Tell me your opinion. I think I would wait a bit to upload it anyway, it's still October and I haven't even heard "Last Christmas" on the radio yet ;)**

danadanaBATMAN: Yey! I'm glad you liked it! I like writing these "shy-Remus" scenes somehow ;)

the394thdauntlesscake: I love your username, but I still can't remember the order of the numbers, so I always have to look it up again when I answer your reviews :D I'll learn it...someday. I'm happy you liked it :)

remusdora: I'm afraid I didn't write the scene where they enter the kitchen, but there are similar kitchen-scenes to come. One of my favourite scenes of the whole story is a kitchen-scene, you'll love it, believe me! I'm glad you liked it :3

* * *

Somehow Tonks had managed to convince Remus of staying in bed the following days so he could recover from full moon and the cold.

She affectionately cared for him, made him tea and, if necessary, threatened him with her wand if he didn't want to stay in bed again.

Sirius however had already recovered from his cold.

So this rainy afternoon, the Animagic was sitting in the kitchen by himself...Tonks was at work and Remus was sleeping upstairs.

.

He didn't know yet about their recent advances and so he started to imagine...

_They could be so happy...Tonks knows what she's getting into with him, at least I hope so. If Remus only let it happen...he would realize how happy he could be...but what else can I do? He didn't even believe me when we were young._

Sirius sighed loudly.

When they were young...when everything had been as it should be.

When James and Lily had still been alive, Remus less burdened and Peter...back then he had just been a harmless dork and not the target of all hatred inside Sirius.

Again, he sighed.

Of course everyone knew how much it wore him out, day after day, after day, after day he was sitting in this hell hole, unable to do anything at all.

But this was only the tip of the iceberg.

He would have loved to just leave this place.

With nothing but his wand.

And then he would have hunted him down, no matter what...

.

The worst thing about his fantasy, Sirius was aware of this, was the fact that Remus had met Pettigrew.

This sign of life from Pettigrew, this seeming closeness and accessibility, suddenly made his plan absurdly realistic and possible.

.

"One day I'll get you, one day you'll pay for everything, you bloody rat. You managed to escape once...I won't lat that happen again, whatever the cost. And it will happen sooner than you could ever imagine..." Sirius hissed and buried his nails in the wooden table.

Remus was horrified.

Did he just get that right?

He had already been standing in the doorframe for a few minutes, unnoticed by Sirius, watching the other's mood anxiously.

_I won't allow that, my friend! You haven't been hiding for years, just to die on me because of this prick...,_ Remus thought bitterly and stepped into the kitchen so Sirius eventually noticed him with a start.

.

"How long have you been standing there?" Sirius growled moodily.

"Long enough to know what you're up to," Remus said and sat down.

Sirius just nodded briefly and then a minutes-long silence ensued between them.

"And get this straight, Sirius: I won't watch you throwing away your life because of this rat. Let alone allow it," Remus said slowly with a grim expression.

"Throw away my life? My life?! You can't be serious, Remus! What's left for me to throw away in this _life_?" Sirius replied louder than necessary.

"Oh come on, don't start all that again! Harry needs you, Tonks needs you...I fucking need you! Where would I be without you right now? Damnit Sirius, I know you're frustrated and I know you still have an outstanding score to settle. But you can't do that. That's madness! Aside from that..."

Remus suddenly broke off.

He had talked, nearly shouted, himself into a rage so he had almost told him.

"Aside from what?" Sirius shouted back at him. "Wasn't it you, who had been standing in Knockturn Alley day after day just to lie in wait for him?! You were the one to...wait a second..."

Sirius stopped shouting again as he noticed how Remus reacted to the topic.

The latter had dropped his gaze, biting his lower lip.

.

"Remus...you were planning the same thing, right?" Sirius asked, now in a quiet tone again.

Remus looked up at him, took a deep breath and nodded silently.

Sirius sank back into his chair.

Why didn't he see this earlier?

"Now give me one reason, just one, why_ you_ should throw away your life. Remus-" Sirius said, but Remus interrupted him harshly.

"Because I'd do it with a bit more of preparation, that's why! I know it's dangerous. I'm just waiting for the right moment. I have to know that he'll be there. I can't just hope for him walk into Knockturn Alley every day," Remus explained, his voice bitter.

Sirius already wanted to backtalk, but Remus didn't let him.

"Sirius, I know it's still bloody dangerous! But who knows when there'll be another chance again? I could kick myself for being sick. I'll start observing again as soon as possible..."

.

And yet again, Sirius sighed.

Of course this plan was sheer insanity, no matter who would carry it out eventually.

But insanity was the right word to describe what kept them both going after all those years...the idea to catch Pettigrew and make him pay.

"Nonetheless you'd be a murderer, Remus..." Sirius tried it again, but Remus already shook his head.

"I won't kill him...not if I can prevent it. He doesn't deserve it. He deserves Azkaban, Dementors..." Remus said quietly.

"I can't stop you from doing it, can I?" Sirius asked his friend a last time.

Smiling bitterly Remus shook his head.

"Whatever your plan may look like eventually...take care! I couldn't bare losing you, too...Tonks wouldn't get over it..." Sirius said. "Just listen to your heart already, Remus. There's more than plain friendship between you! I can see how you look at each other!"

.

Remus tried hard to prevent it, but he failed.

The blood rushed to his cheeks and he looked away, unable to stop the smile spreading on his lips.

Sirius eyes seemed to get bigger and bigger.

"Remus. John. Lupin! Is there anything you want to tell me?" Sirius asked laughing and stared at the Werewolf.

"It's not that big of a deal...I, well, told her I'm in love with her. I admitted it to myself...however, we got a little closer," Remus said satisfying Sirius' curiosity.

"Not a big deal? Remus, you finally got it! Yeah, yeah, I know you still got some doubts. But she'll have her ways of knocking that nonsense out of you," Sirius said with a mischievous grin.

At first Remus wanted to protest, but then he started to laugh.

Sirius joined in and for a few seconds their laughter filled the empty walls of number 12.

After they had calmed down, they both got silent again.

The initial topic of their conversation had crept back into their minds.

"Just take care of yourself, Moony," Sirius said once again.

.

A few days later Remus could convince Tonks that he was fit enough to leave the house again.

Finally he could carry on his observation.

Since their talk in the kitchen, Sirius and Remus hadn't spoken a word about it again and Remus was right with his assumption that this wouldn't change until one ominous October night...

.

"Tonks, I'm healthy again" How long do you want to lock me up in here?" Remus said laughing when the almost one head smaller Tonks tried to step in his way.

"No sore throat anymore?" she asked, pressing her hands in her sides.

"No sore throat." Remus answered monotonously.

"No runny nose?"

"Tonks!"

"Okay, okay..." she replied, bit her lip, crossed her arms and turned away slightly.

"Hey, what's the matter anyway?" Remus asked softly and stepped up to her.

.

The certainty he could just hug her without thinking about it made him smile.

"I don't want you to go..." the young woman said honestly.

Remus sighed.

"I promise you I'll be back in one piece. It's just very important for the Order..." he said and pulled her into his arms.

_Flat out lie_, crossed his mind. _Great, we're not even in a relationship and I'm already lying to her. But there's no other way..._

Now Tonks was the one to sigh.

"Okay, but take care, will you?" she said and leant into his embrace.

"Of course, Dora..." he said and held her tight.

.

And so he was standing in the pouring rain for days again, this time with the protection-charm Tonks saddled him with every time he left the house.

He even saw Malfoy and Pettigrew again a few times and it always alarmed him.

He always had to fight the inner urge to just dash off and let the wolf inside him do the rest...although it felt much easier to control the beast inside him during the last time.

Everything he had to do was to think about Tonks...

One particularly rainy and cold evening, Remus managed to pick out something from the murmur inside Borgin&Burke's which made his heart skip a beat...


	22. only waiting

**Tadaaa, I'm back! *dun dun* **

**I hope you all had a nice day and I'll try to make it even better with a new chap!**

**But I'll have to explain something first: yes, I wrote the part Molly is so excited about much earlier than in the books. I hope you don't mind, but I needed something to confuse our Remus a little bit ;) **

**You'll see what I mean when you read the chapter.**

**We're only four chaps away from the end by the way...the end of part one, don't worry ;) Just wait for the epilogue, I hope it will make you curious.**

**But for now: enjoy the chapter and leave a comment! :3**

** PablosGirl**

danadanaBATMAN: You better be, because it's getting intense...at least I hope so! ;) Thank you very much for your comment once again! :3

remusdora: Oh, I love those three little dots ;) Especially if they make you curious for what will happen next. The secret will be lifted in this chapter and it will change a LOT!

* * *

"Pettigrew an I will collect it on Halloween. And I'm warning you! If anything's not all right with it, there'll be consequences!"

With these words Malfoy and Pettigrew turned to leave.

Remus, who was standing in front of the shop under the invisibility cloak, was trembling with tension.

Only a while ago he had told Sirius that he only had to wait for the right moment...

And now it was there!

.

He was standing still in the rain, which poured down onto the small Alley, creating small streams and lakes in between the cobblestones.

Only minutes after the two Deatheaters had left, Remus moved again.

A storm was raging inside his head.

_How am I supposed to do this? It won't work out when I'm on my own...but I can't ask the Order. Dumbledore would behead me, if he knew about it...I could ask Kingsley or Mad-Eye...then The Auror's would get him directly. No, that's impossible. It's already dangerous enough. What if Tonks had the shift that night? No, I can't do that...I have to do it myself._

He slowly started to walk back home, when his head started to work again.

_Alone against two Deatheaters, that won't be easy. Sirius is right, I'm risking so much. If I don't return..._

Remus had to swallow hard.

_...no one except Sirius is going to know what really happened. Not Tonks, not Ben...ait a second, Ben?!_

Remus stopped dead in his tracks and disapparated with a loud noise.

.

Ben had been in the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, when suddenly someone knocked on his door and voice could be heard.

"It's me, John! It's important, Benjamin!"

Ben immediately dropped everything and rushed to the door.

"What's your Patronus?" he said to his door.

"A wolf," replied the door and he let Remus in.

.

"What happened?! Take a seat, do you want tea?" Ben said, still a bit taken by surprise.

"No, I'm fine, thank you! I better come straight to the point..." Remus said and looked at Ben seriously.

The latter sat down and nodded at him invitingly.

"You once said that you owe me a favour...well, I could use that now. Only if you agree, of course."

Remus told him everything, beginning with the evening of his introduction to the Order until this night.

.

Exhaling deeply, Ben sank back into the cushions.

"I don't want to rush you, it's very dangerous, I know..." Remus said exhausted.

"I'll do it!"

"What?" Remus asked puzzled.

"I'll do it, I'll help you catch that rat. I owe you and the risk seems appropriate to me. I'll help you, Remus!" Ben said seriously.

"Thank you! We are more than even with that," Remus said quietly and stood up to leave.

Ben accompanied him to the door, where Remus embraced his friend.

"Halloween?" Ben asked, when Remus let go of him.

"Halloween," Remus confirmed and left.

.

The next day Moll and Arthur arrived at number 12 quite early.

The Weasley-mother was carrying several baskets full of groceries.

"What are you doing with all this stuff?" Sirius asked surprised.

"I'm going to cook for all of us today!" Molly said gleefully.

"To what do we owe this honour?" Remus asked, placing a cup of tea in front of him and Tonks.

Molly parked the baskets on the kitchen counter, turned around and looked at them, her hand twisted in front of her chest.

Her cheeks were glowing and a big smile flashed her lips.

"Bill and Fleur are going to visit tonight...there is news! I can't tell you, just wait for tonight!" Molly explained and nearly burst with anticipation and pride.

.

"Er, okay..." was everything Tonks could say but was infected by her happiness. "I'll have to leave now! See you later!"

"Take care!" mumbled Remus and smiled at her worriedly.

_Look who's talking! Who wants to attack two Deatheaters at Knockturn Alley in a few days?_, he thought.

.

In the evening it was finally time.

Molly seemed to get more and more nervous as the minutes passed and couldn't get rid of the bright grin on her face.

"What's the matter?" Tonks asked rhetorically and smiled at Remus.

But the Werewolf had still been deep in his thoughts only seconds ago.

None of the members had had any bad news.

And no news was generally good news, every member had learnt that quickly...

"Pardon? I'm sorry Tonks, I wasn't paying attention..." he apologized.

"Ah, nothing. I'm just wondering what's the news making Molly that wired," she laughed and gestured towards Molly, who started to serve the more than everyday dinner.

The clicking of the front door and a low mumbling in the hallway could be heard.

"There they are! Finally!" Molly cheered, put her oven gloves away and hurried into the hallway.

And so everyone else looked at the kitchen door curiously.

.

Only seconds later Bill appeared in it, long haired and with his earring as always.

With a wide grin on his face he friendly waved at everyone, even Ben who he didn't even know.

Molly squeezed past him into the kitchen and looked at her son expectantly.

"I've got wonderful news for you!" the red haired man said and his smile was nearly as beaming as his mother's.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you all earlier. But it hasn't been that easy the whole time and we wanted to tell you when everything was safe...so, my family already knew about it, obviously. But they mustn't say anything."

The silence seemed to hum with the pleasant anticipation of the Order members and even Remus had forgotten about his musing and smiled at the Weasley.

"Come on in, darling!" Bill said, looking into the hallway.

And then Fleur entered the kitchen...with an already impressively round belly.

"I'm preg'nant! Eight months!" the Quarter-Veela said to everybody around beamingly.

An instant storm of congratulations and good wishes broke descended over the young parents to be.

Everyone got up to shake their hands and Remus looked around the room.

The Order members seemed to be relaxed and happy for the first time in months.

Even Mad-Eye had a wide grin on his face, while big tears of joy ran down Molly's cheeks.

Ben was standing next to Sirius, who had his hands in his pockets casually, and talked to him.

And then Remus's eyes met Tonks.

She was standing next to Fleur, both laughing.

Invited by her, Tonks carefully lay her hand on her belly and they both grinned at each other...obviously the baby had moved.

.

Remus had to smile unwittingly.

Tonks might be young and yet she was a woman, too...

And again doubts crept into Remus' head.

He wouldn't be able to offer this to her, he wouldn't be able to offer anything to her...

But he quickly shook the thought off.

He had promised her to try.

.

Tonks approached him again with a big smile on her face and he forced a small smile, too.

"Well, if that's no good news!" she said gleefully and beamed at him.

Remus only nodded, enough for Tonks to get the hint.

"Hey? Bad mood again? Did something happen? Even now you're just brooding!"

He felt caught.

He couldn't hide anything from her, could he?

Remus already wanted to answer, when Molly raised her voice.

"Sit down, everyone! Let's eat!"

"After dinner, okay?" Tonks insisted on an answer, but at least Remus would have time to think about it now.

He couldn't tell her about his plan, but he didn't want to lie to her either...not again.

.

Slowly but surely everyone finished eating and the hum of voices filled the room again.

Remus was playing around with his fork on his empty plate, trying not to look into Tonks' direction.

But in the corner of his eye he could already see her turning around to him.

"Shoot! What's going through your mind?" she asked smiling understandingly.

He felt her hand gently on his knee and looked up at her.

"Don't worry, it's going to stay on your knee," she whispered with a mischievous smile.

Remus smiled at crooked smile and blushed.

"Well...it's just..." he started to stammer.

He had come to a decision, but that didn't mean that it would be any easier to tell Tonks what he was about to say.

He looked at her invitingly nodding face and sighed.

"Listen, Dora!" he said quietly so nobody would hear him except her and took her hand under the table. "I already lied to you once, I don't want to do that again. But I can't tell you what's bothering me, I'm sorry. It's just not possible. I know you're worrying about me and maybe it isn't even that unjustified this time...but you have to trust me, please! Do you think you can do this? It will only be two more weeks, then I'll concentrate on you...on us again. Alright?"

Now the young witch sighed.

"Okay, I trust you. But whatever it is, promise me you'll take care of yourself, okay? I don't want to see any scratches or bruises on you!"

Remus nodded.

But at this time, none of the two knew that Remus would get much more than just a scratch...


	23. Halloween I

**I'm back with a very action-packed chapter for you!**

**I really hope you like it, because I do! :) As you can see, it's part one of a double-chapter again and believe me, it's a very mean cliff at the end...so? Should I upload both chapters today? Or should I let you all wait? *evil villain laugh***

**Maybe I'll just wait for your reactions, we'll see :)**

**Anyway, thank you all for your recent comments, I'm happy I can make you curious.**

**So, here it goes, enjoy and leave a comment! **

**PablosGirl**

**PS: the captcha for my log in was "owl" today, can't get any better, right? :3**

remusdora: Thank you very much, I really appreciate that you like my story so much :3 1) And yes, as long as I see that people like it, read it and leave a review from time to time, I'll keep translating it. 2) Yes, I know it's way earlier than in the books and that it messes up the whole original timeline ;) I hope you don't mind because I'll pick up Remus' doubts considering this topic again later in the story. 3) Oh, then you'll have a lot to be angry about during the next two chapters ;) 4) I'm curious about your reaction on the trouble he WILL get in, some of it now, some of it later...

danadanaBATMAN: Aww, I'm glad I could make your day a bit better :) I hope you have a nice day today, too! Naah, I'm afraid there'll be a mean cliffhanger at the end of this chap...but if you all leave me a review, I could change my mind about uploading it later...great, now I'm already starting to blackmail my readers ;)

* * *

She had promised him.

He had told her to trust him, so he wouldn't have to lie to her.

But what could be bothering him that much?

It just didn't want to leave Tonks' mind.

And his appearance didn't help much, either.

Over the last week he had been getting more and more restless.

When she addressed him he flinched and the dark circles around his eyes indicated that he didn't sleep very well.

_If I only were able to help him somehow...I'm so worried. He's so restless...I hope it's over soon_, Tonks thought, when she went to bed.

.

Remus however couldn't get to sleep until the next morning.

The memory of this one evening just didn't let go of him.

Tonks, who beamed at him while touching Fleur's belly.

His own joy he felt for the young couple.

Bill's father's pride.

Every time he tried to relax all this crept back into his mind...and this happened way too often for Remus' taste.

His self-doubts grew bigger and bigger...he would never be able to make Dora completely happy.

His doubts slowly squeezed in between him and Tonks, but also between him and his plans for Halloween.

Day after day he had tried to take his mind off these things, cleaned every room from Doxies and boggarts and rearranged his room all the time, walked through the house aimlessly...

The more the moment of truth approached, the more restless he got.

He couldn't sleep at night...just like in the night of the 30th October.

.

It was still dark outside when Remus went down into the kitchen.

His head felt as if it was about to burst and he wanted to finally sleep again.

But at the same time he couldn't relax, not even for five minutes.

He tried to read the Daily Prophet, but instead he just looked at the clock every two minutes.

He made himself some tea, tapping his feet nervously and biting around on his fingernails.

Then Sirius entered the kitchen.

"You look like crap!" he greeted him and made himself a cup of tea, too.

"Thank you, you too!" the Werewolf answered.

Sirius turned around and a wide grin appeared on their faces simultaneously.

"I mean it, when was the last time you slept the night through?" Sirius asked and sat down.

But Remus just waved his hand around and started to abuse his finger nails again.

After a few minutes of silence and Remus nibbling his nails, running his hand through his hair and tapping his feet, Sirius raised his voice again.

.

"It's today, isn't it?" he asked seriously after he had watched Remus the whole time.

The latter just nodded silently.

He's really doing it. How could I push that to the back of my mind the whole time? Of course he would do it! What if I lose him, too? No, I mustn't even think about that. Remus is a competent wizard, he has always been. No need to be worried. But what if...no, he's not alone. Ben will be with him...but why is he so nervous then? He's been so restless for days.

More and more thought threatened to flash through Sirius' mind.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine. I'll manage Peter, don't you think?" Remus said and a smirk appeared on his lips.

"I know, but I dare you! If anything happens to you, I'll kill you!" Sirius said moodily.

"You know where I am," Remus replied and the Animagic nodded.

.

The depressing mood had returned and Remus went back to his nervous quirks again.

"What's going on? You're looking like someone stepped on your hamster or something," Tonks said winking as she entered the kitchen.

But when the two men just sat there in silence, she got suspicious.

_Something's definitely wrong here_, she thought.

"Is it about the...thing?" Tonks asked and looked at Remus, while she stepped closer to him.

He nodded.

"You have to-"

"Yes, I know, trust you. I know..." she interrupted him and stepped behind his chair. "It's just difficult to watch you getting more and more tired, you know?"

"I know...just be patient...only a little bit more," he said.

It was hard for him to beg for her patience over and over again, while there were just a few hours left.

.

He sighed but a few seconds later a chill went down his spine, raising the hair on his neck.

Tonks hat put her hands on his shoulders and slowly stroked over them with circular motions.

_Merlin, that's good!,_ he thought and blushed.

Sirius was sitting right in front of him, grinning at him blatantly.

"Oh come on, Sirius. He's not even naked!" Tonks said with a grin.

Remus' cheeks got even redder and the memory of last full-moon came up again.

He had been naked back then, well under the blanket.

A small smile flashed his lips unwittingly.

"You wouldn't mind, if he were, right Tonksie?" Sirius countered while his grin got even more mischievous...

And to Remus' cost she didn't answer but just grinned sliently.

.

The rest of the morning went by quite quickly, at least for Tonks.

She was sitting in the kitchen, chatting and scooping cereal into her mouth, while Remus and Sirius contributed to the conversation with a "hmm" or a nod from time to time.

For Remus the hours felt like chewing gum.

The clock's hands seemed to move achingly slow.

Then suddenly Tonks snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Well, I'll be upstairs...my reports are waiting for me," she said resigning and left the room.

.

Remus slowly lifted his gaze as he heard her footsteps on the stairs and looked at Sirius.

"I'll have to go now," Remus said quietly and stood up, too.

"Take care, Moony," Sirius said throatily and had to swallow hard.

And he was serious about it, more than ever before, Remus knew that.

One last time Sirius pulled Remus into his arms before he let him go.

Remus went upstairs to get his cloak, when he passed Tonks' room on his way downstairs again.

He stopped in front of it, hearing her bustle around behind the door.

He knocked and carefully opened the door.

"Tonks?"

"Hm? What's up?" she said and waved at him to come in.

He slowly closed the door behind him, staying right behind it.

"Is everything alright?" she asked and stepped closer.

"Yes, I just wanted to say goodbye before I leave."

.

And Tonks realized, what he meant.

She didn't know where he was going or when he'd be back.

But she knew it was about this "thing", which made him so restless.

Remus gently pulled her into his arms.

Again, she could feel his warm chest through his shirt, as he pulled her even closer.

"Be careful! I'll be waiting," she said quietly.

Remus saw the sparkling in her eyes and pressed his lips on her hair.

Then he left.

.

A few hours later, two men were standing in the pouring rain, not to be seen under their invisibility cloaks.

They silently exchanged a look.

They had been waiting for hours for Pettigrew and Malfoy to show up.

The rain got worse and worse and Remus' hope shrank more and more.

Had he misheard it?

No!

But why didn't they show up?

Remus had just finished his thought, when Ben nudged his arm and pointed at the end of the small alley.

Two dark figures were approaching them, mumbling quietly.

Remus clenched his fists to keep his hands from trembling, when Malfoy and Pettigrew walked past them into the shop.

It would only be a few minutes until the moment he had been waiting for days and weeks.

It felt like years and even as the two Deatheaters left the shop, everything seemed to be in slow motion.

The small bell over the door rang.

The rain drummed on the cobblestone.

The two Deatheaters were mumbling something inaudible.

One look at Ben and a nod...then the two Werewolves dashed off.

Red flashing lights met green ones and were reflected in the falling rain drops.

Remus ducked and Ben tried his best to dodge the attacks, too.

Pettigrew however was still frozen by surprise so that Remus and Ben used their chance and encircled Malfoy.

"Damnit, Pettigrew! Move your ass!" Malfoy barked over his shoulder but Pettigrew was still standing still.

Again and again he had smelled the wolf and every time he had thought he was paranoid...

.

A storm of red light flashed towards Malfoy, but he knew how to counter them.

Again and again he projected blue and green curses from his wand, making it difficult for the Werewolves to dodge them, even though they were technically in the majority.

The rain didn't help very much, either.

Then its happened.

A blue flash grazed Remus' side and he fell to the ground.

"No!" screamed Ben and already wanted to run to his help, when another curse hit him, too.

It burned the skin on his forehead and the world started to get blurry in front of his eyes.

His knees gave way but he had already reached Remus.

The latter slowly started to focus again and get up, while Ben protected him from the curses which hailed down on them.

.

But where was Pettigrew?

Pettigrew!

Ben looked around tumbling.

He was feeling dizzy and his sight started to blur again.

And Remus quickly realized the reason for Ben's sudden excitement.

"Ben? Are you alright?"

But Remus had his hands full keeping himself up on his feet.

Remus nervously looked around for Pettigrew, blocking Malfoy's attacks.

They didn't have much time left and who knew if Malfoy had already called for help.

"Stupor!" shouted Remus and was surprised it wasn't only his own voice.

Ben had had the same idea and so two flashes hit Malfoy at the same time and he collapsed.

Only then, Remus saw Pettigrew.

He was already a few metres ahead of them, running towards the other end of the ally.

.

Remus' whole body was aching, he was covered in bruises and cuts, but after a nod from Ben they started to run.

Peter had never been the athletic type of guy...

In Remus however a wolf lay dormant, which finally scented its prey.

And he owed it much more, than he knew right now.

There was too much adrenalin in his veins to feel all the curse-hits and bruises to the full extend.

.

He got closer and closer to him.

Remus wanted to shock him but Pettigrew turned around and was quicker.

"Stupor!" he heard his high-pitched voice.

Remus breath was taken away.

His whole chest felt paralyzed, he fell to the ground and recognized the shadow, Peter cast under the street lamp.

"Oh, you thought it would be easy to catch me, right? And now you're lying in the dirt...pathetic beast! Should've better stayed in the woods like the rest of your kind."

Remus frantically tried to get up, but his chest was still constricted by this stinging pain.

" It's a mystery to me why you want to catch me anyway. To take revenge for your friends? To rehabilitate Sirius? How cute! Sirius will never be worth more than a pile of troll-shit, just like you...Werewolf! Time to teach you a lesson!" Pettigrew hissed hateful and lifted his wand...


	24. Halloween II

**Hey there! :3**

**I don't want to let you wait any longer, so here's the second part!**

**I'm curious about your reactions to it! I think I'll upload the epilogue today, too. It's very short but it's supposed to make you curious for more. **

**Let's see, if that works out ;) I would be glad, if you were interested in reading the next part, too...I know remusdora is ;) **

**I appreciate any feedback (as always ^^)!**

**Have fun reading, have a great day and for those of you who celebrate it: Happy Halloween! **

** PablosGirl**

remusdora: Thank you very much for your feedback! About the rest of your comment: I think your questions/thoughts will be answered in this chap. Enjoy!

* * *

"Shut up, you bloody rat!"

Pettigrew's eyes widened in shock when Ben ran towards them out of nowhere.

Remus used his chance.

With a deep growl he jumped up and grabbed Pettigrew by the collar.

He angrily pushed him back and crashed against a wall so that Pettigrew's wand got out of his hand and landed on the wet cobblestone with a rattling noise.

He was at Remus' mercy now...

But Remus didn't feel like cursing him.

He didn't want to use magic...

The wolf didn't want to...

Ben had stopped running two metres away from them, watching the scene stunned.

.

"Admit that you're a murderer!" Remus growled threateningly between his gritted teeth.

"Remus, you know-"

"SAY IT!"

"Remus!"

But Pettigrew didn't get the chance to hide behind lame excuses again, because Remus had already raised his fist.

He hit him hard in the face and Pettigrew collapsed on the wet floor.

.

"Admit it!" Remus growled again, staring at Pettigrew who was leaning against the wall.

"Remus...the Dark Lord..." he mumbled dizzily.

"Coward bastard!"

"I didn't have a choice..."

Remus was boiling with anger.

"You could've said no! Instead you became their secret keeper and betrayed them. You always had a choice!" Remus screamed at him.

"We would've all done the same thing! You! Sirius! Dumble-"

But Pettigrew didn't get to finish the sentence because Remus had hit him again.

.

Maybe he was bursting with anger.

Maybe he was controlled by the wolf.

Yet Remus was still able to control his strength.

And so Pettigrew lay on the floor unconscious after this hit.

Breathing heavily and with an angry expression on his face Remus took a step back and looked down at Pettigrew in disgust.

"Remus?" asked Ben carefully and stepped closer to his friend.

Remus however just mumbled something and pointed his wand at Pettigrew.

Thin ropes twined around him and he wouldn't be able to transform into the rat anymore.

He wouldn't make this mistake again...

"Let's go..." whispered Remus and they disapparated.

.

When they walked through the entrance hall of the Ministry, the unconscious Pettigrew floating in front of them, dozens of eyes followed them.

Shocked Ministry workers stopped, whispering and hissing at one another.

But Remus and Ben barely even noticed it.

The wolves inside them drew back and so the adrenalin was swapped with pain and numbness.

They walked on, concentrating on keeping their eyes open.

.

The scene couldn't have been any more grotesque, when two registered Werewolves delivered a dead man, who would prove an escaped mass-murderer innocent, at the Aurors' office.

Even Moody stared at the two men, who had several bleeding wounds on their faces, with his jaw dropped.

"We got him, Mad-Eye..." Remus said exhausted.

It took him a few seconds, then the Aurors moved again, mumbling spells to keep Pettigrew from fleeing and brought him into the high-security wing of the Ministry's dungeon.

.

"What the-? Just sit down, boys!" Mad-Eye grunted taken aback and led them to some chairs.

They sat down thankfully, screwing up their faces in pain.

More than ever Remus wished for the wolf to come back.

And yet a relieved smile flashed their lips.

They got him.

They really got him.

Now everything would change.

Nothing could be undone.

But they got him.

Sirius would be free...

.

And so it was only half an hour later, when Ben and Remus stood in front of number 12.

They really caught him.

Remus couldn't believe it.

So many thoughts flashed through his mind.

The news of Sirius having betrayed Lily and James.

Their funeral he only attended secretly in the background...

Their reunion at the shrieking shack.

The moment he handed Pettigrew to the Aurors.

And yet he felt wistful.

James and Lily.

All the other victims of Pettigrew.

Nothing could make this undone.

"Let's go inside, I think you've got some news to tell," Ben smirked at him.

"You're right," Remus said and a small smile appeared on his lips, growing bigger and bigger.

They quietly began to laugh until it turned into a relaxed laughter.

After a last deep breath they entered the house.

.

The clicking noise of the front door snapped Tonks out of her musing.

The whole evening, even during the Order meeting, Tonks had been lost in thought and biting her lip.

In the morning she had seen Remus for the last time and she had felt, that it was serious.

And so the rest of the day consisted of anxious waiting.

Just like for Sirius.

He had been walking around the house nervously, waiting for Remus to come home, who was risking his life, just for the sake of settling an old score and proving him innocent.

And maybe he would never return...

So now all eyes were on the kitchen door.

.

"Ben?" asked Dumbledore confused when he saw the cuts and bruises on his face, but he didn't answer.

Instead he just let Remus pass him.

"Remus!" yelled Tonks in shock and jumped from her chair, which fell to the floor with a loud noise.

Without hesitating she ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

With a pained moan and a small smile he embraced her.

"It's okay...I'm fine," he mumbled.

Tonks was incredibly happy to have him back alive and she didn't care what the others thought about her action.

And Remus' mood couldn't be marred anyway.

.

He gently pushed her away from him, looking at Dumbledore, who watched him with a piercing, expecting look.

For a second Remus felt like a schoolboy again and Ben shyly lowered his gaze, too.

But for now Remus didn't care what Dumbledore thought about his secret action.

They had caught Pettigrew.

.

"I've got some news for you," he said quietly, looking into the puzzled faces.

Only Sirius seemed to know and yet he didn't dare to smile yet...not before he had heard it from Remus himself.

Once again he took a deep exhausted breath and closed his eyes for a second.

"We got him. We got Pettigrew. He's in the Ministry now, in the dungeons."

When he opened his eyes again it took a few seconds for their faces to turn from confused masks into incredible, happy smiles and the first ones started to cheer.

Tonks wanted to hug him and never let go again, but she was too slow.

Regardless the consequences Sirius had dashed off and nearly knocked Remus off his feet, when he lunged at him.

For a moment he was the old Sirius again.

Black, the cool Gryffindor, who painted the school red and for whom the world was a playground.

He pulled the Werewolf into his arms and Remus returned the brotherly hug.

.

Ben was the next one Sirius flung his arms around.

After Remus had confirmed several times, that they really got him, he looked at Tonks again with a grin.

She was holding her hand in front of her mouth unbelievingly, but Remus could see her beaming underneath it, tears of joy in her eyes.

And so he stepped up to her, pulled her into his arms and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

He didn't care.

He didn't care, that the others saw it or what they might think about it.

.

"How about we all sit down again?" Dumbledore said mellow.

It was obvious that he didn't really appreciate this secret mission, but at the moment he was mostly happy about the good news, which was confirmed by the special issue of the Evening Prophet, which flew into the kitchen with an owl at the same moment.

He would still collect his scolding later, Remus knew that.

But not tonight.

.

A few hours later, it was already after midnight, Remus was still sitting in the kitchen with Sirius and Tonks.

"With Tonks" meant that she was sleeping peacefully, her head rested on her arms she had folded on the table.

Sirius stood up and said good night to Remus to go up into his bed.

"Remus, I..." he tried to utter how thankful he was.

"Don't thank me, Sirius. You know why," Remus said quietly so he wouldn't wake Tonks up. "I'll just tuck in this sleepyhead here."

Sirius nodded at him with a beaming smile and left.

.

Remus sat there for a while, watching Tonks sleep.

"Dora?" he whispered and gently touched her arm.

This name from his lips made him smile.

The thought of Pettigrew being caught, Sirius soon being free and Tonks maybe becoming his girlfriend made him the happiest person alive right now.

Tonks mumbled something which sounded like "pink rabbits", but didn't seem to wake up.

Remus shook his head smiling and got up to carry his Dora to bed.

His Dora?

Yes, that's what it felt like for him.

.

He gently lifted her into his arms and she automatically wrapped her arms around his neck, her head resting on his shoulder.

Her warm breath was tickling his skin.

When he entered her room he didn't want to let go of her anymore.

But eventually he put her down on her bed and gently covered her with her pink blanket.

"From now on you're mine, right?" she suddenly mumbled.

"Alright," he smiled.

"No dangerous missions anymore?"

"No dangerous missions anymore," he replied.

And so Tonks snuggled into her pillow and fell asleep with a smile on her lips.

Remus was smiling, too, a relieved, honest smile.

He was happy...


	25. epilogue

**So...here it is, the epilogue. **

**At first I want to thank anyone who read this story and especially those who gave me feedback because without you I wouldn't have that much motivation to keep updating. It's good to know what you think about it because I really enjoy writing this and I'm always trying to improve. So thank you very much again! **

**If you want to leave me a review for this small epilogue, I will happily read it and answer you if I'm able to send you a private message!**

**I already started translating the second part of this story and I will upload it as soon as possible. It will be called "It's just the way it is". **

**I would be glad to "see" you again at the second part! **

**Maybe this epilogue will make you curious, at least I hope so :3**

** PablosGirl**

remusdora: Aww, thank you very much, I really appreciate that you like my story :3 This epilogue is really short but there will be more Remus/Dora moments in part two, so I hope to read/see you again!

danadanaBATMAN: Awwwwwww, thank you! :3 I hope to see you again at part 2!

* * *

After he had woken up, Remus was still lying in bed for a long time, lost in thought.

Lost in thought, but with a smile on his lips...

Now, that he had the time to think about it properly, the last months felt so surreal.

Within a few weeks, a young witch with bubblegum-pink hair had stumbled into his life and his hurt.

At first he had tried to fight it.

Now he had to laugh about himself.

She was way too adorable to resist her.

And so he decided to listen to his heart from now on.

Maybe even listen to the animal inside him, which had helped him more, than he would have ever dared to believe...

.

At this moment, Remus didn't know about what the future would bring.

Not about the trial and not about old wounds.

About the first real kiss with his Dora.

His self-doubts.

Not about how he would get closer and closer to her.

Or about how Tonks would be the one to get in danger this time...

.

And so he got up, looking ahead positively, and went down into the kitchen.

A face, framed by bubblegum-pink hair, looked up and beamed at Remus.

"Morning!"

"Good morning, Dora!" he smiled back.


End file.
